Reeducation
by Five seas
Summary: Let's face it, men are pigs.' Nanao said. 'They don't help out, they don't let the toilet seat down and they definitley can't understand women.'. 'Then let's give them a hand.' Rangiku chipped merrily. ShunNao HitsuMatsu and more. Finis!
1. One sunny day in the summer

**"Let's face it, men are pigs!" **

**And when they face the facts, the SWA decides that things shouldn't go on like this. The resolution? Read on to find out.**

**I don't own Bleach. **

**I hope you guys like this. (And by the way, I wasn't joking in that last chapter of Checkmate)**

* * *

**One sunny day in the summer…**

It was another warm summer Saturday, the temperatures were high, the birds were too lazy to sing and yet another meeting of the SWA was being held.

Well, being held was not the right thing to say. Dragging on painfully slow was more correct. Almost every shinigami present in the room was suffering from the heat and the boredom. For the last two hours, Nanao and Isane were trying to find a way to justify the SWA's budget, since Yamamoto had stated very clearly, that if the shinigami women's association didn't find a way to use its funds, then they better stop holding meetings. Which was simply not possible. If the SWA was gone…well, it would mean more free time and less hanging out of your comfortable home, but winning women's rights and then dismissing their association was like saying _"Fine, we had our five minutes in the spotlight, we don't like it, please, we're letting the men rule the world again."_

It was a concept which even Nanao couldn't accept. Sure, she liked being second seat, and maybe, just maybe, she was holding herself back to stay lieutenants, instead of captain, but the SWA was a nice organization and if she let it go Kyoraku taicho wouldn't let her hear the end of it.

"Ok, how about we make a bakery sale…" Nanao began, but Rangiku sighed out loud and leaned back on her chair, pressing her hands to her forehead.

"Nanao-chan, please, stop it! My hangover is bad enough!"

Nanao looked at her friend and crossed her arms.

"Well, sorry if I'm boring you."

"Nah, it's not just that. This is not a way to solve the problem. Bakery sales aren't getting us anywhere. Next Saturday we'll be stuck here again and we'll be discussing the same lame stuff again. We need something big! Something that'll make people talk and something they won't forget in a long time!"

"Ano…Rangiku-san…" Isane chipped in "Last time you said something like that, your idea wasn't a very good one."

"What's wrong with shooting a calendar? We would've had Kyoraku taicho buying out at least half of them if Nanao agreed to participate." Matsumoto pouted.

"True, but the idea failed because nobody wanted to have pictures of him in a bathing suit taken and hung all over Seiretei." Unohana taicho pointed out politely.

"Oh, fine, that wasn't such a good idea. Frankly, I can't come up with anything right now." Matsumoto sighed and leaned back on her chair. "Let's leave all those numbers and papers aside, my taicho is giving me enough of them back at the office. We need to think about something else, talk about something else. Maybe we'll get better ideas like that."

Nanao nodded, her head had began aching too.

* * *

"So….are you guys still up for going out tonight? We can go to the living world, grab ourselves a gigai and check out the bars, the men, the sake, the bars, the men, the food and of course…did I mention the bars?" Rangiku asked.

"No thanks. I have paperwork to catch up with." Nanao put aside her calculations and cleaned her glasses with a piece of cloth.

"How can you possibly have paperwork to catch up with, you do it all the time?" Isane asked "I have a lot to do too, but I always have spear time for myself in the evenings."

"Because your captain doesn't need babysitting."

"Oh, but Ise-fukutaicho, Matsumoto-fukutaicho also falls behind with her paperwork and nobody's going to her throw her in prison for not doing so."

"Because Hitsugaya taicho does hers and he hardly insists on her staying at the office. Face it, in a division the captain and the lieutenant have to share their duties so that they can have enough free time for a personal life, otherwise one of them goes nuts! He's gotten away with very little, though-at least he doesn't need to fake her signature because he's in charge of the entire squad."

"Well, well, faking Kyoraku taicho's signature, eh, Nanao? And you say we're the ones acting naughty." Kiyone chuckled

"You have to deal with what you have." The former said with a shrug "I fancy myself pretty good in doing so, after a few centuries of practice."

"Ise-san, as much as I feel for you, it is better to talk to Kyoraku taicho other than going so far." Captain Unohana said softly "Why don't you explain to him that his neglect of his duties as your captain are having a bad influence on your health and personal life?"

"With all due respect, Unohana taicho, I've tried to do that. He just doesn't pay any attention, as if my opinion doesn't matter at all."

"Are you sure you're not approaching him the wrong way? Taicho always listens to what I'm saying." Rangiku said.

"No, not really. I just smack him on the head with my fan."

"That usually works on my lieutenant." Soin Fong said in a gloomy voice.

"Well, you don't want him falling in love with you, do you?" Rangiku laughed at Nanao's startled expression "Oh, come on, Nanao-chan. If you're ignoring the obvious, that doesn't mean we're ignoring it as well. Come on, Kyoraku is a nice guy, and I'm sure he can do his paperwork if you persuade him to do so the right way."

"I AM NOT GOING TO…"

"Geez, what's wrong with asking nicely?" Matsumoto asked "Really, Nanao, aside from his habit to mistake documents for firewood, what do you disapprove so much of him?"

"He's never serious. He can't understand me. When I tell him I'm tired he's asking me if I'm in my period and if I wanted to take the whole week off, instead of just one afternoon. And he does it in the mess hall, in front of the whole squad. It's not funny, Rangiku!"

"No, it's hilarious!"

"He has absolutely no regard for our status in front of the troops, he doesn't care about how he looks to the others and he definitely does not think about how I feel."

"What, you're blaming him for being too straightforward? Not that I can congratulate myself on an excellent relationship, hell, I don't even have prospects of any relationship, but can't you make a compromise?"

"Compromise with Kyoraku taicho is turning yourself into a whole different person. We're like two polar opposites."

"Then you both should make compromises." Isane smiled "Move closer to the equator."

"To do so they have to talk first, and as Ise-san said, he hardly understands what she's trying to tell him." Soi Fong retorted. "To talk to a man, you need a universal dictionary and at least 360 hours of tutoring."

"Yeah, and they're very stubborn. My captain always tries to skip on his medication." Kiyone cut in.

"But he gives you and Sentaro something to do, right?" Rukia asked "Otherwise, you two would die from boredom."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Well, it's not like people like being sick." Isane stated "The less patients we have in the 4th division, the better. It means people look after themselves and don't need intensive care."

"Yeah, and sometimes it means that men prefer to drown their pain in sake than to see a medic. They're so proud, they just won't admit that they can be weak too."

"But isn't pride a normal male behavior?" Nemu asked "As the leader of a tribe in the Stone age, men had to demonstrate health and power."

"Yeah, but back then the most important thing was survival, and the biggest act of heroism was killing a mammoth."

"But still, the alfa male had to prove himself the strongest and enduring. Thus, hiding weakness is a natural reflex of all men." Nemu went on.

"But it's not just about being obnoxiously proud. Men are just impossible sometimes. They never listen to what you say to them." Hinamori sighed "If only my captain listened more carefully he wouldn't have gotten himself in such a mess."

The rest of the women decided to stay quiet on that one. Hinamori's unfortunate romance with Aizen taicho was a theme people preferred to skip for the sake of the entity of their limbs. Momo could get really violent when her beloved captain was involved into some conversation.

"Yes, they never listen and they never understand. And they say the most inappropriate stuff sometimes." Isane swiftly changed the subject back to men and their many flaws.

"And they tend to be too violent." Unohana taicho chipped in, remembering how Zaraki always gave her too much work with his over-enthusiastic for fighting troops.

"And lazy."

"And they never let the toilet seat down." Rukia nodded "Or so this manga here says." She pulled out her latest book, some doujinshi and for the next few minutes, the women educated themselves in studying the comic….and turning it around a couple of times to see better.

"Wow…" was all that Matsumoto could say in the end. "This was really strange."

"Yeah, but it seems women in the West who live with their boyfriends find this…toilet seat issue, very troublesome." Rukia explained

"This is all very upsetting indeed, given that those little facts are an obstacle for a man and a woman to have a real relationship…." Unohana began "But there is no good in picking about every small fault in men."

"Yeah, but it's not fair to find yourself a nice guy and then discover that he…loves broccoli, and you can't eat it?"

"Details…" Trailed Isane, but she seemed discouraged.

"Oh, let's face it. Men are pigs!" Nanao snapped "All they think about is their own lives, their pleasures, their everything. There is hardly a guy out there that cares about women and treats them with respect. If such a specimen is discovered, he'd be put in the zoo to be fed peanuts!"

Heavy silence fell upon the room, until Matsumoto's merry voice called out:

"Then how about we give them a hand there?"

* * *

It was a while until Rangiku explained her idea to the other members of SWA.

"So you propose a course for men that teaches them how to treat their girlfriends the way they wish to?" Nemu evaluated in the end.

"Exactly. Men can't talk to us because they're too ignorant of our lives. Take Gin and me for instance-we did grow up in one of the poorest districts of Rukongai, and we certainly kept no secrets from each other before we entered the academy. For treachery, I don't know, but we sure understood each other."

"So...show the men our point of view so that they can understand how we feel and re-evaluate their actions." Soi Fong titled her head

"In short, yes. What is PMS and what to do when your girlfriend is moody? When does she need sex to loose up and when you should just not mention it? How to court different types of women? All of this into a short course every Saturday, and it will justify our budget perfectly."

"But this won't be correct from a scientific point of view. Everybody has different tastes…" Nemu began.

"Yes, but it would be correct from a woman's point of view. Men are always complaining that the was between the sexes is making people sad, so let's end it by trying to learn something more about each other." Matsumoto smiled "After all, when you want peace, you have to show that you're not trying to burry the hatchet into somebody's head."

"It sounds like a good idea…" Kiyone began

"But are you sure that men are going to come to such a course?" Isane asked

"Indeed, they get touchy when you tell them to do things."

"My father always calls me strange names when I try to express my disagreement." Nemu said quietly.

The women looked at each other, and they all swore silently that one of these days, Mayuri taicho would get his artificial ass whooped.

"I'm sure he means no wrong." Nanao lied

"And as for gathering people, I'm sure we can persuade some men to come, and if things get desperate, we can just order our troops to go to the lecture." Rangiku chipped happily. "So, how about it girls? All in favor say 'I'!"

"I!"

* * *

A/N-Bleach II Arrancar, people, see that fic. If three people have written it, it has to be interesting, the least. Right?


	2. Strategy of women

I'll be trying different pairings here.

* * *

**Strategy of women**

Unohana taicho and Isane fukutaicho returned from the SWA meeting in a good mood, only to have it ruined to find their division cramped with people. It turned out that the 11th division had gone out to beat hollows up with the 7th division, and then thanks to Komamura and Zaraki's little issues, the two divisions had ended up fighting each other. When the 6th had arrived to stop the growing feud, the only people who were unharmed were Yumichika, Iba and Yachiro-the first because he thought their fighting was very un-beautiful, the second because Ikkaku was already too damaged from the fight with the hollows, and the third because she wasn't present.

Surprisingly, Yachiro hadn't rushed to Zaraki to tell him all about the SWA meeting, but as actually out there, helping the new cause. Actually, when they were preparing to leave after sorting out all the details and chores for the upcoming project, Matsumoto had said:

_"And remember, ladies, any low-ranked officer would come if ordered to, but we need to get the big men of Gotei 13, because everybody's looking up to THEM. If we can get some of the captains and lieutenants on our course and make them stay, its success would be greater than even if we got the entire Seiretei listening to us."_

Some of the younger women had agreed with Matsumoto that men needed re-education, if the war between the sexes was ever to be over, but Unohana was among those who though that men should be left alone. A man doesn't like to be told what to do or how to think, as Nemu had pointed out, and trying to organize their lives was like waiting for rain in the desert. However, seeing that even Zaraki was stupid enough to be bleeding like a slaughtered pig and refusing medical treatment, a little forced woman's point of view wouldn't hurt, right?

"Your senior officers are picking on Hanataro again, captain Zaraki." She stated as she was healing a nasty cut on his shoulder.

"Humph. It's his own damn fault, the pansy. I she doesn't want the men to pick on her, she ought to act rough."

"I'm afraid I can't agree with you. Not everyone has to be fearless in battle and ready to nail himself on his own sword."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'd expect to hear from ya."

"Every army needs healers."

"Not if the army knows how to heal itself."

"With sake? I don't think it worked here." Unohana smiled serenely and wrapped a bandage around his shoulder "I would advise you to give yourself more rest, captain."

"If that fairy Yumichika can move around then so can I."

"The reason why Yumichika-san can walk is because he was reasonable enough to stay away from Komamura tiacho's bankai, unlike your third seat." Unohana taicho sighed.

"Ya look bad yourself, even though ya haven't been out there." Zaraki gave the problem a thought "So I take it that if my men don't cause so much trouble, you'd feel better."

"Admitting my division's importance would be very relieving, yes."

"Well, we ain't doin' that. A soldier is meant to fight, not to watch a fight."

"I can disagree with you, but I'm afraid that the argument would lead us nowhere. May I suggest a bargain then?"

"What bargain?"

"To test your endurance. If a real man is not afraid of anything, then it wouldn't be a problem for you, Zaraki taicho."

"Hell yeah." Zaraki looked at her carefully "Who do ya want me to fight?"

"Not fight. I would like you to attend a course organized by the SWA." She handed him a leaflet, something they managed to whip up and print.

"Women's POV or how you can be a better boyfriend." Zaraki read out loud "What is this crap?"

"A project by the SWA. And a test of endurance, if you like. I'm challenging you to attend the course until the end." Unohana held back a snicker, imagining Zaraki being lectured by Matsumoto about PMS. However, being a mature adult and a woman, she pulled herself together to sound serious "Since I am the one initiating the challenge, it is only fair for you to pick the prize, Zaraki taicho."

"Fine. If I win, you won't complain about my troops fighting with your troops and…you'll personally attend to everyone's wounds after we come back after a battle like this." It was his duty, after all, to want the best treatment for his men, so that they could be up on their feet and fighting as soon as possible. After Unohana nodded, agreeing to that term, came the harder part. "And if I lose…I'll agree to assign kido users to my squad so that they can heal the guys and keep them away from your division and I'll be sending you a bunch of flowers every time one of my men insults a member of your squad. Deal?"

"I agree. Then I shall see you on the lectures next Saturday."

After she left his room to attend Komamura's injuries, Zaraki thought: _"What the hell did I get myself into?"_

* * *

Yachiro, hopping down the street, was having a hard time holding back her delighted snickers, because she had managed to attribute to the cause in only half an hour. But, being the president of the SWA, it was her duty to give her subordinates a good example. Big-boobies had said that the best way to get men into being more careful with women was that their leaders set them a good example, thus they just had to get the male captains and lieutenants on the course.

Hence, Yachiro thought, the best thing to do was to get them started one by one. She had talked to general Yamamoto, putting on her most serious face and talking about how much this cultural experience would attribute to the cooperation between male and female shinigami and how this would make the Gotei 13 more effective, and how he, as general-commander, could do a great job by giving his subordinates an example. Which, of course, had assured the presence of both the captain and lieutenant of the 1st division.

She had skipped the second, knowing that Soi Fong was already beating her vice-captain and her other ranking officers into sighning up for the re-education course. So onto the 3rd division then.

Surprisingly, all she had to do was sit near Kira's knee and give him the puppy dog stare to make him feel almost guilty for not knowing about the scheme and finally-convinced him to give up some of his paper-working time in order to come.

The 4th division was not an interest to her, as she knew that Unohana taicho would positively have some effect on her patients, and Yachiro had made up her mind to talk to Ken chan in the evening, and the 5th division held no high-ranking male officers for her to torture. So she was up before the 6th division office, already grinning evilly.

Renji jumped on his seat when she made her way in and skipping the introductions stated:

"The Shinigami academy, room 72, 10 o'clock, you guys will attend the lecture on women's POV every Saturday, and I want both of you there, got it?"

Renji was itching to scream at the brat to take a hike, but was stopped by the curious expression on his captain's face (and by the subconscious realization that Yachiro could mop the floor with him, because, after all, he was a gentleman and he would never hit a girl, even if she was a little demon in disguise).

"Is there something you want to share with us, lieutenant Kusajishi?" The nobleman asked, putting the mark on their difference of rank and the etiquette that she was oh so obviously lacking.

"The shinigami women's association is throwing a course for you idiot guys to learn how to treat ladies. You guys are going on them."

"And why should we do that?"

"Cause Rukia chan's helping there, she's your friend and YOUR sister, and because I'm insisting on your being there as the president of the SWA who can also kick your asses if you don't."

"I'm afraid those aren't very convincing issues, lieutenant Kusajishi." Was Byakuya's dry reply "My lieutenant and myself are far too busy to attend your course, but we thank you for the invitation."

"Why? Your division does the most paperwork a week."

"We do not need a course to know how to treat women. Well, at least I do."

Renji stirred on his seat-as much as he knew that his chances of getting Rukia were minimal and that his captain's opinion didn't matter much to him, being considered unrefined was not a good point for your social status.

Yachiro grinned:

"You're not so sure."

"I beg your pardon" Byakuya as getting irritated

"You heard me. You may be rich and handsome, but you'll need a dictionary if you want a woman to go out with you. We're offering you that."

"I do not need tutoring to know how to be on good terms with women."

"We'll see." Yachiro's smile could make Satan proud. "You guys just come to the first lesson and we'll all know exactly how good you are."

She left the room without waiting for a reply, and without even saying a proper goodbye. All the better, the thought. Let her words sink in and make them think about it. They'd be on the first row next Saturday, the plan was foolproof. It was all a matter of strategy.

* * *


	3. Mind of a man

* * *

**The mind of a man**

Nanao walked into the 8th division's office to find it a complete mess. Her first reaction was to scan the room for any enemies, while her hand made a dive for the zanpakuto tucked into her shirt. Then, after she found no hostile strangers, she slowly calmed down and searched to compound for any familiar reiatsu. Her eyebrow twitched as she made her way to her captain's quarters on the second floor.

"Kyoraku taicho. Ukitake taicho." She was calm, but her voice was pure poison "What happened here?"

As expected, her captain was passed out on the floor, and Ukitake taicho was trying to bring him about.

"Oh, Ise-san." He smiled and nodded his head, the closes thing to a bow that he was capable of "Shunsui got too much to drink, I'm afraid."

"More than usual? What is the occasion?"

"His younger sister's birthday. He said the party last night had been great."

"I see." She sighed and helped him carry her half conscious taicho to the bathroom and put a cold towel on his head.

"And how did the SWA meeting go, Ise-san?" Ukitake asked in a friendly manner "Did you find a solution for your budget issue?"

"Actually, we did." She smiled, a plan forming in her head.

* * *

After some time, Shunsui was conscious and talkative, sitting in his chair down at the office and affectedly ignoring the stacks of paperwork waiting for him.

"Nanao-chan, you should've come." He said "Sayoko would've been pleased to see you, you know how much she likes you."

"Sayoko-san told me that I don't have to attend the big party, but I went to congratulate her on the tea ceremony in her house."

"Oh, but I wasn't there, Nanao-chan." And thank god-Nanao didn't dare imagine Shunsui on a tea ceremony. "I wanted to see you."

"You see me every day." She stated flatly "And I don't need to watch you get drunk, I have enough by taking care of your hangover."

"How cruel! And what did you guys do on the SWA meeting today? If you didn't go, I'd have sobered up much faster, you know." He said with a devilish smirk playing on his lips. Nanao pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and sighed. The moment of truth was on!

"We decided to make a seminar."

"Oh? What kind of seminar?"

"Women's point of view. The men who attend our…course, will have to listen to women's opinions on certain matters without interrupting. Its purpose is for men to know us better."

"Oh. Well, I guess that I won't have to attend more school. I'm glad." He grinned sheepishly. Nanao's expression was blank. "What else will you do there?"

"Simply discuss issues that concern the men-women relationships. We'll try to end the war between the sexes, with the help of those willing to cooperate."

"Without sake?"

"We don't need it."

"Oh, what a pity. Not that I'm being disrespectful to your work, but I really hate lectures, Nanao-chan."

Ukitake sighed-he really wished that his two friends got together, but they were so stubborn. Shunsui thought that the best way to make a woman fall in love with him was: a/ sweet talk her; b/ give her fancy lingerie and skimpy swimsuits as presents; c/ take down stars for her or d/ all the above. Nanao hated his attitude and even though she had loved him for a long time and respected him as a captain, she thought that he was only mocking her. And neither of them was willing to change to make the other take the next step.

"Actually, I think it would be nice to have you there." Nanao stated flatly

"Thank you, Nanao-chan. Your words warm my heart. But still, I don't have many good memories in the lecture rooms of the academy."

Nanao made no comment, just shrugged. After some minutes she went to the bathroom, and Jushiro turned to Shunsui.

"Shun, are you sure about this?"

"About what, Juu?"

"You know…about not going to that seminar the SWA are throwing."

"But Juu, you hate the academy even more than I do, and besides, I don't need a course to talk to a woman."

"Yes, but that course will teach men how to become better suitors. What if Nanao suddenly starts getting courted from left and right?"

"What?!" Shunsui jumped up "You mean that somebody has their sights on my Nanao-chan?"

"Well…not in the way you put it…but Ise-san is charming and intelligent, and of course, some people find her quite attractive. Nobody's tried to court her yet, but I suppose that's because you spend a lot of time with her, and don't have the chance to approach her. But the course will teach them what she likes and they'll probably use it…and who knows, maybe someone will try and make a move on her right there."

Shunsui watched his best friend in horror, and then grabbed his shoulders and shook him up.

"Juu, this mustn't happen. We have to be there!"

"Well I…" The house of Ukitake wasn't exactly among the noblest, but he had been taught well and fancied himself a gentleman. However…something new to learn wasn't a bad idea, and he did want to see Shunsui and Nanao together. "Ok."

* * *

The next Saturday, Unohana, Nanao and Nemu prepared the lecture room. Matsumoto, Isane and Kiyone were arranging for something to eat and drink. The members of the SWA were really hoping that this would do, but if you could believe Yachiro's account, there would be a lot of captains and vice-captains coming.

"Hisagi-chan was hard to crack, but I told him that it was high time to get his mind off Tousen, and he told me that he wasn't gay and that he was going to prove it." Yachiro smirked dangerously.

"Yachiro-fukutaicho, this wasn't a very nice thing to say." Unohana taicho scolded her.

"Yeah, but he is coming, right?"

"We can depend on my captain coming as well."

"How did you get him to come?" Ycahiro asked.

"With the assistance of Ukitake-taicho." Nanao smiled smugly.

"Nanao-chan, you naughty thing." Matsumoto grinned as she set down some orange juice on the table "I knew there was a small troublemaker hidden behind those glasses of yours."

"I didn't do anything, I just let captain Ukitake tell him some of my arguments for me." Nanao eyed the drinks "This juice isn't spiked, right?"

"Nanao, how can you say that? If Yama-jii finds out alcohol on this course, he'll freak out."

"Good."

"I spiked the soda."

"But we've got the big guys of Gotei 13 here. That's great, right?" Kiyone chipped.

"Yes. I even invited Mayuri sama" Nemu said.

"Did he agree to come?" Unohana raised her eyebrows. Mayuri on a lecture was a rather scary thing to think about.

"He was reluctant at first, but when he saw the trouble most of you went through to get people here, he thought it might be interesting." Nemu looked at Unohana's expression curiously "Certainly, Unohana-taicho, it's not characteristic for you to trick someone into doing something, and you certainly used Zaraki taicho's ego to get him to come."

"Well, yes, but…" oh well. They were going to deal with it. Actually, Zaraki had placed a bet with a lot of lop holes in it-by keeping his subordinates at bay, for example, he wouldn't have to bring her flowers for insults, and if he had to, he hadn't clarified what flowers. Hell, he could drag a tree from the mountain to get away with it. But Unohana was used to treat a great deal of patients at the same time, so if she lost the bet, she wouldn't have a problem fulfilling her part of the bargain. As for not saying a word about the insults Hanataro suffered from…she could keep her mouth shut, but she could make SOMEBODY'S treatment extremely painful.

And after all, a man's pride was his biggest weakness-Zaraki would make out with Kuchiki Byakuya if it meant he'd prove his point.

* * *

**Bleach II: Arrancar**

This, my dear ladies and gentleman, is the story that takes a great part of my mind right now. It is something that _**Kristine93**,_ **_TheArchon_** and yours truly are writing together and tells the story of a young man with the tragic fate of becoming an arrancar after the Winter War. As you can probably guess, after Aizen's defeat, he can't really exist in Hueco Mundo, nor can he go in Soul Society. Met with hostitlity and prejudice, he has to overcome everything to prove himself to the (after) world and fulfill one very old promise.

You are wondering why am I telling you this? Well, as a concerned parent who wants his child to be appreciated, I am writing this with the hope of attracting some attention to it. Now, I'm not saying that you simply MUST love it, but I would appreciate it if you read it and left a comment. The couples haven't really been desided yet, so if you support us until the end you may have your favorite pairings in it as well (_Matsumoto and Hitsugaya_, as well as _Shunsui and Nanao_ have already been chosen and will not be changed).

Now, be dears, and give it a look. Every comment and support would be highly appreciated. (for the sake of the next chapter of this story coming out, got there and put some review, please) You may find it on my favourites list.


	4. Interlude for hell

* * *

**Interlude for hell**

It was hot. So DAMN hot! If they were in hell, it would've been like taking a trip to mount Fuji compared to THIS. Seiretei was never a veru cold place, and this summer had been particularly rough. The only hope the captains had to live through the stupid course was Hitsugaya Toushiro, captain of the 10th division, wielder of Hyorinmaru, the ice dragon, the only person capable of cooling down a room in ten seconds….

And the person currently missing.

Matsumoto watched with growing concern as the people started to gather, but her captain's reaitsu was nowhere in sight. She threw worried glances through the window and asked captain Ukitake if he had seen him anywhere. But no-the prodigious child of Soul Society was gone.

She bit her lip-she had left a leaflet for him, damn it! She had told him about it. Had he promised to come? He had said something, but she was too busy preparing her opening speech to pay closer attention to his words.

Ooops. Oh well. She wasn't going to let him walk that easily.

In a flash of shunpo, Matsumoto got to the office and found her captain right where she wanted him to be-sitting behind his desk, doing the endless stacks of paperwork. She bit her lip-even if Toushiro was too young to need advice on how to treat women (or at least so he looked like), it was a pity to watch him slave to that stupid bureaucracy.

"TAICHOOO!" Matsumoto squeaked out, rushed into the office and gave him a big hug. There was a pause, during which Hitsugaya was probably wondering what happened to all the lights, and then there was a muffled growl coming from somewhere between her infamous assets"

"Matchumoto!! Ret mfe gho!"

"Oh, taicho, but I was worried!" She chipped "You weren't showing up at the course and you stood there so lifeless! I thought you were dead!"

"Since when is suffocating someone a way to find out if they're dead or alive. And what the Hell am I supposed to do on your stupid course."

"So cold, taicho! It's not what you could be doing on the course that matters, it's what you can't do! Per instance, you can't do paperwork, and you can't be grumpy either."

"It's pointless, and I have better things to do. Paperwork can't wait, especially if you're doing it for two people, Matsumoto." He took his brush again.

"Taicho, the SWA course is anything but pointless. It's an educational experience and many men are coming. Even Yama-jii will be there! Why not come?"

"Paperwork." He stated shortly

"Everyone will fall back on paperwork. Big deal! Come along, taicho, it'll be stupid without you."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's pointless, and because the last thing I want to do on Saturday is watch a bunch of women talk about themselves while some men blush and look ridiculous."

"Taicho, this course will be for only the worst cases in Seiretei. There will be evaluation first. You're good at test, right? You'll just come along and show everyone how sophisticated you are."

"No."

"Very well…." Matsumoto sighed and sat down behind her desk "I might as well talk to a wall." She reached out to the nearest stack of paperwork and started writing something.

"What the…" Hitsugaya stared at her "What are you doing?"

"Well, you're not going, and the girls will deal with things just well without me. I might as well start working on my reports as well."

"WHAT? No, wait…" he paused "You can't just do paperwork."

"Why? That's what you tell me to do all the time anyway."

"But that's….you haven't done paperwork in centuries, Matsumoto. Leave it."

"No."

"Put the brush away, Matsumoto Rangiku, or else I will…"

"No."

"You will not do paperwork, not today!" Hitsugaya screamed so loud that dust fell from the ceiling.

"Why not?" she asked behind her luscious locks of hair.

"Because…because we're going on a course." He stated and without another word dragged her out through the door.

* * *

"Welcome, gentlemen…" Nanao said ten minutes later when the auditorium was full "Welcome to the first ever course about relationships and how to make things last for everyone."

The crowd, mostly captains and lieutenants, stared at her quietly, trying to look as small as possible in their seats and make sure nobody notices them.

"Now, as you all know, there has been an ongoing event that lasts for about as much time as the Earth is old, or the so called 'war between the sexes'. There have been many battles, fought with different weapons and on different stages, but one thing can be said for sure-that this war is mostly caused by misunderstanding and a lack of want to understand. So the SWA has decided to end this ridiculous event and the current course is for all of you willing to understand the opposite sex better and, perhaps, have a more successful relationship in the future." There was a loud snort in the back seats, probably from Zaraki. But he wasn't giving in that easily.

"Now…" Matsumoto stepped in, followed by Isane and Kiyone, carrying two large stacks of papers. "Since we don't want to take from the time of all of you, we have prepared a test that evaluates how much of a perv you are. There are points given for each answer, but we won't tell you what they mean until the end, so answer truthfully. This test is a personal experience, so it's pointless to cheat. You've got 20 minutes to fill It up and calculate your points, and then we'll tell you who should stay and who shouldn't."

The Kotetsu sisters started walking between the rows and give out the tests, while the men took out inkwells and brushes. The title of the test said: _"How much do you respect women aka. How much of a pervert you are."_ The format suggested that it was taken out of a magazine, and that some of the questions were changed or added later. Some of them were utterly ridiculous like _"Do you wash your socks frequently?"_ Or _"How do you feel about long walks on the beach?"._

Some, however, weren't so out of place. _"What is your idea of respect?", "What do you usually do to converse with a woman?" "Do you think that a woman's place is in the kitchen?"-_now those seemed very logical. There was that question _"Which part of a woman's body do you like best?"_ which was rather creepy.

"Time's up!" Matsumoto chipped and pulled out a sheet of paper "Did you guys calculate your results? Ok then. All with result over 70 points may leave. The rest, make yourselves comfortable, because the lecture is going to be a long one."

There was a thud, a barely suppressed curse, and many stupefied faces. Kuchiki Byakuya, however, beat them all-he fell out of his chair.

* * *


	5. Hell

Thank you all for your comments, you have given me so many wonderful ideas. I hope you're not disappointed by this chapter.

* * *

**Hell**

So the torture began and their first lesson turned out to be a health lecture from Unohana taicho and Isane, who took upon themselves not only to explain the basic physiological differences between men and women, but also to point out the different aspects of the effects they had on the male-female relationship.

"The world was designed to the men." Isane said "Why? Can anyone tell me? Although physically men are stronger it is scientifically proven that women take upon themselves the greater part of the noble process of reproduction. Sure, sex is very important and men sometimes really DO all the work, but a few brief hours can't compare to nine months of difficult pregnancy, in which women are subjected to real hell."

The men looked at each other dumbly and slowly Ichigo's hand rose from one of the front seats.

"Yes, Kurosaki-kun? Hey, I didn't see you come in!" Isane blinked curiously.

"Well….I wasn't given much choice." He said shyly. He wouldn't come here, really. He had better things to do on a Saturday morning (sleeping mostly), but after midget…ugh…Rukia had kindly explained the noble purpose of this course (threatened him that she'd show his father a bunch of girly mangas and tell him that he read them), he just couldn't miss it. "Um…I don't quite follow. You say that women should rule the world because men don't get pregnant?"

"We haven't gotten that far, Kurosaki-kun…" Unohana taicho came forward "But I guess that is very much to the point. May I compliment you on your excellent diction? I am rather surprised you didn't pass Matsumoto fukutaicho's test."

"Yeah, well…missed it by two points." He scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, that's not very grave. You can leave if you want."

"That's very kind of you, ma'am…" the look Rukia was giving him was telling it all (Hentai? Fine. Yuri. Even better. But shoujo mangas-your dad won't be pleased.) "I prefer to stay here and…enrich my knowledge of the fair gender."

"How very noble of you." Unohana hid a smile "But technically, pregnancy is a time where a number of unfamiliar reactions are triggered in a woman's body. It is similar tu puberty, in which a large amount of hormones stimulate the transformation of a child into an adult. The process is, as you all know, very grave, physically and mentally, and it takes place in many years. Now imagine this process happening in a mere nine months."

She paused so that her words may sink in. The men imagined what would be like if they turned into adults in nine months, with the hormonial outbursts and the wet dreams enhanced a hundred times, the changes in the body, the….those poor women!

"Now, the reason why men rule the world, as Isane said, is because they are given power to protect women at their difficult times."

* * *

Further explanation was not required. The men looked at their shoes until the end of the course, and then gathered in the nearest pub to recover their nerves.

"Man…." Kyoraku broke the grave silence. "It's like school all over again."

"I don't think our teachers used to mortify us like Retsu-san did." Ukitake sighed.

"I can't understand how we all got such low scores! I got 60 and I'm pretty sure I'm not a pervert. Certainly we all can't be…sick." Kira blushed, avoiding Kuchiki Byakuya's glance.

"Well, we don't acknowledge it openly, but I suppose everyone's got their dark side." Renji shrugged. "I got 69."

"I got 65." Ukitake smiled "Well, I suppose we just missed it by the thread, ne?"

"Not me." Zaraki shrugged "I never said I wasn't a perv anyway."

"Well, I can't understand how you couldn't pass it, Toushiro?" Ichigo looked at the 10th division captain "You're the boy genius here, aren't you? And you seem pretty young to be perverted."

"I lost on purpose." He shrugged.

"SAY WHAT?" Everyone stared at him. "How? You cheated?"

"Like all of you." He stared "Oh, come on! It's not like you guys didn't do everything in your power to get out of it. The test said 'How much of a pervert you are?', so you just had to pick out the answers that gave you the biggest or the smallest result."

There were mortified faces all over the table and Hitsugaya, although amused, decided to explain.

"It's all a matter of psychology. You think those guys who left weren't perverts? No way. They just picked the answers that would give them the highest score, not the lowest. I can bet you just scratched the answers that gave you least points without even reading them."

They said nothing, but they quickly pulled out their tests and examined them.

"Well, Shiro-chan, I guess you were right." Kyoraku laughed "I guess that since I like startling my Nanao-chan by grabbing her from behind I am a pervert."

"I guess you're right. I should've looked before I wrote that my girlfriend should look like some babe from a 'Playboy' magazine, though I don't know what it is." Mayuri mused.

"Hey, Byakuya, what did you get?" Kyoraku turned to his younger colleague, but the heir of the Kuchiki clan was wearing that frosty expression that practically killed every joy. Oh, Byakuya would drop dead than admit that his idea of quality time with his girlfriend was "SEXSEXSEX!!"

"See? From all of you, I bet only Ukitake, Kurosaki, Zaraki and Abarai answered honestly."

"But Shiro, why did you fail it on purpose?" Kyraku grinned "You want to please Ran-chan, right?"

"She was doing PAPERWORK, Kyoraku." Hitsugaya stated coldly.

"She is? Oh my…."

"Ok, but what are we going to do?" Renji asked "One more day of this torture and I'll die!"

"We are already enrolled. We cannot get out of it." Byakuya sighed

"Oh well…perhaps there may be some compromise…or a likely solution." Yamamoto said and smiled under a moustache.

* * *

Next Saturday came, and Matsumoto was on:

"Today's lesson: Damsel in distress. As you all know, the best way to approach a lady is the good old fashion 'Prince Charming on a white horse and the Damsel in distress'. Now, I'm not saying you should order it, but there are things that can make a girl feel really special, such as a polite manner of speaking and giving her a hand. Now, let's have some field practice, gentlemen."

They went out in the training grounds and first Isane and Kiyone drew some lines with chalk on the ground. It looked like a racing track. Meanwhile, Matsumoto was explaining.

"First we'll play the famous and well known scene from 'Sense and sensibility', by Jane Austen. Now, I know most of you haven't heard about it, and I'll explain. The heroine is on the ground with a sprained ankle and you rush out to help her. You must speak politely to her and then carry her in your arms all the way to her house, in our case-the line over there."

They looked at each other in horror and prayed silently that nobody saw them. But then Kyoraku beamed, and a grin spread all around his face.

* * *

A/N-Sorry if it's hurried.


	6. Ignorence is bliss

* * *

**Ignorance is bliss**

"If this is supposed to be hard for me, it's not working!"

"Now, now, Zaraki taicho, the language, the language!" Matsumoto exclaimed as she approached Zaraki and Unohana. "You saw how well Kira fukutaicho with my guidance, follow his lead."

"Damn woman. When the hell would anybody be in a situation like this, huh?"

"Scared, Zaraki taicho?" Unohana asked slyly.

"Gimme that leg!"

Now there was a sight to behold. Lying in a straight line on the ground were the tutors of the SWA and some students, where there hadn't been enough women to partner. Kneeling next to them were the miserable captains and lieutenants of Gotei 13 who were experiencing the biggest public humiliation since that time when Yachiro "accidentally" painted all the captain's robes in pink. Everybody except Kyoraku taicho were suffering until that spell wore out, and right now the situation wasn't very different.

"So, Nanao-chan…" he smiled at his stern fukutaicho as his hand glided up her leg under the pretext to remove the hakama leg "…After this lesson, how about we go to the little pub nearby and…"

SLAP! A fan landed on top of his head, but this time it wasn't Nanao's, it was Matsumoto's.

"No, no, Shunsui-taicho. Remember our tutoring."

"But Ran-san, I was just improvising."

"Just focus a little here! You're in the mud, in the middle of a storm, not a drizzle, but a STORM. Even if she's not out of her skin with pain, right now she needs a warm, comfortable bed and a mug of hot chocolate. The last thing on her mind would be flirting, and since you are a GENTLEMAN, even if you feel like there is a piece of hot iron between your legs, you MUSTN'T FLIRT!"

* * *

On a few meters away from them Ichigo was trying to be a gentleman.

"Let me see that leg."

"No."

"Come on, you're in pain, let me check if it's broken."

"No!"

"GODDAMIT, MIDGET, you're the one that wanted me to be on that course, so give me that stupid leg!"

"You're supposed to say please." Rukia crossed her arms "That's how it works."

"Midget, will you PLEASE allow me to see if your leg is broken."

"Call me goddess divine."

"Don't push it!"

* * *

"Easy there, Ikkaku, remember, I am a beautiful maiden in distress."

"It's called damsel in distress and I won't call you beautiful even if my life depended on it!"

"How rude. I wonder how the heck you managed to have a good luck with the ladies if you're such a brute."

"You're the one talking. I thought using 'heck' wasn't beautiful at all. Anyway, I'm surprised that you flunked the test."

"I did not 'flunk' anything. In fact I did so well that I've been assigned tutor."

"SAY WHAT!"

* * *

"Matsumoto fukutaicho…" Byakuya's voice was nearly failing him "Is this really necessary."

"Well, Mr. 0 points, actually it is. Since you understand women so little, it's only natural for you to learn."

"I don't mind learning, but is this position…" Byakuya glanced at Renji who was holding his leg like a horse's hoof that is about to have a new shoe put on

"Look, if you can't understand women, it's only fair that you first experience what they experience."

"Yes, but…"

"While we're arguing, Ukitake taicho is almost halfway to the finish line with Isane. You're just wasting your time."

* * *

Ukitake placed Isane down gently, while acting captain Hisagi was finishing examining her sister. He looked over to Mayuri taicho, who was throwing his daughter over his shoulder as casually as he'd put on a shirt.

"Finis." Mayuri stated when he put Nemu down with anything but gentility.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho…" Ukitake began "I don't really think that was the point of the exercise."

"What ever! It's not like Nemu is sensible to such nonsense. She's got no feelings."

"Now that's just plain silly, you can't just say that…"

"Look, I've designed her. I think I know better than anyone what's in her system or not. She's not designed to feel…at least that sort of things." He grinned rather sadistically, which made Ukitake shudder. Honestly, what was it with this guy? That was his own daughter there, and he treated her like some piece of trash. One of these days, somebody was going to give him a serious whooping for that attitude of his, and as long as it came to him, Jushiro wouldn't do a damn thing.

"Kurotsuchi-san, are you alright?" Jushiro asked gently as he knelt next to Nemu. She just looked up at him curiously and nodded.

"I am fine. I just expect that Matsumoto fukutaicho will give us a new assignment, or make us repeat this one. You re not doing well."

"Really? Well, I thought that…"

"No, I didn't mean it like that. You personally did quite well, but most of the other captains and lieutenants aren't and I expect that Matsumoto fukutaicho would like to make things better."

"Ah, that is right…" Jushiro trailed off as he watched the others. Somewhere in the distance, Yumichika and Ikkaku were trying to work, but the heat had gotten into the baldie's head. When he fainted from exhaustion, Matsumoto quickly called it quits and made them go under the shades to relax and drink some cold water. As everybody obliged as fast as possible, Jushiro offered Nemu a hand.

"Come." He said, smiling down at her "Let's go inside, there will be no more training for now."

Nemu hesitated, facing this unfamiliar gesture. No man had ever spoken to her so warmly, nor offered her assistance to get up. Most men in Gotei 13 were aware that she was more powerful than the average woman (20 average women), and knew that no matter how hard the injury was, she could get up and about in mere minutes. Her comrades from the SWA were showing her kindness, but the closest thing to affection was a pat on the head or a hug. However, she didn't think it was something wrong-even in his best mood, her father hardly showed affection. She thought it normal. So why did Ukitake-taicho…

Nemu blinked, as Jushiro picked her up and carried her under the lean-to, then put her down on a bench. Without a word, he fetched two bottles of cold water for them and made Nemu swallow most of it, then put the still cold bottle on her forehead. The 12th division lieutenant observed his movements with bewilderment, but waited until he sat down and his body temperature normalized to talk (it wasn't good to stress him in his condition):

"Ukitake-taicho, why did you do that for?"

"What? Oh, carrying you…I thought that you got sick from that sun and that you couldn't move. Are you feeling better? Do you need some more water? Dehydration isn't good, you know."

"I do not understand." Nemu blinked "I cannot get a headache, and I cannot get dehydrated against my own will. Why did you do that?"

"You were ok?" he looked at her suspiciously.

"Of course!" A strange feeling bubbled up in her chest. She couldn't get hurt from a little sun, he knew it, so why play dumb? Strangely, she felt discontent…and even more. Why? And…did she just think she FELT? But her father had stated not five minutes ago that this was impossible, that she was not built to feel.

No…he had said that she was built to feel only some emotions. What emotions? Pain? Yes. Perhaps he had meant that she had senses like every other living being, but that she couldn't experience content from the courtesy of another. Was that possible? She hadn't felt anything during the exercise, but that was normal, Mayuri-sama knew he didn't have to treat her with gentility-she was too strong to break or suffer from what most women suffered. And yet…and yet just now, when Ukitake taicho had brought her to the cool, and when she understood that he had been worried about her, something happened to her. Her throat was suddenly swollen, and she felt like her heart was filled with warm light. Was this…content? Or perhaps…it was something more?

* * *

Hitsugaya carried Hinamori inside too, as he had been in the middle of his 'examination' when Matsumoto had called it quits. There was a hardly visible scowl on his face, as his childhood friend explained to him all the aspects of his mistakes 'just to help him'. It was ridiculous. What did being a gentleman have to do with some stupid novel. Oh, right, Jane Austen was considered to be one of the most romantic authors! Nanao knew 'Pride and Prejudice' by heart, and Matsumoto had watched every screen version of every book, but they probably didn't know that 'romantic' was actually a word for a group of European languages.

"And furthermore…" his ears picked up the ending of Hinamori's speech, which so far he had managed to block out.

"TAICHOOO!" Matsumoto chipped happily as she made her way to her captain, waving a fan around. "Can I ask a favor?"

"What is it, Matsumoto?" he asked warily, as he disposed Hinamori on a chair, but on the inside, he was just glad somebody was coming to his rescue.

"Ne, taicho, can you please cool down some water for us? Pretty please?" her puppy eyes destroyed Hitsugaya's pout in seconds and he just sighed, as he made his way to the watering spot. Matsumoto was irresponsible and too loud sometimes, but she was a lifesaver sometimes…and he wouldn't have her any other way. He missed, however, the look Hinamori gave her. Otherwise, he'd be surprised to see so much venom in his childhood friend.

* * *

A/N-Sooo sorry it took so long, guys. I have to warn you that other than the announced, there will be some pretty ckracky pairings here, so don't throw rocks at me, ok. I was in Londin this last week and I have to say it was wonderful, only...is it a custom there to throw eggs at the passengers?


	7. Calls

* * *

**Calls**

It was 9 o'clock in the morning and the 10th division was already cursing their ill luck. Their captain had come back from his little Saturday course with a bad temper and a sore foot, so right on the next morning he assembled his troops and gave them such a work-out they wouldn't be feeling their legs for the next few days. Hitsugaya was observing the training with one eye, and the rest of his mind was concentrated on Matsumoto, who was his fighting partner.

His captain's haoiri was thrown aside and his shihakusho was a mess. Matsumoto's hair was disheveled and her scarf had seen better days. But as they were about to unseal their zanpakutos, a merry voice called from the door of the training grounds:

"SHIRO-CHAAN!

Hitsugaya winced and turned to Hinamori with an exhausted expression. The fukutaicho of the 5th division was coming down the path with some of her subordinates. She was smiling and waving, and it became very clear that the training session was no longer possible.

"Shiro-chan, I'm so glad I found you. I looked in the office, but it was empty and I was worried…" she gave Matsumoto a bitter look, something between irritation and anger. When Rangiku took the hint and walked away, she turned smiling again at her childhood friend "Ne, Shiro-chan, can we please talk?"

"Sure. Talk." He turned his back on everybody to straighten up, then sheathed his sword, before looking at Hinamori again.

"In private, please." She gave the clearing a suspicious look, as if the bushes and trees hid some sort of eavesdropping devices. Hitsugaya nodded in direction of the barracks. He lead her through the hallways to his office and opened a shoji door for her. It led to a covered terrace, which opened to the main street. Bright sunlight poured though the big windows and threw dancing shadows on the tatami. There was a scroll hanging from the wall and a small table was placed in the middle of the improvised room.

"Wow." Momo exclaimed "You never showed me THIS room, Shiro-chan. It looks like a lovely place to have a tea ceremony."

"It's where I discuss the important matters. There is a kido spell done on the walls so that nobody will listen." He turned to her "I never really thought about having a tea ceremony here."

"Well, it's a lot better than your quarters here." She turned to him with a smile "I'm glad you showed it to me, Shiro-chan. It looks like a great place to take refuge from…daily cares."

"Refuge, maybe, but if you wanted to talk to me about something in private I suppose it must be important. And by the way, I would appreciate it if you called me Hitsugaya-taicho, Hinamori."

"Oh, but Shiro-chan, you just look as cute as ever, you can't just expect me to turn so formal on you, especially since we know each other since we were infants."

"It's not about how long have we known each other, it's about authority. It doesn't matter how well one does, people won't be taking you seriously if you're being called pet names."

"Don't put this one on me, you're the one that looks like a kid." Hinamori crossed her arms. Hitsugaya sighed-this was a side of his friend of what he saw very little, and it was a side he didn't like. What Momo wants, Momo gets, and if she wanted to call him names she'd have it that way….just because they lived in the same shag and shared everything until SOMEBODY decided to enter the Shinigami academy and turn their backs on the past.

* * *

He sighed. Ok, Toushiro, whatever happens, do NOT snap at her. It would only make matters worse and she doesn't deserve to have you lash out on her.

"_As if!" _Hyorinmaru snorted, somewhere into his mind _"That little hussy needs to know her place. Who the hell is she to be telling you what to do?"_

"She's Momo." Hitsugaya answered.

"_WRONG! Major W-R-O-N-G! She's Hinamori Momo, fukutaicho of the 5__th__ division, a girl who lashed out on YOU and almost threw herself to the dark side. Did I mention she's as dumb as a tree?" _

"Hyorinmaru! Be quiet!" He yelled mentally "I absolutely forbid you to talk about her in such terms. Even if you don't like her, she's a fellow shinigami, who wields a zanpakuto…"

"_A blind, deaf and mute one too. Toubime could've done a lot better than Momo, but I guess she likes to be ordered around, just like her wielder."_

"Quiet. She deserves…"

"_She deserves nothing but a good spanking from you. Open your eyes, Hitsugaya. SHE turned her back on YOU. She's ashamed of her background, her past. She did her best to hide that she had come from Rukongai, and she didn't acknowledge your existence up until you became captain, and THEN you were her little 'Shiro-chan' again. For Christ's sake, she raised a sword against you, YOU of all people, because of what? A letter she didn't even bother to check. And now that Aizen is dead she's just pretending nothing happened!"_

"You judge her too harshly."

"_Do I now? And pray what was she doing yesterday on that course? Exposing herself enough to say she wasn't insulting you, but just about enough to make you blush like crazy!"_

"It was just a bra strap, for God's sake!"

"_But enough to make you lash out on the guys in the division, right? Shame on you! If there should be anyone to seduce you like this, it should be Matsumoto! At least SHE'S not afraid of her background and she has something to show."_

"THAT'S ENOUGH! Shut up there and let me handle this!"

* * *

He turned to Momo, who was seating herself in front of the desk.

"Listen here, I'm sure it's fun to you, but I bet you wouldn't like it if I called you Bed wetter Momo in front of YOUR troops, right?"

"That's not fair, Toushiro, you know it isn't!" she pouted. He just sighed and sat down on the other side of the table, placing his hands in front of him and looking at her. There was silence, interrupted from the sounds from the street. A little cloud of dust raised when a cart trotted by, bringing the stuffiness of the summer day and the smell of horses into the room.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, tired of her little game of hints. "Is it important?"

"Very." Momo nodded, a mysterious smile on her face. "Do you know the three ways to become captain of the Gotei 13?" she asked

"Of course. One is to take the _taishushiken, _which includes perfomring bankai, and at least three captains, including the Sou-taicho must witness it. The second is to have personal recommandation from six captains and the approval of at least three of the ramining seven. The third…" and most omnious "…is to defeat the previous captain of the division." He looked at her "Why?"

"Well, I plan to become captain of my division." She smiled brightly at him. He just stared at her. "Um, this is the place where you say something. I am serious, Shiro-chan."

"Oh, yeah, I know. Well…I suppose congradulations are in order. You did well, Hinamori. Achieving bankai finally is…great!" he shook hands with her.

"Um, thanks, but I haven't yet…" she giggled. "I want to become captain the second way."

"Oh." Was all he had to say. "And?"

"Listen, Shiro, this is very important to me." She said "And…it would mean a lot to me if you were amongst those who recommend me. Not support, but recommend."

"Oh." Again, not very original. "Well, I don't know, Momo. Being a taicho is a very hard task. It requires a lot-you must not only be good at paperwork, but also know your subordinates, feel what they feel and understand what they need. It's nothing like…" he was about to say 'like Aizen did things', but he knew it was a bad idea "Anyway, why did you decide that all of the sudden. It's been six months since the end of the Winter War."

"Shiro, my division is falling apart, and I don't think that being just a fukutaicho. And you are very popular. I'm sure that captains Ukitake and Kyoraku would follow your example and recommend me. I already have plans to persuade three more captains to do the same, and I'm sure there will be three more that would support me. But I need to know first if you would do this enormous favor for me…and I will be sure to pay you back."

"_YEAH RIGHT! DO NOT LISTEN TO HER DAMNIT! SHE'S TRYING TO BRIBE YOU INTO DOING SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET EVER AFTER! DON'T YOU SEE IT? SHE'S PROBABLY GOING TO…"_

Hitsugaya silence the ice dragon with a well aimed reiatsu burst. It was hard enough-he could see for himself what Momo wanted, and he was sorry because Hyorinmaru was right-she was using him. And yet she was a good girl, she didn't deserve harshness. She was just confused…

"Momo, look, it's complicated. I have to look some things up and make cross-references. I'll give it a thought, ok?"

"Shiro, please!" she begged, her arms clutcing his wrist. Her big eyes were suddenly watery and her lips parted in a sensual way "Please. I can persuade you, can't I? Please, will you just let me tell you everything I feel and…"

Hitsugaya didn't listen. His body froze, his face was on fire and his mind was racing. He couldn't think of anything to do, the boy genious was completely useless. He panicked.

"Momo, look…" he searched some proper words, but nothing came. Momol eaned forward and then….

"TAICHO!" Matsumoto ran in the office "TAICHO, come quickly! WHERE ARE YOU, TAICHOOOO!" she opened the door to the terrace and grabbed the door frame. She barely gave them a second look, and sighed "Taicho, there is something you must see to immediately. I think…I think that Zaraki taicho and Ichigo started a fight again, it's very close to the barracks, their reiatsus are shaking the buildings…"

"Yes, right." He got up and ran out in a hurry, followed by a confused Momo. Matsumoto leaned on the wall, pretending to catch her breath, then sighed.

"I'd never thought I'd say this, but it was a perfect timing, Zaraki-taicho. Right, Haineko?"

A small cloud of dust raised itself from the floor and purred in areement, before turning back into her zanpakuto. Matsumoto ran out to help stop the fight.

* * *

"Have you lost your marbles, Rangiku?!"

Matsumoto winced at her best friend's outbirst. She had decided to tell Nanao about her captain's little visitor that day, and only Nanao, because she…she just knew what to keep a secret and what to bring out into the light.

They were sitting in Nanao's study. The table was clear of papers and books, there were too glasses and a jug of sake. Nanao's wasn't touched at all, of course, but Matsumoto was strating to consume worrying amounts of the alcohol.

"Nanao, I was just worried."

"That is not an excuse to use your zanpakuto's shikai to eavesdrop on your captain's conversations! And you made Zaraki taicho and Kurosaki-san fight just to create an excuse for him to get away from Hinamori-san!"

"Hey, I did not make Zaraki and Ichigo fight! I just sent a small pulse to make them notice each other. C'mon, Nanao, having these two in the same dimension is a recipe for disaster-they were bound to strart a fight sooner or later."

"And you thought sooner was better than later?"

"Yes!"

"Rangiku, just how badly were your barracks damaged by the reiatsu flares?"

"But it was for a good cause! Nanao, you should've heard him-he was desperate. I mean she was going to chew him to bits. Literally!"

"When somebody puts spells on the walls of some room, Matsumoto, he doesn't want his private conversations to be heard."

"Well he should've put spells on the windows too, because even if I stood under them I'd have gotten a pretty good idea of what was going on there."

"Still, you just…forget it, it's useless." Nanao sighed "But if you really feel that way, why don't you just tell him."

"Tell him what?"

Nanao rolled her eyes:

"Come on, Rangiku, don't tell me you eavesdrop like this on all our captains. Just admit that you are in love with him."

"Why don't you shout it out louder, Nanao, I think that in district 80 they still haven't heard you." Matsumoto gave her a sour look.

"Come on, you're the big expert on love. You always tell us to be straightforward, why are you hold back?"

"And you're asking me? You, who made Ukitake taicho persuade Shunsui to go to the courses just because you want him to tell you he loves you the way you want him to."

"Fine, women are cowards in love." She sighed "But honestly, I don't want him to change, I just…I just want him to be serious about it. You know…he's the most kind and caring person I've ever know but he's just not serious."

"Are you kidding me? You GREW UP in the 8th. You've known Kyoraku taicho for longer than any female member of this squad. How can you tell me that you can't tell when he's serious or not."

Nanao just glared at her.

"I don't know! Really, I don't. He says he loves me, yet he does nothing to convince me of it! He's just so childish and…and I'm afraid. Yes, I am so afraid that if I let myself in I'll become another plume for his hat. A fancy and rare plume that he'll show off with until I don't take it anymore. I'm afraid that if I give him my heart, he'll toy with it and accidentally break it. Because he means no harm, never. He just doesn't realize what he's doing."

The two women nodded in agreement, but while they were too busy thinking about impossible romances, they failed to notice a whirl of pink that passed by the door.

* * *

A/N-I'm repeating myself, but the second part was hurried indeed. It's late and I'm tired and...yawns I better stop writing cause I'll drop. But oh well, hope you liked this chappie. Oh, and if anyone's interested, see Bleach II: Arrancar, a story I'm writing with TheArchon and Kristine93-it's on my profile and I'll be grateful for all the reviews you leave there. So...bye bye, and goodnight.


	8. Question of perspective

**WARNING: This fic has CRACK PAIRINGS in it! Proceed with caution!**

**No really, it's going to get crazy out here.**

Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

**Question of perspective**

There was a tap on the door, as quiet as a sigh. Ukitake taicho raised his head from his papers and called: "Enter". Kurotsuchi Nemu came in, with a big stack of papers in her hands.

"The reports from our divisions' work on mission AK3000. They must be sighned and stamped by you in the next 3 days, before handed to the records."

"Thank you, Kurotsuchi-san." He smiled as he helped her dispose them on his desk. He noticed they were carefully arranged into groups by importance, all written in Nemu's neat and even handwriting. Those were reports of a campaign the 12th and the 13th had undetaken against a big group of arrancars.

"You finished those reports rather quickly." He noticed

"On the contrare. I was very late."

"We were showered with paperwork since the end of the war, don't blame yourself." Ukitake sighed, as his memories of that time came back to his head. The screams, the pressure, the fear-he always had to keep an eye out of his subordinates, to make sure they were alright. Miraculously, that particular fight went without casualties on their side, and he was glad of it-he wouldn't bear another Shiba case. "I will get on those right away, Kurotsuchi-san. Thank you for giving this some of your time."

"There is no need to thank me. I only did what was expected of me."

Ukitake bit his lip as a particular image from that battle came to his mind-Mayuri taicho, advancind through the lines, using Nemu as a living shield. The poor girl took on herself the blows, and no matter how painful of liethal they were, she kept on, because she had to protect her father. That had been her objective.

Yes, everything about her had been objectives. She was entirely dependant on her father's wishes and caprices, on his mood changes and his needs. Where were her needs? It seemed as if living was an objective to her, it was serving, but had nothing to do with feelings of experiences.

He looked up at her. Hands clasped in front of her, back-straight, hair and composure-always perfect and indifferent. She was too perfect, too proper. Like a wax statue. He would have loved to see her write those reports, to look into her eyes and let them tell him if she didn't feel anything by remembering from that fight. Like many, Ukitake had been fascinated at first by the things Nemu did, her unlimited intelect and power, but sometimes he had an unexpecet urge to reach out and ruffle that hair of hers to make sure she was a real human being.

"Are you alright, Kurotsuchi-san?" he asked, carefully setting his papers aside "Would you like to sit down and have a cup of tea with me?"

"Mayuri-sama would be waiting for me…" she began, but Ukitake had already called Kiyone and asked her for some green tea.

"Sit down, you must be tired. Kurotsuchi taicho won't mind if you take a cup of tea with me, and if he does, I will speak to him. Don't worry."

Reluctantly, she took a seat and accepted the cup of tea offered to her. They took small sips and looked around the room…ok, Ukitake looked, Nemu stared right in front of her. Making HIM uncomfortable, of course. He had to find something to say.

"Um…how do you feel? I hope the sun didn't effect you."

"No." she gave him a puzzled look "I already told you I cannot be affected by the strong dosage of gamma rays from the sun. You mustn't worry."

"Well…"

* * *

Nemu was confused. He invited her to sit and have a cup of tea with him, but he didn't express a desire to talk about anything. That seemed pointless. She was told that wasting time was unacceptable Was this what people called 'small talk'? Or perhaps Ukitake taicho wanted to talk to her about something important but just couldn't bring himself to?

During her latest visit to the viling world, she had visited a human bookstore and while going through the different books, found something called "Social life for absolute beginners". It seemed rather pointless, because all it offered were tips how to talk to different sorts of people, mostly guys. Matsumoto fukutaicho, Nanao fukutaicho and other members of the SWA encouraged her to explore more of her emotional side (even though Mayuri-sama denied its existance), so she had decided to buy it and see what it had to say. She had no equal when it came to being her father's assistant, but she was ignorant in many concepts.

She couldn't understand a lot from the book, but learned a thing or two. There was a passage that said: "Uncomfortable silences are often the first signs that the conversation is failing, thus you must avoid them at all cost. Measure your words, but never allow the silence to last long. If the person you're speaking to seems uneasy or bothered, he/she probably wants to talk to you about something, but doesn't know how to pick up the subject. At times like this the best you can do is make some remark on an interesting object in your surrounding enviroment-say a picture, or some souvenier. That will give you something to talk to and will put your partner at ease, giving him/her time to pick up the subject he wants to talk to you about."

Nemu looked around the room, and then her eyes locked on something. On the left side of Ukitake taicho's desk was a small wooden box, filled with various objects-a four-leaved clover, a horseshoe, a bunch of weird potions poured in colorful bottlesand something that suspiciously reminded of a monkey's paw. Good subject, she thought.

"What are those?" she asked, while pointing at the box. Ukitake looked at them and laughed warmly.

"Oh, those…" he cleared his desk, took the box and arranged its contenance in front of him so that Nemu can get a better look at it "My third seats seem to have gotten the idea that since modern medicine can't help me, perhaps traditional cures or good-luck charms can do better. They've been bying those from the living word and they want to see who's going to give me the most. Personally, I think they've been ripped off, most of those liquids are vanilla essence and water."

Nemu took one of the bottles carefully, opened it and poured a few drops on her hand. She carefully sniffed-it smelled of roses. She looked at the small label on the back-it said apply gently behind the ears, so she did the same. Nothing happened.

"It's perfume, I suppose." Ukitake sighed "I'm afraid Kiyone and Sentaro don't understand the whole male-female concept of the usage of those things."

"Are you sure? Perhaps some humans have some prowless in kido or a high reiatsu, like Kurosaki-san. Have you tried any of those?"

"Kurotsuchi-san…I understand they're doing this out of good heart, but no. I gave some of those things a go, but the only thing I really carry around a lot is this…" he pulled out a small chain that hung around his neck, and on it hung a small circle, in which was knitted a sorf of spiderweb, and there were some feathers hanging from it.

Nemu gave it a curious look and leaned forward to give it a better look. Her nose almost touched his chest, and he felt the powerful scent of rose oil punchi his nose. Surprisingly, it suited her a lot better than it suited him.

"What is the purpose of this contraption-the structure is unfamiliar to me…" she turned her head a few times to observe it in all angles.

"It's a dream catcher-an invention of the Amrican Indians." Ukitake said "Or at least a miniature copy of it-the old woman that sold it to Kiyone said it was supposed to be portable. Another fraud, but it's kept my memories from the war away from my dreams, I suppose. The net is to capture all your nightmares so that they won't bother you, and the feathers are to attract good dreams."

"It seems very simple. You say it worked?"

"I don't remember the battles I fought in my dreams, at least. I have enough of those while I'm concious." There was sadness in his voice. "But I don't believe those magical items, Kurotsuchi-san. I've had enough of miraculous cures and revolutionary treatments. I'm tired."

"I cannot understand how can anyone be tired of fighting." She pulled back. Her poisture was still imeccable, but there was some gleam in her eyes that told him there was more. "One cannot go anywhere if he doesn't fight. I have no will to live because this world is an unpleasant place, but I fight on because I am needed. You fight all the time to protect those of whom you care for. What is the point on giving up the fight for life, if you want to protect people?"

His jaw hung loose. Then he said:

"If you could wish for something, anything at all, what would that be?"

"That Mayuri-sama gave me feelings."

"Why?"

"I do not know." She bowed her head "He says it's a worthless quality of the human species, to feel. He finds the course the SWA are holding pointless, because only weak-minded and ignorant people fall in love. He believes that the whole concept of love is wrong and that sex itself is sufficient to continue the human race without some lousy emotion to mess with you."

"Kurotsuchi taicho makes love look like some occupation to fill your time." He looked at her "And what do you think?"

"That even though it's not good for a scientist mind, I would like to experience it just once."

There was silence. Then she got up.

"Thank you for the tea, Ukitake taicho, but if there isn't anything else you'd like to discuss with me, or tell me, I must go. Mayuri-sama will be most definitely displeased if I am late."

"Oh, yes, of course." He nodded "Thank you again for those reports, Kurotsuchi-san."

She bowed and left the room. Ukitake looked after her for a long while, and then started to gather up the items from his desk. The conversation was going on and on in his head and he noticed that they had said nothing of great significance to each other. The rose oil had suited her, though. Maybe he could give her some for her birthday. But it would be useless-that Mayuri probably didn't let her keep anything that was of no practical use. Bastard! And the poor girl didn't even think against him.

"I wish that Kurotsuchi-taicho would fall in love." He said out loud "Then I'd like to see him preach about useless emotions and love being for ignorant people."

Unknown to him, the paw trembled a little before standing still again.

* * *

In his laboratory, Kurotsuchi-taicho was wondering where Nemu was, while going over some of his notes on old potions. Suddenly he stopped on a page of his journal-the entry was dated around 99 years back-a little before he had decided to create Nemu. There was a complicated formula written there, but for some reason the rest of the page, where he had written what the formula was FOR, was torn off.

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully-he usually didn't do such things. The formula was written in blue ink, so it wasn't a poisonous, toxic or explosive substance. So what was it? Could it be a failed experiment? No, that wasn't like him. Oh, it had been too long ago, too many experiments and results ago. His memory wasn't what had made him famous 130 years ago. He was forgetting old things, things he never came to use again. And what if this was something important, something he had decided to take advantage of, but had put aside and never forgotten. He looked on the other page-no, there were his primary scetches for Nemu.

Mayuri gritted his teeth. His daughter was still out, and it wasn't likely that this was in her extra memory. Well then, there was only one thing that he could do. He rolled his sleeves up and prepared the biles.

* * *

Kyoraku Shunsui was a happy man. And in true Kyoraku Shunsui style, he was celebrating his happiness with a bottle of sake under his favorite sakura tree. His Nanao-chan wouldn't be too happy, but it was a special occasion.

Nanao-chan…HIS Nanao-chan. Now he could call her like that and he'd have the full right to, because she did love him! Of course, he hadn't doubted her for even a second, from the moment she had started hitting him on the head with her fan he had known that she would be only his-but HEARING her acknowledge that she loved him was something…

Ok, so she didn't say directly "I love Kyoraku Shunsui", but she had acknowledged that women were fools and love and that he was…he didn't know what to do…Hm…

The sake cup he was raising towards his mouth hesitated and stopped in mid-air, as he was thinking over that little conversation he had overheard. She was afraid of telling him how she felt. Why? Because she couldn't trust him her love…because she couldn't trust him. Ok then, shouldn't you do something about this, his mind asked him.

"Yes…" he thought "Drinking sake here won't get me any closer to Nanao-chan. And besides, we can't continue like this. Not after that she's gone through so much trouble. But how…" he trailed off, watching the summer leafs of the tree.

* * *

The biles were fuming and boiling, the smell was heavy and rotten, but Mayuri hardlypaid attention. He picked up the ready product and rubbed his chin. The ingrediants were dosed perfectly and he had done the rest of the procedures right, but he never thought the substance should be….bubbly and pink.

After re-constructing the formula and working on it, he had succeeded in making a dose of if, but he still couldn't remember what it was. He rubbed his chin-it wasn't toxic or poisonous or explosive, so…what could it do. Nemu was nowhere in sight, so that he could test it on her. Oh well…science calls for sacrifices.

He swallowed it.

And then waited.

And waited…

And waited…

Great. Nothing happened. Mayuri tossed the biles in the sink and labled the formula as unsuccessful, before going out-he needed a bite to eat.

He left the 12th division to go to his favorite restaurant down the street-he preferred to stay close to the lab to keep an eye on the subjects, but their chef made great noodles, and after an unsuccessful experiment, he always needed to treat himself. Mayuri passed a group of shinigami coming back from a drill in the living world, led by Soi Fong taicho. They blew over, exchanging court nods as greeting, and then…

Mayuri froze, choking on his own spit. His body became immobile, it became icy cold, then-hot like burning coal, then cold again…His lungs and heart didn't function normally, the blood ran cold in his veins, he couldn't focus his attention on anything as different parts of his body suddenly got a life of their own.

Everything passed in mere seconds, leaving him panting and exhausted.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho?!" some fool from his division called "Kurotsuchi-taicho, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine! Get away from me!" he roared angrily, shaking the idiot off and turning back to look at the passing group. They hadn't noticed his sudden attack, and there was nothing that could've caused it, so why the hell was he going red under his mask?

Suddenly, the realization hit him and this time, he had the feeling that he would surely die. Forgetting all about the noodles, he ran back to his division as fast as dignity could allow him. Oh, the experiment had been successful alright. He had just chosen the wrong subject.

He had invented a goddamn love potion.

* * *

A/N-Thanks for the reviews everyone.


	9. Tears and soap operas

* * *

**Tears and soap operas**

CURSES! Cursescursescurses, a thousand times curses! Mayuri paced around his quarters, did push-ups, paced again, did pull-ups, ran around his division, practiced zan-do in the small clearing given to the 12th (which no-one actually used since everyone were stuck in the labs), took a cold shower and (surprise, surprise) paced around again. The exercise didn't seem to get the love serum out of his system, but it cooled him down enough to think straight.

Now that the symptoms hit him, he remembered very well that formula. He had theorized that since love was a strong attachment to someone, then a love potion should enhance the feelings of sympathy someone has to someone else. In short, it made you fall in love with a person you liked, a person with whom you were friends, or in his case-a person closest to his preferences that happened to be on the same street as him.

His brain split into two parts. One, the scientist, was calmly calculating and evaluating the pluses and minuses of the situation. The other, the man, which had been rather neglected these 100 years or so, was panicking.

So his theory proved right. He had to make a record of it. He had to copy the formula into his personal files, the ones that no-one could see, label it, describe its effects carefully and make a sample of it to carry around in case he found a good opportunity to use it. But most importantly, his panicked part decided, WAS TO INVENT AN ANTIDOTE FAST!

But there was no antidote, Mayuri thought sourly as he remembered why he had invented this formula. He designed it so that even that bastard Urahara Kisuke couldn't reverse its effects. Thankfully, the batch hadn't been a big one, so he couldn't get into TOO much trouble…he was only going to feel more attached to Soi Fong taicho, he may get arrhythmia and the occasional…HE WAS GODDAMN IN LOVE WITH HER!

With an annoyed sigh the mad scientist shut his panicking side away and tried to think in peace. It was remarkable, however, the way his preferences had changed over the years. He hadn't even thought that he found captain Soi Fong attractive before this sudden attack, given that he had invented this potion for a totally different person. However, he hadn't thought that he would be the one falling in love.

Despite what people thought, Mayuri had gone to the Academy. Not that he was clueless about the whole reproduction thing, he just though everything was said and done in that department and that it didn't deserve his attention. There had been, occasionally, the girl who lost a bet, broke up with a dumb boyfriend or was 'just curious' how it would be like with a sickout like him. And Kurotsuchi Mayuri may not care about what people thought about him, but he had pride, and he had made sure that no woman that dared come close to him think he was not a good lover. Some had to wear scarves to hide the bruises on their necks, some came up with drills gone bad to justify the halting, and he had remained the weirdo, but in the end of his school days women looked at him with fearful awe-just as he had predicted.

Some of them had actually fallen in love with him, but to their great disappointment Mayuri wasn't the type interested in long term relationships, especially if they interfered with his scientific career. He wouldn't even need a love potion, if it wasn't for HER stupid refusal. Yes, Mayuri didn't give a damn about love, but he had enough pride to give Kuchiki Byakuya a run for his money.

He thought about his discovery again and wondered about the millions of ways he could use it for his benefit. There were people in Seiretei that would sell their old grandmothers for some love, but the potion was no good if the people they wanted to get in love with didn't like them at lest. Although it may have some effect on Kyoraku's bookworm, it wouldn't be a good idea if people looked for refunds. And distributing it in the shadows wouldn't do either, if he didn't have an antidote.

And speaking of antidotes…he HAD to find a way to deal with his own little problem, Aka his damn crush on Soi Fong taicho. As long as he avoided catching sight of her and kept her out of his mind, he should be alright…But again, why her? Why did he suddenly fall for HER of all people? Sure, she had a great body, very agile and flexible, and pretty skin, and silky hair, and eyes that shun like diamonds in…

He slapped himself with all his might. Focus, Mayuri, do not think about her! At this rate he'd have to go to the captain's meetings with ice in his pants. And those goddamn courses…

Hmm….the courses…Suddenly Mayuri had a great idea how to use his new creation.

* * *

"Alright class, what is this?" Matsumoto asked sweetly while pointing at a picture on a tripod next to her.

The class looked clueless and agonizing. Finally, Renji ventured a guess.

"A TV?"

"Good, and what's on the TV?"

"It looks like a soap opera."

"Correct! And can you guess which one."

Silence. Then Ichigo whispered:

"Nice, you lose your cookie, Renji."

"No, but it was a guess, Kurosaki-kun." Matsumoto called "This is 'Amor de gavilanes', a very popular soap opera fron the human world. Now, do you guys know what a soap opera is?"

Silence again. There, Momo stepped in.

"A soap opera is a sort of fiction work, the main plot revives mostly around a love story or love stories. Every component of the soap opera is to help this love story in a way and there is hardly anything else in. It's very popular amongst middle-aged people because of the dramatic turns, the original plots…" a snort came from Ichigo's side "And tears, of course. Tears, as you know, are women's most powerful weapon against men, but they can also get you into a very dangerous trap, so you guys must know how to deal with them."

While Hinamori spoke, she threw looks at Matsumoto that could kill her, but the 10th division fukutaicho was affectedly ignoring her younger colleague and looked away.

* * *

Hitsugaya was fighting an urge to slope down on the desk and fall asleep. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that he hadn't had a drop of sleep since Monday-every time he fell asleep, he saw nightmares. Momo was sitting in his feet, looking at him with her bewitching eyes, begging him for his support, and then she turned into a monster that tried to bite his head off, and there was Matsumoto's voice, calling out to him, but he couldn't see her. He woke up, swimming in sweat, and hoped that no-one heard him. To think, the great Hitsugaya taicho being afraid of a woman!

But the problem was grave indeed. Hinamori wanted to become captain through the method of recommendation, but did she really deserve it? He wanted to think that she did, but a bigger part of his brain (along with Hyorinmaru), told him_: "She's a good lieutenant, but she's not fit to become captain. She wants the prestige and power, but she cannot stand up for her division. She still lives in Aizen's shadow, but she's not ready to leave her position as fukutaicho." _

He could always step in for her, but what about the other captains. She said that Ukitake and Kyoraku would follow his example if he did it, and although Hitsugaya himself seriously doubted his influence over them, he had to admit that this was not the way. Normally, it was like a child convincing his parents that he deserved a mobile phone-it worked hard to show them that he was responsible and deserved it. And even if he did say that she was good at being a captain, what about the other three, not to mention those who had to support their decision? Hinamori probably had the support of Unohana taicho and Soi Fong taicho, since they were together in the SWA, and…

And what? There were Komamura, Kuchiki, Mayuri, Zaraki and Yamamoto left. One of them had to recommend her, and the others had to support her. How could she persuade any of them to choose her as the next captain of the 5th? Yamamoto was out of the question, since he was the one doing the promotion. Mayuri could also be excluded, since Momo was too afraid to go anywhere near him, Komamura was…well, he wasn't easy to talk to, but he never blamed the others for feeling uncomfortable at his presence. The only way to impress Zaraki was to fight him, but he usually went along with the majority when it came down to important decisions-politics never interested him.

So that left Kuchiki Byakuya. Hitsugaya looked at the 6th division captain, who was currently wincing at Hinamori's lecture on soap operas. He never knew him very well…nobody really did. He was silent and he liked to stay away from arguments, but he wasn't the kind to agree to something easily. It would take serious convincing, but Hinamori had said that she had a plan. But what plan?

"_**Don't play dumb"**_ Hyorinmaru said _**"You know as well as I do that this little tree-head has a mischievous mind."**_

Hitsugaya gulped. A plan…She couldn't mean…she wouldn't…would she? He remembered the way she grabbed him, the way she was looking at him, and then Matsumoto had come in. A part of him wished that she hadn't come in, so that he could understand what Momo had meant…but then again, he felt that he wouldn't stand the image of his childhood being shattered.

* * *

"It's so sad, she's so desperate she marries her cousin thrice removed that is actually an illegal son of her husband, that got adopted and after spending ten years in prison comes back, starts courting her daughter and ends up with her. IT'S SO THRILLING!"

The expression on Zaraki's face was priceless. Kiyone was crying because of some…sappy moment in the soap opera. He was supposed to comfort her and sat next to her, limp like a tree, listening to her whining. He thought that he had been send to hell, but discovered that he had been only through the purgatory.

His eyebrow was twitching and his eye was watering from pain, and his hands were just itching to grab her and shake her up. He threw a 'This is not fair' look at Matsumoto, who only encouraged him:

"Go on, Zaraki taicho. Nice and gently…"

He rose his hand mechanically and patted her on the shoulder. The way he did it would make a machine look like a real Leonardo DiCaprio in 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"Do…no…worry…." He spat out "I…am…sure….everything….will…work out…in the end…"

"But it's so sad!"

"Yeah…but…it…will….work…out…somehow…."

"And he's so desperate! He just wants some love! Oh, it's so SAAAAD!"

There was a flitch, and an enormous burst echoed all over the academy. Kiyone fell off her chair and stared at Zaraki, whose reiatsu was raging around the room. His eye was a slit in a shape of perfect darkness, and his voice boomed like thunder:

"Stop cryin, wumman! I already told ya, they'll be fine, so stop whining. OK?"

That wasn't a request, by the way.

"ZARAKI, YOU IDIOT, CUT OFF YOUR REIATSU!" Komamura screamed. The captain of the 11th just looked bored and lowered his spiritual pressure to a normal point.

"Ok, I think we're on the right track here, Zaraki taicho." Matsumoto laughed as she looked around the room, where desks, chairs and people had flied in all directions "We're still a little on the rough side, but Kiyone chan liked it, right?"

The little girl just nodded, still shaked up from the outburst. Unohana and Isane looked around the room for injured ones.

"Is everyone ok? Soi Fong taicho, Yachiru, Renji, are you alright?" Isane asked. Soi Fong shook her head and moaned.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said "Thankfully I landed on this bundle of clothes and…huh?" she looked down "Kurotsuchi-taicho, how did you get down there?"

* * *

A/N-I admit, I may have misspelled the title of the soap opera. "Passion of the hawks", I must say, is a very interesting piece of soap opera which I enjoyed watching. Especially Sarita and Franko. What Kiyone says there about the twisted up marriage is actually something I came up with, but if it's been used in some soap opera then...oh well, I don't own that. Or Passion of the hawks...just to be on the safe side.


	10. Love isn't logical

* * *

**Love isn't logical**

Kurotsuchi Mayuri was not a coward. He wouldn't be where he stood if he had been afraid of something. It took a strong mind to dare and go wherever others were too chicken to go. He had to be fearless to maintain his position as taicho of the 12th. So far, he had managed without a problem.

However, no self-control worked when his mind was turned off and his body reacted on its own accord. His vocal cords stopped functioning, but a certain piece of anatomy was coming to life like the monster of Frankenstein. He had to thank his mask, since it didn't show the expression on his face. But at that moment he was more concerned about what Soi Fong tiacho would do if she noticed.

To think, the reactions caused by simple proximity! He never, ever experienced something like this. He had worked with women countless times, his daughter mostly, and he had never reacted to any of them the same way. And now that little captain sitting on his chest was making his blood boil, then run cold in his veins, then boil all over again. And to make things worse, he was getting one hell of a boner in the middle of a room full of people. Damn, he would've thought his hormones would have some consideration about his public status!

"Kurotsuchi-taicho, how did you get down there?" she asked, looking at him with more curiosity than anger. Well, at least she hadn't noticed what was happening underneath her.

"I'm….fine…" he spat through his teeth and got up, desperately trying to conceal his state. Most people in the room had other things to care about, like getting Rukia and Ichigo out of cupboard where Zaraki's reiatsu had somehow swept them. But sadly, there were people who didn't miss things like this. People who weren't much taller than his waist, per instance.

"Hey, Yuri!" Yachiro squeaked "What's this in your hakama?"

Really, of all the things to say. Mayuri wondered if his face had burned the mask off yet. Isane and Kiyone, who were the closest, gave him weird looks, and Soi Fong still heard them. The mad scientist found himself in a great peril, and like most men did in such tight situations, he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Lollipops. For an experiment." He spat out and immediately realized his mistake.

Yachiro's eyes went as big as plates and she looked down again. Then her little hellion face twisted into a five-million bucks grin.

"Let me have some, please, please, please!!" she chipped and jumped on his shoulder, while trying to get her hands into his pockets.

"No. They're for an experiment!"

"Big deal, you can get more later! I didn't know they made them so big!"

"I told you, they're not for you…" his mind was racing.

"WHY?! Give me one good reason why I can't have some or I'll make Ken chan take them from you."

"Those lollipops are not fit for shinigami consumption…yet. I'm developing them."

Yachiro gave him a puzzled look.

"So what? I've eaten a living lizard once, it can't be as bad, right?"

OH, my gods, Mayuri thought, why did she have to say 'lizard'? Then the light bulb blinked.

"They're…caramel flavor." He said, knowing that was her least favorite. Yachiro winced and got off his shoulder.

"Yuck, you're right, that sucks big time…" he shuddered, but then she turned to him again "Say, when you make some strawberry flavor, you'll let me try it, right?"

That was most DEFINITELY NOT a request.

"Um, yeah, sure…" he said, making a mental note to create some giant lollipops when he had the time.

He felt eyes burning the back of his neck and turned to see Soi Fong, looking at him curiously. Mayuri gulped-his body had calmed down a little, but she still seemed suspicious. Then she just shrugged and turned away.

He breathed. There was a pretty high chance that she wouldn't be fooled, but compared to the public embarrassment, that didn't seem too hash. And talking about embarrassment…the bile with the potion was still in his pocket, but he hadn't been sure about the fool he would give it to. However, now he was. Mayuri's eyes turned to Zaraki, who was standing in the corner, looking as if he hadn't gotten him into the riskiest situation he had been in years. Now it was payback time.

Mayuri turned to his 3rd seat.

"Oi, baldy!" he called

"Who are you calling baldy, you pansy ass…Oh, Kurotsuchi-taicho, it's you." Ikkaku blinked "What is it?"

"You captain seems a little on the stressed side." Mayuri said in a sweet voice "He's not having enough fighting lately?"

"Um, yeah…" Ikkaku said "He tries a lot, you know, but with that stupid ass course, he's been thinking too much, and he says he can't stand it, and neither do I, and…yeah, he's stressed."

"That won't be good for anyone." Mayuri said in a syrupy voice "I had the same problems too, but I discovered a solution." He took the bile out oh-so-casually and shook it in front of the blank gaze of Ikkaku "This liquid here helped me get over the stress. It had….miraculous effects."

"Really?" Ikkaku blinked "Can I have some for my captain?" maybe he could have a sip or two himself.

"Sure, why not. I'm thinking about giving it to everybody, so that we can go through this peril easily." He lied shamelessly, but it served Zaraki right, it would teach him to blow up. It would be interesting if his subordinates became from violent idiots into lovesick and violent idiots. "Mix this with a jug of sake and give him a cupful before dinner…"

Mayuri swung it to Ikkaku, who thanked him and walked away. The mad scientist waited until nobody was watching, then he grinned manically.

* * *

Ichigo and Rukia had been caught into the whirl produced by Zaraki's reiatsu, spun around the room and finally got themselves locked in a cupboard. There was no way out and they had to depend on their friends, who were working on the locks.

"I swear…" Rukia hissed as she was panting for air "If you could just keep your damn reiatsu sealed for one lousy little hour, we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Oh, yeah, sure, blame this on me."

"Of course I'm blaming this on you! Zaraki aimed for the reiatsu that was sticking out the most, and-news flash-that was YOURS!"

"So you admit that I was the strongest in the room!" Ichigo yelled triumphantly

"I did not! If Nii-sama and the other captains didn't keep their reiatsus down to spare us the unnecessary illness caused by spirit pressure, you'd be the last Zaraki would pick!"

"Oh, so what does that make you? Perhaps you were the one with the least power in the room and you were easy to lift!" Hearing Byakuya's impassive voice suggest that he should try break the cabinet open with Senbonzakura, Ichigo decided it was time for a change of tone. "However, this FRUITLESS DISPUTE won't get us out, so I suggest we…er…start helping them. Yeah! Rukia, can you try and push the front door open?"

"Damn it, Ichigo, what do you think I've been doing until now?!"

"Arguing with me?"

"That was among other things." She rolled her eyes

"Listen, forget about who's stronger…"

"Wow, coming from you, that almost sounded like a…"

"Compliment? P-L-E-A-S-E! I'd rather criticize Ishida for his sewing. I'm just saying that we should help them get us put of here, 'cause by the looks of things, we'd be grandparents before this old cupboard rusts enough to break."

For a moment Rukia imagined the cupboard being carried to the Kuchiki estate where they could be surrounded by their loving families, and not a bunch of ignorant students. She pictured the piece of furniture being placed into the center of her room, and heard Ichigo's future self's voice saying: _"Oi, Byakuya, sorry to interrupt, but we thought you should know that you've got a nephew."_

"HEEELP!" She screamed "NII-SAMA! MATSUMOTO! NANAO! SOMEBODY, GET US OUT OF HERE!"

* * *

The cupboard idyll was settled by a few precise strikes by Ukitake taicho, that undid the locks of the drawer and released Ichigo and Rukia. Unohana taicho gave them both a check before saying that they'll be alright. She advised Rukia to leave her windows open for a while and assured her that Byakuya definitely wouldn't have let them stay in that closet to have kids.

Kyoraku was looking for his lieutenant. After the little explosion, he hadn't stopped doing that, but she was nowhere in sight. Ukitake came to join him, after successfully freeing his subordinate, and found himself in the role of a counselor for his poor friend.

"She's killing me, Juu-kun!" he whined as they were tracing her spiritual signature throughout the academy "She's shunning me out. What can I do to win my Nanao-chan if she avoids me like that?!"

"Perhaps she's got a good reason." They had just come over a corner, and they ran into Nemu, who was standing in the middle of the corridor with her head turned to her left, as if she had just been talking to somebody.

"Ah, Nemu-san…" Shunsui smiled "Do you know what's happening in my Nanao-chan's head?"

Nemu gave them a blank look and considered the question.

"Well, a number of complicated processes pass into a person's brain, such as…"

"Oh, never mind. Juu-kun, I'll go on ahead and try to catch up with her. You're coming over tonight, right? I can't drink without my buddy!"

He waved before he sunpo-ed away. Ukitake sighed and looked at Nemu.

"Kurotsuchi-san, if you don't mind me asking, what are you still doing here? Classes have been long over."

"Indeed. Mayuri-sama was in a hurry to leave, but I had to stay behind and discuss the next classes with Ise-fukitaicho and Matsumoto-fukutaicho."

"Oh? Have you seen Ise-san?"

"Yes. She was just making sure I ask you about something before running away from her captain."

"Ask me something? Why didn't you tell Shunsui that you saw Nanao-san?"

"He didn't ask."

"Yes, he did."

"No, he asked me if I knew what happened into her head and I said…"

"Oh, yes, right…" Ukitake blushed at his stupidity-with Kurotsuchi-san, things had to be made simple and plain, otherwise, you risked hearing things you really didn't want to hear. "So…what does she want you to ask me?"

"She knows that today, you and Kyoraku-taicho gather for an…informal meeting…and she wanted me to ask you if you could persuade him to help with the next lesson. It is about dancing, and Kyoraku-taicho is the best dancer in Seiretei, or so she says."

"Oh, I see…you want him to demonstrate the proper etiquette for dancing?"

"No, we want to use dancing as an example, but none of us knows how to dance. Ise-fukutaicho wants her captain to teach the steps of a waltz to one man and one woman, so that they can demonstrate in the next class." Since their respective divisions were practically next door, they were walking together under the blazing summer sun.

"Well, I'm sure Shun-kun wouldn't mind doing this at all, but…why doesn't she ask him herself? It would be a lot easier than having you and me deliver messages."

"Ise-fukutaicho doesn't seem to want her captain to know that it's on her request that he's doing it. She asked me to ask you that you make your request seem like something that came to your mind, and she doesn't want him to realize that it's her lesson that's coming up next."

"That's all well and good, Kurotsuchi-san, but why? Nanao-san and Shun-kun are captain and lieutenant. They share the same office, they fight, work and spend most of their time together. I don't see why she should feel uncomfortable asking him to do her this small favor."

"I did not understand either, Ukitake-taicho. But she seems to be avoiding her captain for a while now, so I presume she's angry at him again. It does not seem logical…"

"Yes, well….love can sometimes do this to you." Nemu's eyebrows quired in a questioning manner and Jushiro tried to explain "Nanao-san's actions aren't very logical because she's in love and she doesn't know how to deal with it."

"If I were in love I wouldn't run away." Nemu's blunt statement caught Ukitake so off guard that he lost balance for a second. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I…um…Why do you say that? I mean…she doesn't look like she's running."

"Then she is hiding from reality…" Nemu thought about it "From what I hear, love is a wonderful thing and you should get the most of it, but I suppose that is when your partner matches your requirements."

"Requirements?"

"Ise-fukutaicho has often expressed her displeasure in her captain's ways, but he doesn't show a want to change them for her sake, so they don't fit each-other's requirements and therefore-are not in love."

Ukitake shook his head, but he couldn't find the right words. The poor girl was a loss when it came to loving.

"Sometimes, it doesn't matter if the other person isn't the one from your dreams. Sometimes, we fall in love in the least likely person."

"But how does that happen? There is no logic."

"Love is…" Ukitake sighed "Sadly, love isn't about logic."

* * *

A/N-Ok, this chapter was very, very sick...that does it, this fic is just one step away from going to the M section...but how can I help it, it's got a life of its own. Anyway, it's up to you guys. Lemons, or no lemons...that is the question.


	11. Not knowing and not wanting to know

The 4th wall...

F.S.-Go get him, go get him, you go there, rip his guts out.

Alter ego-smacks her on the head You stupid idiot, stop drooling over Henry Flizroy and get on with the new chapter.

F.S.-You're soooo mean! Oh, fine, I hope you guys like this! Have a nice read.

* * *

**Not knowing or not wanting to know**

Hitsugaya groaned. He was trying to focus on the form in front of him, but for some reason the bitchy image was slipping him. Damn it, he had to pull himself together, he had to concentrate, he had to do his paperwork, damn it!

"_**Yeah, and how are you going to do that?"**_ Hyorinmaru yawned sarcastically. No one knew how somebody could yawn sarcastically, but the ice dragon managed to do impossible things _**"You've been up all night long, doing paperwork. How can you possibly focus? Aside from depriving you of a much needed rest, it's also as boring as hell."**_

"Shut up!" Hitsugaya didn't even mind raising his voice "You know full well that after one of those so called lessons I get nightmares."

"_**You mean every time you see Hinamori you get nightmares. Oh, admit it, Toushiro, I wouldn't blame you. If she were stalking me, I'd be horrified as well."**_

"Shut up! She's not stalking me and I'm not horrified."

"_**Yeah, and the moon is made of cheese. Admit it, you're dying to get rid of her so that you and Matsumoto can finally be happy together."**_

"Be quiet. Matsumoto is my fukutaicho, not my mistress."

"_**Yet."**_

"Hyorinmaru! Stop making sexual advances to her!"

"_**Who? Me? I'm not the one dreaming of her rescuing me from Hinamori all the time. DAY-dreaming, do be precise. Come on, don't tell me that bed-wetter Momo didn't scare the shit out of you last week!"**_

"She may have, but I can't tell her to sod off just because she….was being creepy."

"_**EXACTLY! She IS creepy, and you should've come up with that AGES ago. I mean come on! She's like a goddamn leach! Do you really want to make her a captain?!"**_

"I don't know. She is my friend…"

"_**Friendship doesn't cost a penny here, you know that. And no matter how many votes she buys herself, they won't make her a good captain. Come on, Toushiro, you know it's for her own good that she doesn't become a captain yet. She may mean well, but she's totally ignorant of the duties of a captain."**_

"She can learn."

_**"And her subordinates may suffer the consequences. You know it, people can get hurt because of incompetent leadership, but she doesn't want to listen. It's better to slap her and make her grow out of it than to leave her discover her worthlessness by wounding others. You won't be doing her a favor."**_

And didn't he know it! But what could he do? Whenever he tried to explain, she just looked at him with those big, watery eyes, or, even worse, she'd freak out and call him a treacherous zombie. How could he possibly cope with that?

"Surely, the other captains won't agree."

_**"Big deal! You know very well that if you agree with her on this one, she'll never let go of you. Think about it-bed-wetter Momo stuck to you like old gum for the rest of your life! If I wasn't already a spirit, I'd commit suicide."**_

"Stop it!"

"_**But it's true. Why do you keep punishing yourself with Hinamori when you have Rangiku at your disposal? She's gorgeous!"**_

"Hyorinmaru, I'm warning you…"

"_**Oh, indulge me, just this once!"**_ A sigh escaped the young captain's lips as he consented _**"Do you love her?"**_

"I like her."

_**"Now, play nice, Toushiro!"**_

"I like her." He insisted, stubbornly.

* * *

At this moment, the said lieutenant entered the office, her hands full of forms.

"Good morning, captain." She looked at him, blinking curiously "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." He lied "I'm…glad to see you're finally taking your job seriously."

"Oh, this isn't paperwork, taicho, it's for the next class. Nanao wanted me to check out the theme for next time."

"I hope we're through with the soap operas."

"Rest assured, Zaraki taicho won't burst again." She laughed nervously "No, we're moving onto stability of the relationship. That is, if Ukitake taicho convinces Kyoraku taicho to help."

"I thought you girls didn't want anybody's help."

"Well, it's for the cause." Matsumoto smiled "Speaking of causes, Hinamori-fukutaicho asked me to ask you if you were in for something."

Oh, great, just as he found his equilibrium. Hitsugaya coughed.

"If you see her before I do, tell her that I still don't know."

"Oh?" she blinked "Some special party, taicho?"

"It's irrelevant. I'll tell her myself when I see her." He put all his efforts into looking particularly interested in the form before him. Then he looked at his fukutaicho, who was currently arranging the different stacks of paperwork on her desk. "Do you love her, Toushiro?", he heard Hyorinmaru's voice again. Did he? They worked together, fought together, sometimes told each-other with secrets they wouldn't entrust to their own shadows. And they shared the same dilemma since Aizen's betrayal-Matsumoto was abandoned by Gin, and Hitsugaya…well, there were more then one ways to abandon somebody.

"_**Momo's not the same!"**_ Hyorinmaru's voice was practically shaking with effort to sound nice _**"Just draw a firm line between your professional and personal life. That's the only way."**_

Suddenly, Hitsugaya looked up at his lieutenant, and his lips spoke, almost to their own accord.

"Matsumoto, have you ever had to deal with a…difficult subordinate?" he asked.

"Hmm?" She looked up from her desk "What do you mean, taicho? I haven't been that long in command as to…"

"I mean, have you ever had to deal with somebody who's just…too dense for his own good. Like…the kind of person that doesn't want to know what is best?"

"Come to think about it, no, not as a subordinate at least." She shrugged "Gin used to drive me mad, but now that…well, now it doesn't really matter."

Hitsugaya sighed. Sadly, Momo hadn't done anything to deserve to die yet…but for some really scary reason, he wished she did.

* * *

Ichigo made his way to the 13th division, not knowing what to expect. The time spend in the cupboard wasn't very pleasant, but Yama-jii wanted all captains and lieutenants gathered up, and somebody HAD to deliver the message. Yeah, as if there were no more Hell Butterflies around.

Facing Rukia was going to be awkward, at least for the next few months-she was probably going to ignore him, give him the cold shower when talk couldn't be avoided, and throw poisonous looks at him when they happened to be in the same room. But, oh well, duty calls.

"Oi, Ukitake-san!" he came in the 13th division captain's quarters without even knocking. Ukitake wasn't there.

"Taicho left." Kiyone said from the corridor.

"Left? Where? And…" Ichigo stared at her "What are you doing?"

"Practicing. Kyoraku taicho showed me and Sentaro some steps for the next Saturday lesson." Kiyone sighed "I'd rather dance with my captain, but he seems a little out of it these days. This weather isn't good for his health."

"And for other people's health too." Rukia gritted her teeth as she came in the office. "What are you doing here, Ichigo?"

"I…er…I came to deliver a message. Yamamoto wants all captains and lieutenants to go to the 1st division ASAP."

"What, are there no hell butterflies anymore?" Rukia threw her hands in the air

"Ok, go look for taicho, Rukia-chan…" Kiyone said "I still need to get the steps to this dance right and Sentaro can't possibly come!"

"Why?" Ichigo asked curiously, while Rukia was flashing away.

"Because the bastard will gain points. Will you check on him before going, Kurosaki-kun?" she pleaded

"Yeah, whatever." Ichigo shrugged-well, since he was becoming a boy-for-everything, why not?

* * *

Rukia found Ukitake taicho in front of the 11th division compound, watching something with lieutenant Kurotsuchi. As she approached, she heard loud curses and screams of pain, and although this wasn't unusual for the 11th, she peeked inside instead of talking to her captain.

She saw Zaraki taicho rolling all over his division's courtyard, holding his head and whining. His reiatsu was raging and lashing out on anyone who came within ten feet from him. Ikkaku and Yumichika were trying to restrain him, but so far their efforts were fruitless.

"What happened?" Rukia asked aloud while staring at Zaraki's flushed face and furious eyes "He looks like he has rabies!"

"Indeed." Ukitake snapped from whatever trance he had been "I'll bet Retsu-san…"

"NO!" Zaraki screamed "IF ANYONE CALLS A PANSY FROM THE 4TH THERE'LL BE HEADS ROLLING!"

"Ken-chan doesn't seem so well." Yachiro said, while leaning on Nemu and sucking on a big lollipop (yes, Mayuri had send his daughter to bring them to her) "Maybe he's eaten a living squirrel again."

"This is not good, it might rip a hole in his insides if it's not properly digested." Nemu stated bluntly

"That's a little scary, Glass-eyes."

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you. But if your captain rejects the intervention on the 4th divisions, I better get Mayuri-sama to perform the operation."

"I DIDN'T EAT A LIVING SQUIRREL! I'M FINE, JUST LEAVE ME GODDAMN ALONE!!"

"Kuchiki-san…" Ukitake turned to his subordinate "Why are you here? I thought you were still hiding from Kurosaki-kun."

"Taicho!" Rukia exclaimed and looked around, as if afraid that Ichigo was around to hear this. "I…there was a message from Yamamoto sou-taicho for you. He wants all captains and lieutenants to go to the first division, ASAP."

"I better go and get Mayuri-sama." Nemu said

"Hey!" Ikkaku yelled, while running after her "Hey, 12th division bitch, wait up!"

Nemu stopped and turned around to face him, not even blinking at the sudden insult.

"Hey, you tell your captain to get his ass over here and fix this mess."

"I will tell Mayuri sama that his help is requested, but I doubt he'll know how to help when he doesn't know the cause."

"You just tell him, or else I'm coming there to…"

"Before you continue, third seat Madarame Ikkaku, I must remind you that I am a lieutenant and Mayuri-sama is a captain."

"Yeah, so what?!"

"We're both outranging you. You cannot give us orders." Nemu stated bluntly. Now, anyone in her place would've backend out and run for his life, but she remained just as calm as she would've been on a Sunday walk. Ikkaku blinked a few times, and then opened his mouth to yell something out, but stopped. Suddenly, there was a huge spiritual pressure in the air, more powerful even than captain Zaraki's.

They turned around and they saw everyone except Ukitake taicho crouching on the ground, holding their heads. The 13th division captain had suddenly acquired a very scary expression, like he was about to crush a bug, and Ikkaku, the poor guy, was the bug in question.

"Madarame-san…" his voice was calm…creepily calm. "It is not very gentleman-like to call a lady names."

He took a few steps closer, and Ikkaku sank a few inches into the ground.

"Now…" Ukitake's every word was heavy like lead "You'll apologize and you'll go about your business, understood?"

Ikkaku could only nod stiffly. And then mutter a choked apology to Nemu.

"Very good." Ukitake regained his cheerful demeanor in mere seconds, his crushing reiatsu back under control and his sunny smile back on his face. He made his way to a nearly-fainted Nemu and helped her up.

"Are you ok, Kurotsuchi-san?" he asked politely. She nodded stiffly. Ukitake beamed, and helped her up, then went to help the others up, and then they headed towards division 1. For some reason, Ukitake's little outburst did some good-Zaraki finally calmed down.

* * *

A/N-looks up at her evil alter ego Can I go back to watching 'Blood Ties' now?

Lol, sorry about that, I was just dying to share my newfound passion for those series. Well, I hope you guys liked it.


	12. Memories

* * *

**Memories**

Kyoraku taicho put the small gas torch where it wouldn't cause much trouble, then took a deep breath. Immediately his lungs filled with that stuffy, dusty air that usually stands in the attics, but instead of coughing and sneezing, he savored the moment like a mouthful of sake-it smelled of old feats and precious memories.

"That'll be all." He called out to the subordinate in charge of the division's storage room "I'll find what I need and I'll lock up, don't worry." He thought about it for a moment "On the other hand, when I get out, ask me if I took the torch back."

The man bowed and left his captain to look around in the old boxes. Shunsui waited until the steps died out before he turned to his occupation.

Actually, he didn't have to search-he knew perfectly well what he was looking for. Despite Nanao's insisting that the place was a mess, he always found his way around it. After all, memory lane was his favorite refuge.

The air was full with magical silence as he knelt down to open a bunch of boxes. His fingertips gently outlined the lids, as if those weren't some crates, the kind that people use to stuff useless junk in, but real treasure chests. The kind of chests that sprinkle purple dust in the air when you open them, the kind of chests filled with wicked secrets and dark passions.

There was no magical dust, not purple anyway, when he opened one of them. Slowly, he took out a bunch of old-fashion magazines he had bought from Earth, a small stack of records and a handful of signed pictures. Everything was related to dancing-the magazines reflected on popular musicians and dance steps, the records were full of music-from elegant waltz to passionate tango, one of the pictures had young Patrick Swayze's autograph. Shunsui dug out the old gramophone too, and as he was wondering if he'd need new needles, his eyes fell on something.

Curious, he took out the black album and turned the pages. There were old fashioned drawings, as well as black and white photos, showing the history of the division. There wasn't much to be seen, the 8th hadn't changed many captains before he took over. His gaze fell on a group photograph, dating a little before the whole Vizard mess. He sat, legs crossed surrounded by his subordinates, one arm draped around Lisa's waist, the other one stroking little Nanao's hair.

As he was watching those old photos, a strange wave of emotion hit him, so hard that he couldn't hold back the sob that escaped his throat. How long had it been since that picture was taken? Long enough for him to forget Lisa, the only woman besides Matsumoto Rangiku, who he'd never hit on. He remembered when he heard of her fate first-he wanted to go to central 46, break the doors down and get her out, hollow or not. When Yoruichi saved her, Hirako and the others, he was relieved, even though that was losing most of his close friends at once. Afterwards, he had clung to Juu-kun and Nanao-chan, afraid to let go. Yes, he appeared relaxed and goofy on the exterior, but inside, he was scared like a child in the dark.

How long had it been? Long enough for little Nanao-chan to grow up and turn into a dashing young woman. Long enough for her to climb the stairs of hierarchy and become his lieutenant. Long enough for her to know him better than herself, and eventually-to steal his heart. It was painful, and it wasn't the worst. The worst was that he was an antique-just like all those items around him. Being a shinigami, he was in the prime of his years, and yet compared to Nanao-chan, his sweet, energetic Nanao-chan, he was an old man.

Why did he let this happen? Why did he let her slip away from him? She grew up around him, he should've done the same. Was it too late?

"Taicho?" Nanao's head popped through the hatch in the attic floor "Taicho, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Nanao-chan." He smiled "I was just looking for something…for Kiyone-chan and Sentaro-san's lessons." He showed her the record "We need music, after all."

"I see." She nodded and instead of vanishing, actually came closer, walking on hands and feet. Shunsui couldn't help but smile-at times like these, when she dropped the professionalism mask and looked at him with those big blue eyes, she was like a curious child.

"I haven't seen this in ages." She stated quietly, then took a record, dusted it off, but it in the gramophone and wined it up. 'L'Ete Indien' by Joe Dassin resonated in the empty attic. Nanao sat down, bringing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms around them. Shunsui lied on his elbow and listened too, the melancholic music suiting his mood perfectly.

Suddenly the song changed with the energetic 'Salut les amoureux', and there, Shunsui almost lost it. Thankfully, the message from Yamamoto sou-taicho arrived to save him just in time and the two ran towards the 1st division. On the road, Shunsui told his subordinates to take down the gramophone, records and a few other boxes, as well as the album. Surprisingly, he didn't forget to bring the torch down.

* * *

Yamamoto Sou-taicho eyed his captains and lieutenants. Something was definitely wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on what it was. Kyoraku and Ise were covered in dust. Rukia, who Ukitake brought, was staring at substitute Kurosaki as if she wanted to kill him with her very sight. Zaraki taicho was groaning and wincing whenever his eyes met those of Unohana taicho. Mayuri taicho was doing everything in order not to look at Soi Fong taicho. Hinamori fukutaicho was throwing sly glances at Hitsugaya, and the protégée looked as if he wanted to sink into the ground.

These courses were not doing good to anyone, Yamamoto thought and decided to put an end to it. He chose to get started immediately and he coughed to get their attention.

"The Winter war is over." He said "The traitors met their fate, and the arrancar abominations were all destroyed. However, that doesn't mean that peace will not be jeopardized again, nor that we can relax fully. We almost lost, and I want the next such plot to be exterminated at its very beginning. That is why I want to share this new strategy with you…Yes, Ukitake-taicho."

"I beg your pardon, sensei, but I was wondering…if the issue with Aizen Sosuke's treachery is settled, don't you think it is time to end Urahara-san and Shihoin-hime's exile?"

"Urahara Kisuke and Shihoin Yoruichi were chased out of Soul Society because of their crimes-illegal experimentation and disobedience are not offences that can be easily forgiven."

"But Central 46 must've been under Aizen's influence already. Kisuke-san could've found a cure for Hirako and the others!"

"What's done is done, Ukitake-taicho. I advise you to forget all about it and focus on more important things."

Ukitake looked as if he was going to burst, but kept quiet.

"Now, onto the business. You all know Rukongai-80 districts of souls, waiting to be reincarnated. A labyrinth of streets and holes, a perfect hideout for any rebels or scum like Aizen. So far we have ignored it, thinking that there is no way that anything can happen there, but it seems we were wrong. We need to keep a better eye on the residents there, we need to find powerful souls like Zaraki-taicho here and bring them over to the academy as soon as possible."

Yamamoto waited for his words to sink in, then he continued:

"There will be small patrols, two people max, and for the first two weeks, there will be a captain or a lieutenant or both in each one. You'll take shifts and you'll try to cover as much areas as possible, so that we can have a good look on things. We'll place extra patrols in the living world too, preferably captains so that we can have a better look on things."

"So you're suggesting that we roam about the streets of Rukongai…" Byakuya's tone was dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, I do. There will be no excuses, no explanations, no nothing! You almost lost your sister in the last war, Kuchiki Byakuya taicho, and I don't want another such tragedy to happen. You'll go to the living world with 5th seat Kuchiki Rukia and substitute shinigami Kurosaki Ichigo for now, Kyoraku taicho and Ise fukutaicho will go undercover and the rest of you will draw straws to decide on the patrols. That's all!"

* * *

"Yamamoto sou taicho is in a foul mood lately." Rukia remarked as they left the big hall of division one together with Nanao. "I mean, getting me, Nii-sama and Ichigo together in a mission is the worst possible combination ever!"

"It's better than sending poor Ukitake taicho, he looks completely out of it." Nanao threw the said captain a look "Does Unohana taicho have news about his illness. Is it progressing?"

"Last time I asked her, she said there was no change. It's coming and going, we don't really know when it will strike."

"He doesn't look like himself. I mean, other than the time when he saved you, I've never seen him defy Sou-taicho like that."

Rukia nodded, remembering the outburst of reiatsu earlier that day. She'd never seen her good and genteel captain burst like that. It was as if he was somebody else. She told Nanao about it, about the suffocating spiritual pressure, the nausea, the pain…

"I mean, it actually pacified Zaraki taicho! And I was so scared I thought I was going to die!"

"I know." Nanao agreed. She herself had dealt with Yamamoto's wrath, and even her being around somebody as powerful as Kyoraku taicho hadn't prepared her for that. "It sometimes happens that more experienced captains surprise us lieutenants like that."

"But I've never felt anything like that! I mean…I've been around Ichigo longer than anybody else in Soul Society and his reiatsu has never been so strong, even though he can't keep it down. And he's achieved bankai!"

"Achieving bankai isn't enough. Sometimes candidate-captains have to train for decades before they can pass the examination with their bankai. And they keep practicing to polish their moves, which naturally leads to higher reiatsu levels."

"But it makes me wonder…Ukitake taicho is always so calm and composed, and then…he lost concentration once and he nearly killed us all!"

"Yes, it shouldn't happen."

* * *

Ukitake himself wasn't in his best shape. Suddenly, he felt exceedingly stupid for brining the question of Urahara's exile up, but when he had heard Yamamoto talk about Aizen, he just couldn't help himself. He just had to say it! He felt that if he didn't, he'd be a traitor himself. But why?

"Ukitake taicho?" A quiet voice rang close to his ear. He leaped up and saw Nemu, who was looking at him with growing concern.

"Kurotsuchi-san…" he breathed "You…startled me."

"I apologize. I wanted to see how you are. You seem upset."

"No, I'm fine, I'm just a little…frustrated, because Yamamoto-sensei doesn't want to listen to me."

"You shouldn't have said such things." Nemu titled her head "If anyone speaks to Myuri-sama in that way, losing their position would mean that they got off lucky." When he looked at her, astonished, she bowed her head and explained "I'm sorry, I just find it unreasonable to jeopardize your position like that. Even if you're his favorite student..."

"I know that, Kurotsuchi-san…" he sighed "But Kisuke, Yoruichi, everyone, those were my friends. I feel as if I've…"

"Betrayed them?"

"Yes. That's the word. Betrayed them."

Nemu was aware that when it came to human emotions, she was a loss. She couldn't see the logic in captain Ukitake's actions, and she couldn't understand why was she so worried about him all of the sudden. For some ironic reason, she knew the answer to everybody's questions, but never her own.

"You must understand that Yamamoto-san is a very important figure in Seiretei. He cannot openly admit that he's done a mistake or beg for somebody's forgiveness, as that puts his authority under question. That doesn't mean that he's hypocrite. He can tell right from wrong, he just doesn't do it openly."

She rose as her father called her to hurry up. Glancing down at the dumbfound Ukitake taicho, she added:

"You've done your duty as their friend, let Yamamoto sou-taicho do his, as a leader. I don't see why you should worry. What's more Urahara-san and the others may not want to return."

She ran to catch up with her father, leaving Ukitake to stare at the void.

* * *

A/N-And the wheel is spinnign and spinning and spinning...Who's going to have some of Mayuri's love potion? Only you can decide! Visit my profile page and vote for your three favorites!


	13. Serious action

* * *

**Serious action**

When Hinamori Momo entered the 12th division compound, she was greeted by a deathlike hush. The yard was empty, the halls-deserted, no sound came from the rooms…it was just like one of those movies when the hero falls asleep like a normal guy and wakes up as the last man on earth.

However, the 12th division wasn't struck by a deadly virus (not like it would be a surprise), the subjects didn't break loose (it wouldn't be a surprise either), and there hadn't been a mutiny (ok, that would've been intriguing). After searching a little, Hinamori discovered a bunch of Mayuri's subordinates, cowering in a small room and working on their respective projects as quietly as possible. They'd even tied old rags around the biles so in case they broke, they wouldn't make any noise.

When she asked them about their captain, only Akon was capable of answering.

"Taicho is in the main lab….but you better keep out of it. Nemu-fukutaicho had to take the rest of the day off because he beat the crap out of her this morning. He's been in a foul mood since Monday."

And he was especially angry with petite, fine, uniformed women…you know why. Hinamori, however, didn't know, and went upstairs determined to get what she came here for.

As soon as she walked in, she knew Akon wasn't exaggerating. Mayuri was wearing his "I'mgonnakillyouworthlessbastards" face and he was storming about the lab as if he wanted to create a nuclear bomb in ten seconds. He yelled at Hinamori for interrupting his very important business, but since she wasn't Soi Fong, his anger soon dried out to his usual irritation.

"I need to ask you for something, Kurotsuchi-taicho." Hinamori began, her big brown eyes shining.

"Make it quick."

"As you know, I'm trying to become a captain…"

"I said make it quick!"

"Do you have a love potion?!" she shot out quickly. Mayuri froze and stared-how did that creepy little lieutenant know? But then, when he reconsidered, he realized that she was probably asking him to create one. Interesting.

"Why do you need it, again?" he asked

"Because I want to become captain by recommendation. I need the potion to…persuade other captains to help me."

Well, well, well…this apple hadn't fallen too far from the tree. If Aizen saw his fukutaicho, he'd be proud-the little Satan wanted to seduce her way into captainship. Mayuri rubbed his chin-it would be good to have a captain owning him a favor, but on the other hand ambitious tree-heads like Hinamori Momo were too dangerous to be high-ranking shinigami. Next thing you know, she'd be plotting the murder of the King, and they couldn't have that.

"You do understand that if all the captains of Gotei 13 fall in love with you, people will suspect…an external interference."

"I'm not going to use it on all of the captains. I'm sure Unohana and Soi Fong taicho will be there for me, Shiro-chan will persuade Ukitake-taicho and Kyoraku-taicho to be my benefactors, all I need is one more person, and I'm sure the rest will agree."

"Interesting." It was rather presumptuous, but if it worked, that would be the most preposterous promotion n the history of Gotei 13. "And who is the lucky guy to get a dose of love potion, may I ask."

"Kuchiki-taicho." Hinamori beamed, thinking that he might need the name to calibrate the potion.

Mayuri's face didn't betray anything, but inside, he applauded the hellion. This was going to be fun.

"As a matter of fact." He cleared his throat "I do have something that is close to the standards of a love potion." He turned to his desk, pretending to search for the bile, while actually, it lay tucked in to safety in his coat pocket, where nobody could get it. (yeah, like anyone would want to go there).

"Ah, there it is." He pulled it out. "It's been a while since I discovered this one, but I'm warning you, it won't work if he doesn't find you…sympathetic, the least."

"Well, they say I'm cute." Hinamori let out a smug smile and took it from Mayuri "Can I count on your vote, Kurotsuchi-taicho?"

"Let's see if it comes to voting." He hid his malevolent grin

"How much do I have to pay you?" Hinamori asked

"No payment…yet. I'll ask you for a favor…when the time is right. But I'm warning you, if Kuchiki Byakuya doesn't like you, he won't fall in love with you either. And just for the record, if this little plan of yours backfires, I have nothing to do with it."

"Of course." She nodded her head "I understand."

* * *

"Hurry up, Badly, Peacock-brow! We're late!" Yachiro screamed as the 11th division tri skipped down the streets of Rukongai. Throughout the night, Zaraki taicho had woken up at least ten times, roamed around the division compound, and occasionally breaking into rooms and challenging their sleepy inhabitants to a fight. In the crack of dawn, they had finally decided to give him sake with a sedative in it so that they could get him to the 4th. It took ten men to strap him onto a bed with a combination of belts and kido spells. He was going to be furious when he woke up, but it was for his own good.

Right now, they needed to be as far away from him as possible and thankfully, the patrolling provided a good excuse. Actually, Yachiro had found this place the other day, where people fought for money. Yumichika was already gathering bets for Ikkaku.

"Ok, this is it!" Yachiro piped as she ran down the narrow stairs of a basement. Inside, it was more crowded than Hell's lawyer section, with people shouting and kicking each other to get a better view of the cage. There was the occasional sound of a broken bottle or a bone when somebody went down. Ikkaku looked around and grinned-yeah, it was just like the 11th.

"OUT OF THE WAY, THE CHAMP IS HERE!" He yelled and pushed his way into the cage. Luckily, he had ditched his upper uniform and was looking just like some Rukongai twirp. To his surprise, his opponent turned out to be a girl.

Ok, maybe not exactly a girl. It was that sort of a creature between childhood and adulthood-a skinny teenager with big grey eyes and long black hair, the type of woman you find anywhere in Rukongai.

They didn't wait for the bell to ring when they lashed out on each other. No swords were allowed, just fists and kicks. Ikkaku was…as if he was made of steel, but the girl was tough. Life on the street does that to you.

They exchanged a few punches, and while they did so Ikkaku began to feel dizzy. Perhaps it was something he ate…but he had just taken a sip from his captain's drink.

"Why don't you just go back to your little play house…shinigami…" she growled before knocking him out.

* * *

Hitsugaya sat in his study, wearing a comfortable sleeping robe, while going over some old books. After many sleepless nights, the 10th division captain had finally discovered a way to keep the Hinamori nightmares away-he read the laws of Seiretei. He was looking for ways to get out of that mess his childhood friend was getting him into.

Sadly, there were no exceptions-if 6 captains recommended her and 3 more agreed, she was going to become a captain. There were no limits for reiatsu, no initial bankai requirements to cover, not even hours spend in solving paperwork. Gods, Toushiro thought, what idiots had become captains this way. It had to be made illegal.

There was a knock. He looked up and relaxed, seeing Matsumoto's curvy figure in the shoji door.

"Come in." he said.

"Taicho, are you ok?" she knelt next to him on the floor

"Yeah…why?"

"Well, you haven't been yourself all week. You're pale and tired, you obviously don't sleep…"

"How did you know?" he asked, rather sharply

"Do you own a mirror?" she smiled "You look like you died…again."

"Oh…" he sighed, then looked up at her. Rangiku's eyes shun with genuine concern, and he couldn't help but smile "I'm sorry to have worried you."

"It doesn't matter. But are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just…I have a dilemma. A…friend wants a favor from me…a very big favor. It's something I…I don't know, it's just a bit too much. I don't know what to do anymore."

"You'll do fine, taicho. You've always done the right thing, what's stopping you now?"

"It's just…complicated." He sighed. Now that he thought about it, Hinamori's plan seemed childish and silly. Rangiku's warm eyes chased away all the worry from him, as if his body was a bottle of champagne-once opened, the pressure flowed away.

"You'll do fine, taicho. I believe in you." Matsumoto smiled.

And Hitsugaya was lost.

* * *


	14. Some things

* * *

**Some things**

Matsumoto looked up from the brim of the book, and just to make sure her taicho was really asleep, poked him with her thumb. Hitsugaya groaned and let his head drop on the desk.

There was something in tall, busty women reading books out loud that just…put you to sleep. Perhaps it was the memory of your mother reading to you when you were little, but that always worked. Matsumoto carefully put the book away and brought his futon in the study, intending to tuck him in and go back to her own quarters. But when she returned, she saw him standing up, looking around confusingly.

"Sorry, taicho, I thought you were…" she began, but he waved his hand.

"Never mind, Matsumoto. I should've crashed in hours ago." He helped her set the futon on the floor and then saw her to her quarters. Before parting, he mumbled: "Thanks for listening to me."

She didn't answer.

Despite her bimbo-like appearance, Matsumoto Rangiku wasn't born yesterday. All she had to do was remember that conversation she happened to overhear (cougheavesdropcough), and get two and two together. Hitsugaya lost his sleep after that Monday. Obviously tree-head-Hinamori had done something to him.

Other than Gin, she didn't have a problem persuading people she was right (they just gave her infamous bosom a look and they were ready to jump in the sea with a rock tied on their necks). But she grew up in Rukongai, just like Hitsugaya and Hinamori and understood the camaraderie between them. Everybody depended on somebody, not helping them out was like killing them.

But…it wasn't fair. This was not Rukongai!

* * *

Hitsugaya woke up to find he was being late, but for once he didn't care. He was happy he got some shut eye. He entered the office, whistling to himself, and greeted some of his fellow subordinates. Some of them stared at him with surprise. Ok, this was not good. Had Matsumoto painted his captain's robes pink again?

Upon entering the office, he saw his lieutenant working hard over a bunch of forms, and stared. She stared back.

"Captain…" she seemed to have lost all words.

"What is it?" he looked at her curiously "Is something wrong?"

"Well…Ugh…you may want to see this…" she pulled a small mirror from her desk and placed it so that Hitsugaya could see…all of himself.

He stared, bug eyed.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked.

"No." she squeaked.

He had grown. Well, not too much, but he was sure taller. Some locks of his white hair fell around his face, his features seemed sharper, and his eyes had a very distinctive…sparkle.

"This is…impossible. I just…slept…" he mumbled, running long, slender fingers through his face.

"Well, when you first didn't show up, we called Unohana taicho, and she said…"

"First? Matsumoto, I just slept!" Hitsugaya looked around, afraid to make another guess. "How long did I sleep?"

"Um…three days. It's Friday now."

"THREE DAYS!" He stared at the mountain of paperwork. "Oh, shit, I've got to get started on this…" he ran behind his desk, sat down, got his inkwell out, but just as he was about to reach for the nearest stack, the paperwork shook furiously.

Hitsugaya stared right in front of him, too shocked to say anything. The mountain of paperwork shook and crumbled, revealing a fuzzy face and a couple of green eyes. A big chalk-white cat stretched lazily and stared at him.

"Oh, there you are! I was wondering where you went, Yukishiro!" Matsumoto chipped nervously as she went over her desk to take the cat off her captain's work

"Matsumoto, what is this animal doing the office?" It seemed like a cat plus a mountain of paperwork were enough to get Hitsugaya's mind off his sudden growing up. His lieutenant smiled.

"Taicho, cats are very good pets-they take care of themselves, they take the stress away, they're warm and fuzzy and easy to hold, and you do need a break from stress. And Haineko likes her! It keeps her quiet and I can work in peace too. Please, taicho, can we keep her?"

"Of all things, I don't think this cat is Snow-white (Yukishiro means litteraly Snow white)." Hitsugaya sighed "As long as Sou-taicho doesn't see her."

"YAAAY!" She ran towards him and gave him one of her bear hugs, something which Hitsugaya took stoically. "Thank you, taicho, I promise I'll look after her."

"We'll see." He sat down to work, Matsumoto did the same, and Yukishiro, seeing that the commotion was over, went over and settled herself in his lap. Histugaya looked uncomfortable, but then stroked the cat's warm back soothingly. Doing so, he noticed that his sleeves were indeed shorter.

"Matsumoto, what did Unohana taicho say?" he asked after some time.

"Well, when you didn't show up, we went to your quarters and saw your reiatsu raging about. Unohana taicho said that you've had a lot to cope with recently and you may sleep for a long time. We didn't know you'd…grow up so suddenly, but there you have it." She looked nervous "Um…Hinamori came over to look for you, but we told her you were out, training the rookies."

"Ah…good work." He nodded. In times like these, he was more than thankful for Matsumoto's sense of tact. But right now, when he looked at her, when his eyes caught hers, something warm bubbled up in his chest, something that made him incredibly happy.

* * *

The inevitable Saturday rolled over, and people started to prepare for their last seminar together (seeing that everyone was going somewhere.)

"I must insist that you stay in bed for at least another week, Zaraki-taicho." Unohana stood by the huge captain's bedside and watched with disapproval as he was dressing himself. A grunt was all she got in return. "Did you hear me?"

"If this is supposed to be some smart trick so that you can win the bet, it ain't workin'." Zaraki gritted his teeth.

"You suffer from chest pain, arrhythmia, your blood pressure is hitting the ceiling, not to mention spontaneous erections and reiatsu bursts. With symptoms as such I'm wondering how you are still standing. I may question your division's methods, but I wouldn't risk the health of a patient over a bet, Zaraki-taicho."

He turned to bark out some response, but seeing she was dead serious, his features twisted and turned into something that resembled a smile….faintly.

"Yeah, well…I'll be fine. I'll kill a few hollows and take a shower and everything will be settled."

Even though the situation was far from being that simple, one couldn't help and admire Zaraki's stoicism. Unlike Mayuri, who totally lost it when the object of his affection showed up, Kenpachi would rather cut his own arm off to looking ridiculous in front of a girl. So even if his heart was pounding in his ears, even if his blood was boiling, hell, even with that tent in his trousers he refused to admit he needed rest. Thankfully, at least Unohana knew very well that there was nothing shameful or abnormal and she didn't pay any attention. She concluded that his reiatsu was finally getting the best of him and those were all side reactions. It never crossed her wind they may be triggered by her presence.

* * *

Ikkaku wasn't in his best for either. After that girl knocked him out, Yumichika and Yachiru had brought him in secret to the forth division, and had Isane treat his wounds before they got him back to the 11th. They couldn't possibly report the accident as abuse of an officer, because they'd have to answer questions-why were they in that basement? What were they doing there without anything distinguishing their status? What was lieutenant Madarame looking for in that cage? A fight? Well, it looks as if he's gotten what he wants.

In truth, Ikkaku wasn't very eager to let the whole 11 division to know he was beaten up by a girl. As soon as he looked well (because his entire side was violet), he was going to find that brat and have a rematch.

Surprisingly, early that Saturday morning, Yumichika brought him a visitor. Ikkaku tried to focus through his swollen eye lids, distinguished a brown, clean robe and raven black hair. He cursed as the person came closer and he recognized his opponent.

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" he barked. She grinned smugly as she sat on a chair near his bed.

"Is that all the greetin' you're capable of? Ya shoul' be thankin' me, nobody knew what happened to ya after the pansy and the midget got you out."

"Yeah! What's that to ya!"

"Don't flatter yourself! I wanna know the names of the people I knocked back to the Livin' world, but since you ain't dead, I guess I'm goin'."

"Hold it!" he braked, bolting up in his bed. "How the hell did you get in here?!"

"The same way you guys get out, I guess." She shrugged "You go out to drink in our bars, we come in to steal from the houses. A clean shirt is all you need, everyone takes you for a maid."

"So that's why you speak so correctly."

"Duh! What else do ya expect!"

"Listen you, I ain't…"

"MADARAME! AYASEGAWA! EVERYONE GET YOUR ASSES UP, WE'RE GOING ON AN EARLY DRILL!" Zaraki boomed as he collected Yachiru and his sword.

"Shit!" Ikkaku jumped as he heard his captain's footsteps in the hall "No women here! Come on, hide!" he yelled as he was looking for some place to put his visitor. Sadly, his room only had a narrow bed and a trunk, filled with his uniforms. The door swung open, Zaraki came in, Ikkaku took a breath and stood in attention.

Zaraki's eye fell on him, then it moved to a place somewhere behind his back, probably where the girl stood, and then back to Ikkaku.

"What're ya standin' around, I said we're having a drill, didn't I!"

"Tai…taicho? I…eh…"

"Cut the crap, idiot, and get ready. Your friend can find her way out, can't she? Get your lousy ass dressed and let's go kill Hollows…unless you're to chicken to."

"Woooow!" Yachiru piped as she peaked up from her father's shoulder "I didn't know Baldy liked it rough. Ne, Ken-chan, let's leave him alone! They…"

"Shuddup! One minute, or else it's kitchen duty for ya!" Zaraki said before storming out. Ikkaku stood in the middle of his room, refusing to belie his ears. Then he turned and saw the girl, sitting in his bed, wrapped in his covers. The tops of her robes was yanked off and she was grinning maliciously.

"What the…"

"I guess it's all about company, ain't it?" She tossed the covers aside and fixed her chest bindings before she started to dress herself. "You guys are so predictable! See a naked woman and you lose everything!"

"You shut up there!" Ikkaku tried to sound harsh, but in truth was awestruck by her ingenuity. "You're not a woman, you're still a girl."

"Yeah, whatever." She yawned "If you ain't dead, I'll head back." She paused before the tray with food Yumichika left and took and apple. "Next time you wanna mess with the Rukongai folks, take on your stupid Hollows and leave us alone. You don't belong there."

"Hey! I grew up in district 80, I know what it's like."

"Well you sure as hell forget it easily!" she came over, grabbed his under rode and opened it, revealing his chest. "Look at ya! No fresh scars, but your skin is clean-you have enough time to bathe alone. Only shinigami do that."

She backed away, suddenly too angry to keep her grin on.

"Now if you'll excuse me, sir, I've got a gang waiting for me."

He stared at her, and just as she was about to open the door, he said:

"No you don't."

She stopped dead in her tracks and turned around.

"What did you say?!"

"You're not going back to anyone. You came here alone, you sat longer than you should've, you took just one apple…nobody's waiting for you."

She was silent. Ikkaku grinned, finally discovering and advantage over her.

"Listen, you may have a rotten character, but you can stay here for a while. How 'bout it?"

"Fuck you!"

"You know why they're avoiding you? I didn't know why they avoided me, until I met taicho." He gestured towards the door "He came here, looked at ya and you didn't even wince! I bet no-one ever told ya that he can't seal his reiatsu."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Come here. Enter the academy. People won't be avoiding you there, and you can still hop over the walls for a drink when you're feelin' like it."

She was quiet, as if she was considering it, but then smirked.

"I wasn't born yesterday, idiot." She opened the door "But next time I get hungry, I'll come around."

"What's your name!" he yelled, not hoping for a reply. Her response was hardly understandable.

"Rei."

* * *

A/N-Booring, huh? well, I guess it's high time for a lesson, right? don't worry, I won't let my students go on vacation without proper homework Grins


	15. Learning the steps

* * *

**Learning the steps**

The classroom filled slowly, both with sun rays and with students. It seemed that the day itself was reluctant to come around. The only one actually eager to show up was Kyoraku taicho, who dragged Ukitake taicho along as well. Soon, other captains and lieutenants started to show up. Hinamori and Matsumoto laid out the refreshments, and even though the day was proving to be hot, the 5th division lieutenant brewed some tea.

Isane, Kiyone and Yachiru cleared some room for the demonstration, while Sentaro tied his shoes on.

"So lessons will have to be suspended for now? That's a shame, and the guys were getting used to it." Isane sighed

"Yeah, well, let's just hope I didn't take those dance lessons with that idiot over there for nothing!"

"Yaaa, how are the guys supposed to get girlfriends if they don't come to the lessons?" Yachiru sighed "I mean, isn't that what we're doing here."

"Yachiru-chan, this isn't a good thing to say. We're trying to help."

"Besides, as my captain would say 'All in due time'."

"But if you don't hurry up all the cool straight guys will be taken."

"I don't really think that'll happen. There are plenty…" Isane began.

"Yeah, right. I'm telling you to be careful, cause you'll be left with Kira and Hisagi and then you'll be wondering what to do."

Isane looked up at Yachiru, a strange spark in her eye.

"But…Hisagi-kun isn't gay, Yachiru-chan."

"That's what you think. I mean, isn't it a little weird that both of them are getting worked over their old captains."

"What?"

"Isn't it obvious? Love is losing your mind, and Bun-girl lost it when her captain quit. Kira and Hisagi also lost it when their captains quit, so they must be gay. Oh! Ken-chan came. KEN-CHAAAN!"

Yachiru hopped to her captain, leaving Isane with messed thoughts.

* * *

If love means to lose your mind, then captains Mayuri and Zaraki were definitely out of it. Mayuri couldn't rest because Soi Fong had come early, and the 11th division taicho was…well, he looked rather wild. Ikkaku was nowhere to be seen, but he was suffering in his own way.

Byakuya was sitting in his place, hardly containing his impatience. Right after this lesson, he was leaving for Earth with Rukia and Kurosaki, not to come back for at least a few weeks. By the time he set foot in Seiretei again, this whole Re-education mess would be buried and forgotten.

He wasn't a dreamer and he was proud of it-he knew from the start that this whole folly wouldn't work. Sure, he was taken aback at first, but now the strong sex had turned the tables in their favor once again. You can't change a guy, no matter how much you try-it's in his genes to be strong, superior and…in their terms, pervert.

"Tea, Kuchiki taicho?"

He looked down at the steaming cup, pushed into his hand by Hinamori fukutaicho.

"Compliments from Matsumoto-fukutaicho for your rapid progress, Kuchiki-taicho." She said with a sly smile. Byakuya envisaged her carefully before drinking the green tea.

"It's…tolerable. Excellent sort." He said while wondering why she was staring at him so attentively.

"So…it's good?" she asked

"A bit too sweet." No weird expressions, no red face, no exuberant exclamations of love. "Is there anything else, fukutaicho?"

"No…I'll tell her you enjoyed it then…" there was a mixture of disappointment and fury in her voice, although the latter was barely noticeable. Byakuya wondered what had she expected to happen.

* * *

On the front row, Mayuri was silently laughing to himself. So, the little twit wasn't so stupid, eh? If her plan backfired, she could blame it all on Matsumoto. Smart, really smart. But since Byakuya wasn't showing any signs of interest to ANY woman in the room, there was the question if the potion actually worked. Maybe it had an early expiry date? No, that wasn't possible, for Mayuri would've stopped having hard-ons whenever he saw Soi Fong. Perhaps Byakuya's love for Hisana was stronger than anyone had thought? Kurotsuchi dismissed that idea as well-men weren't designed to love forever. (unless they are under the influence of a love potion that is).

Maybe there just wasn't a single woman in the room to catch his eye. Well, that was just well and good, since Mayuri had a woman to win himself.

"Agh!" he hissed, grabbing his head and pretending to be in pain. "Nemu! You stupid bitch, come here and help me!"

Everybody was staring at father and daughter, but that was exactly what he wanted. Nemu tried to find any cause of pain on his head, their hands intertwined and undid his mask. It fell into his lap, revealing his quite handsome face.

A few jaws hung open as he ran a hand through his hair, stretched his neck a few times and groaned.

"It appears it tightened it too much." He sighed. "How bothersome!" his eyes scanned the room behind half-closed lids to make sure Soi Fong was watching him.

And wasn't she watching?! She was staring at him as if he was a bar of chocolate. And she wasn't the only one. Suddenly (and to the great dismay of many), Mayuri had become the center of attention.

"Would you like me to fetch another one for you, Mayuri-sama?" Nemu asked

"No, never mind. I'll fix it after class." He purred low and leaned back on his chair "It's a refreshing change."

Nemu just gave her father a puzzled look. He never took off his mask, even though it was uncomfortable. He said it was stupid to let other lowly souls see his true face. And he was never so…relaxed. What had gotten into him?

* * *

A minute before the lesson started Sentaro and Kiyone got into a fight, which resulted in a sprained ankle for Sentaro. Nanao, who was on the brick of her nerves, was about to start screaming out when she caught a glimpse of something and suddenly, got an idea.

"Today's lesson-Relationships." She announced. Since she and her captain were also leaving for the Living world, she was wearing a simple sleeveless blue shirt and a denim skirt, her hair tied in a pony tail. Nanao tried to ignore the wolfish stares Shunsui was throwing her and continued her lecture, voice flat and expressionless. "To illustrate my point, I've asked two of my fellow shinigami to perform a dance. Kiyone-san, Ikkaku-san…"

They looked…outstanding. Kiyone, probably figuring that the occasion called for a formal dress, had dug out a fancy black frock. Sentaro was carefully looking at her. She seemed perfectly at ease, even though she was not very used to wearing dresses. And she was actually SMILING! It was like those happy moments before Kaien-fukutaicho's death, when there was not a constant rivalry between them, when they didn't have to look after their taicho, when they didn't fight all the time.

Memories…Kaien fukutaicho looked after things, he and Kiyone could bully the other seats, go out drinking together…fighting back then was fun. Now everything was sad and complicated. No more carefree. It was like they grew up too fast.

But looking at Ikkaku, he couldn't help but laugh. The 3rd seat of the 11th division looked so out of place in his black tux, tight pants and polished shoes.

"A relationship is a like a dance…" Nanao began "Both partners rely on each other. They trust each other, and it is very important that you do not betray that trust. Both partners are close…" she gestured towards Kiyone and Ikkaku who were clumsily tying to dance. "In a relationship you have to understand each other, and get the small hints the other gives you. So…" she turned to her audience "When your girlfriend says 'I feel like I'm twenty years older than I should be', she actually means 'Please, comfort me! Prove me wrong!'. You most definitely musn't say something like 'Yeah, what else is new?'. Lines like that can be the death of a relationship. Women need assurance, so be absolutely honest with them and don't talk riddles!"

Nanao talked for a little while, then Matsumoto stepped forward.

"So…since we've got to suspend the courses, we'll give you a small homework."

Most men didn't listen. Eyes locked at the door, thinking about the fastest way to get out of the academy, they only caught glimpses of what she said.

"Your assignment is to take a woman out in the next two weeks." Matsumoto announced.

Thud. Curse. Somebody tripped over their own legs as they were madly dashing towards the door. Startled looks. Byakuya fell out of his chair.

"And…" Matsumoto grinned "You're going to give a full and honest report of it afterwards. Complete with the account of your date."

All the men looked at each other and thought: "Oh, shit!"

* * *

A/N-Ever heard 'L'Ultima Notte' My Josh Groban? Wonderful song. Now, be dears and leave a review as a birthday present for yours truly puppy eyes


	16. Second son

* * *

**Second son**

"After our evil elders chased my beloved sister away from the clan, I spent countless days searching for her, but in vain. Even though she was no longer in our favor, I constantly prayed that she found a sanctuary and now that I've found her and I know she has, I cannot find the words to thank you for your generosity and kindness."

Once again Yuzu's eyes were watering, Isshin was on the brick of tears and Ichigo was wondering if he hadn't fallen through the wrong gate on his way back from Soul Society. But no-Kuchiki Byakuya was just standing in his kitchen, with Rukia a few steps behind him, throwing the desperate samurai act. Of course, Karin never bought it, but his father and Yuzu were…well, too easy to fool.

"And…how did you find her?" Karin asked

"Soon after her…exile, the clan elders set their sites on me. You see, I'm supposedly the head of the clan and my duty is, before all, to produce an heir. But I was so preoccupied with looking for Rukia that they thought their positions were endangered. They needed a marionette, you see, somebody they could control. I refused to submit. Soon, I got fired, and all the money I possessed was…stolen. Or so they said at the bank. And while I was wondering what to do, I ran into Rukia. She told me what your family had done for her, and I must use the opportunity to offer my sincerest gratitude."

He bowed. HE BOWED! Kuchiki Byakuya, the high and mighty Kuchiki Byakuya, the head of one of Seiretei's most powerful clans, was BOWING to the family of no other than Kurosaki Ichigo-the ryoka, the boy, the nuisance. Ichigo couldn't miss the irony-the very same man who looked down on him was now standing humble before his family.

Of course, his moment of glory would've been much, much sweeter if this wasn't a show. While they were acquiring their gigais (and getting Kon out of Ichigo's body), Rukia had explained to her brother that, in order not to cause suspicion in her foster family, she had offered them a different version of her life (or as Ichigo bluntly put it "She lied to my stupid old man so that she could get a room."). For their surprise, Byakuya had managed to assemble a story to justify his presence in mere seconds and he was playing the role of a grieving brother even better than Rukia was playing the role of an innocent victim at school.

"It's so sad…" Isshin cried, holding a hand up to his eyes and hugging Yuzu with the other. "It's so horrible that you should be wondering so much!"

"I'm afraid I distressed, you, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine, our old man is like that." Karin rolled her eyes "So, Kuchiki-san, what are you planning to do?"

"I will look for a job." He said "I may have no more money in the bank, but I happen to have enough laid aside for such emergencies. I'll manage it for a month or two, before I can restore my papers, get a steady position and hire an apartment."

"Hire an apartment!" Isshin looked completely shocked "But, my dear Byakuya, you're staying right here, and that's a final."

"WHAT!" Ichigo and Karin exclaimed in the same time.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"AND SINCE WHEN HAS THIS HOUSE BECOME A HOTEL!"

"Karin!" Yuzu scolded her sister "We can't just leave him like that. He can fall in the hands of bad people."

"He's a grown man, Yuzu!" Karin pointed out, while her older brother giving Byakuya death glares. The head of the Kuchiki clan got the hint, because he humbly said:

"I cannot trespass on your hospitality, Kurosaki-san…" he had a hard time saying '-san'. "I only wanted to make sure Rukia was alright, and to thank you for you kindness."

"Nonsense, we have plenty of rooms here and I'm sure you and Rukia-chan are eager to make up for the lost time." Isshin grinned

"Oi, you're making them sound like lovers…"

"Kuorsaki-san, I must insist…"

"Forget it, he's lost it." Karin yawned as Isshin ran to the live-size poster of Masaki and screamed: _"Mother, we have been blessed with a second son!" _

"Well then, I'll start dinner then." Yuzu got up, and Karin went back to her football. "Onii-chan, why don't you show Kuchiki-san your room."

"Wha…my room? What for!"

"What? We can't put him in the patient's room, right? Or you want him to sleep with the girls?" Karin asked slyly

"Alright, Byakuya, let me show you to my room, eh?" Ichigo laughed nervously and dragged him through the door.

* * *

Nanao was throwing venomous glances at Shunsui, as they were pacing through Karakura in their gigais.

"My Nanao-chan looks cranky." He cooed "What is it, my sweet, lovely, exuberant Nana…"

"That's enough!" she smacked him with her fan "Didn't you pay any attention when they instructed us to keep an eye on Karakura? They told us to be discreet."

"But my Nanao-chan, I'm discreetness itself."

She gave his bright pink shirt a glare and crossed her arms.

"I believe we're not supposed to attract attention. Calling me Nanao-chan doesn't exactly help."

"But everyone has pet names, my…"

"Not so loud!"

"Oh, really, if I call you a pet name I'll only show that I'm an affectionate husband. If you hit me on the head, people are bound to suspect something."

"You're not my husband." She hissed

"We're undercover, Nanao-chan. Being husband and wife will justify us sleeping in the same room."

"Wha…I don't recall Yamamoto-sou-taicho instructing us to sleep in the same room."

"If we're discovered and enemies attack, we could protect each other better if we're in the same room. Otherwise, we risk getting killed. And I can't afford losing my precious Nanao-chan, not for the world."

Nanao stared up at him. Here they are, looking for a way to stop a potential threat, and he was thinking of ways to get her in his bed. But then again…if they were pretending to be husband and wife, that meant she could keep a close eye on him…a very, very close eye.

* * *

"I'll get you a bed." Ichigo sighed as he put the bags on the floor. Byakuya gave the room a hypocritical look, and then to Ichigo's great surprise, opened the closet door.

"This will do perfectly." He sat on the blankets

"What are you…Is this some family trait?"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean…you don't sleep in closets in the mansion, right?"

"It has many advantages, especially against assassins."

"Who'd be stupid enough to attack you? I thought your reiatsu alone can kill a person."

"Indeed. But using spiritual energy is my last resort." Ichigo was giving him a blunt look, so Byakuya tried to explain "The zanpakuro, its shikai and bankai have a direct link with one's soul. In Seiretei, the soul and body are the same thing. If you do not control your emotions, an outburst of reiatsu may occur, which leads to zanpakuto release and even-banaki. An unauthorized bankai release calls for investigation, and I do not want to get that far."

"Are you out of your mind? If somebody tries to kill you, of course ya should take up an investigation!"

"Not in my case. Not ever."

"Why?"

Byakuya sighed.

"Let me put it in another way so you'd understand, Kurosaki. If one of your sister happens to get pregnant, what would you do?"

"What are you implying, you sick…"

"Your father…" Byakuya barely raised his voice so that he could out shout him "…would surely prefer to settle the problem with the other involved party, would he not?"

"Not before I beat the crap out of that guy! Jeez, Byakuya, my sisters are hardly 14 years old! If one of them got pregnant it would be against the law!"

"Let's suppose they're the right age and the young man is reluctant. Would you really drag him to court to settle this, out where everybody could learn about her disgrace?"

"Well, of course we'd talk to his family…" Ichigo paused, finally getting what Byakuya was going on about. "No way! You mean…"

"Family matters must be discussed with the family. Until captains are authorized to unleash bankai any time of the day, the closet will do just fine. You can tell your family I cannot sleep with the lights on and do not want to disturb your studying."

"What ever. It's not like I've got much to study for in the summer."

* * *

Back in Seiretei, Nemu was doing research in the Grand Library. Her father had requested a file of a battle which, for some reason wasn't in the computer database. If she was programmed to complain she'd be ranting so loud the whole building would shake. Because, since the complex was the size of 6 entire divisions, a full search through the documents, even with her abilities, would take many, many hours. So much for her Saturday night. Well, not that she actually had a night out, but it would've been unfair if she did. Her father was waiting for her in the main reading-room, and she couldn't delay her business.

Ukitake turned the corners when he heard the loud whistle of pages. He cocked his eyebrows, seeing Kurotsuchi Nemu turning the books over with the speed of a humming bird's wings. A few strands of jet-black hair had fallen out of her tight braid and flickering in her eyes, but she was too preoccupied to remove them. Ukitake stared at her elegant back, her slender arms, her small frame, bent over the enormous record, and felt as if he was in "North and South" by Elizabeth Gaskell, watching small children work in the cotton mills, swallowing particles and ensuring their deaths. Kurotsuchi Mayuri was a real slave-driver.

But still, she was beautiful. Her face was always frozen in that formal, official expression that made her look like a doll, but there was such care, such tenderness in her eyes that Juushiro couldn't help but feel sorry that she was cursed with such a father.

Nemu felt somebody's eyes burning her spine and looked up from her book to find Ukitake taicho, his eyes locked on her. She slowly pulled herself upwards, her hands automatically slowing down the pace in which they were turning the pages of the tome, not once breaking eye contact.

"Ukitake-taicho…" she bowed politely, making him start

"Ah, Kurotsuchi-san…" he bowed as well "I didn't…um…expect to find you here."

"Mayuri-sama wants me to do a research." She pointed at the book

"This looks…complex…" Jushiro stared at it. "Isn't there a faster way to go about this, Kurotsuchi-san?"

"Mayuri-sama says it's not in the computer database, and since it's urgent, I cannot waste time to look it up." she paused, torn between the feeling that she may get into trouble for slacking off and her desire to continue her interaction with Ukitake.

Meanwhile, Jushiro was smelling a rat, and it wasn't just the bad air conditioning in that place. Kurotsuchi didn't trust paper. You couldn't know who's seen them, he said. So why would he entrust any data, concerning him in the archive without making a computer copy first? This awfully looked like one of those stupid jobs he came up with to torture Nemu. He gritted his teeth.

"Let me help you with that, Kurotsuchi-san." He said, laying the book he was about to rent aside and sitting in front of one of the large tomes she had taken out.

"But, Ukitake-taicho…" she was about to object. To tell him that this was not going to be of any use. She was going to finish it faster if she were alone. But…

She smiled thankfully, and felt like a good child that had acquired some special privilege from her parents. "Thank you."

Ukitake looked up in her eyes and for a second they were just like any other woman's- warm, loving, beautiful…he knew he looked terribly stupid, but he couldn't stop looking at her.

* * *

As for Mayuri, he did have a good reason to keep Nemu in the library. One, because just this once he didn't need to follow him like a baby duckling everywhere. Now that his real face was revealed, and people got used to it (and they got used to it very quickly), he felt it was time to cure himself. If denial didn't work, perhaps accepting the problem (for one night of course), may cure it.

The second was that the Grand Library had a great view of the second division.

He saw captain Soi Fong leaving her office, and he flashed out of the library. Walking down the street, looking as if this was a random meeting, he ignored the crazy hormones and when she greeted him, he stopped and actually smiled at her.

"It's great that I saw you, Soi Fong taicho. I wanted to speak with you."

"What for?" now that he dropped that annoying mask, he was actually pretty handsome, but his voice still associated him with that mad scientist who liked to dissemble people…shinigami…whatever. This was going to take a lot of getting used to.

"It's simple. I'd like you to join me for dinner three days from now."

She just stared. Mayuri's smile became smugger as he leaned forward.

"And I won't take no for an answer."

* * *

A/N-Ok, this fic is sooo going to the M section. Expect that. Thanks for reading.


	17. Future with a major F

* * *

**Future with major F**

Mayuri stood smiling in front of Soi Fong for so long that his facial muscles hurt. In the academy, this trick usually worked whenever he got a booty call. Sadly, this wasn't the academy, and Soi Fong wouldn't be standing where she was standing now if she got easily intimidated.

In this case, she had to admit that she was taken aback a little. Her male colleagues, whether they were captains, lieutenants, correction cops or simple shinigami, saw her as a fighting unit. Another soldier. Never a woman. And since she wasn't helping them much, it was only natural that none of them noticed her. And now…

On the other hand, Mayuri wasn't exactly a guy you'd imagine asking you out during a lonesome Friday night. Hell, before he decided to give himself a break from that mask, everybody thought that Byakuya was the hottest babe in Seiretei…not that he wasn't, but now Mayuri was giving him some serious competition.

"What makes you think I don't have an appointment for that night?" Good, she wasn't declining, nor accepting. Stay neutral, girl, just like that.

"What, all night?" he knew very well that 'appointment' for her mean 'an assassination', but that didn't stop him from saying: "Can't you fit me in? Or maybe I can bring the food to your office, if you're too tired to come to mine afterwards."

"I never said so, I was just asking how did you know."

"If you are free, why didn't you tell me?"

"Maybe I'm curious."

"About?"

"Why are you asking me?"

Oh, she got him in the corner. Or…maybe not. Thanks to wearing his mask for such a long time, Mayuri had gotten used to hiding him thoughts from the trained eye, and his facial muscles hadn't gotten the hang of sudden twists yet. He just sighed:

"Look, we both know that this whole…course the SWA is having is just a pretext for other women to get whomever they like." He made sure he said 'other women' so that she would seem to stand out "You are not the type of person that would waste time in hunches. If you wanted somebody, you'd have claimed him by now. And I just want my research to continue. So how about we have this agreement?"

He took a step back, away from her reach, just in case she felt like stabbing him, but he didn't break eye contact even once.

"I will take you to dinner and we'll both spare each other the…discomforts of a real romantic encounter. I promise, you won't be sorry."

She pursed her lips and folded her hands, trying to show a respectful degree of disapproval of this insensitive way of putting things. Then she shrugged.

"I will come to your division at 9 o'clock. This better be good."

As Mayuri was giving her his weird smile, she considered this once again. She was aware he had spend some time in the 2nd division's special facilities (nut house), and 'dating' him wasn't going to pass without some stupid gossip and weird looks. But then Soi Fong smiled, and told herself: "Screw the gossip. I can do a lot worse than him."

* * *

Hinamori was pacing around her small lieutenant quarters, feeling as if the world around her was going to crumble to bits. Kuchiki taicho hadn't fallen in love with her. Toushiro wasn't doing anything for her. Damn it, was everyone going to abandon her?!

She paced and paced and felt her heart throbbing in her throat. There was no reason for her to be nervous-even if Byakuya suspected there was something in that tea, he wouldn't connect it with her. She'd be the last person he'd suspect. But still…still…why hadn't that worked? She had been sure he LIKED her, up to some degree. Ok, so Kuchiki taicho didn't like everyone, but there had to be some sympathy. She was cute! She had big brown eyes. She even fancied she resembled Rukia a little bit. How couldn't he like her?

There was a small degree of comfort in the fact that Byakuya hadn't taken a liking to ANY of the women in the room, but it was a really tiny one. Mayuri taicho was not the kind of man to make something that does not work and let it get away with it so easily. Then again, Byakuya wasn't the type that would shout out "My love!", run towards you and scoop you in his arms. (not that this wouldn't be nice).

There was a knock on the door, but Momo didn't answer it. She was devastated. All her life people made fun of her, used her…why couldn't they help her for once? Another knock, a bit less hesitant. That must be Kira, she thought grimly as she got up to open. Only he would stand in front of her door for as long as it took her to open.

"Um…hello!" he greeted her stiffly

"What is it, Kira-kun?" Hinamori stared at him grimly

"Well, I was wondering if you…I mean that…I mean us…I thought you had…work to write…no, paperwork to…um…break…let's have dinner!"

"What?" she blinked

Kira pulled himself together.

"I saw there was still light in your office and I thought you had a lot of paperwork to do. I…presumed you were very tired, and I thought you'd like me to take you out for dinner?"

Momo pursed her lips.

"If you're trying to use me to get away from the…"

"No, no…I was just…I hardly see you now days, it's not a romantic date…just dinner…with friends."

Momo opened her mouth, then closed it. Surely there would be no harm, but…what if Shiro-chan called and she wasn't there.

"I'm…expecting somebody." She said.

"Oh…" Kira looked disappointed "Some other time then…but, Hinamori-kun…you don't look so well. You're very pale and…"

"What do you know?!" she snapped, but then softened up when Kira's expression changed into a mask of pure horror "I'm fine…I'll have dinner with you some other time, ok?"

"Ok…" he smiled and left. Hinamori watched as he walked away, looking back at her from time to time, and sighed. Things are never what you wish them to be.

* * *

Just as Kira was leaving the 5th division, he passed a small sakura park. There were many people there, seated under the heavy trees, drinking sake and talking quietly. He slowed down, frowning-wasn't it a bit late for contemplating the cherry blossoms? Although the house of Kira wasn't as noble as the Kuchiki and the Kasumi-Otoogi households, but they usually got invited to such gatherings. Seeing the expensive, richly colored kimonos, he began to wonder what exactly was going on there. Nobles didn't usually go out without the proper ceremonies, let alone come so close to a division compound.

He got nearer, hiding behind a huge bush and listened.

"Surely, your information must be wrong…"

"I am telling you, my source cannot be doubted for anything in these two worlds!"

"But what fukutaicho would be bold enough to try and seduce our beloved leader?"

"It's not like there are too many to choose from. That Nanao Ise from the 8th seems like a shrewd woman!"

"I doubt it. She is known to follow proper procedure, she's not as dumb as to forget her place easily!"

"Besides, hasn't the younger Kyoraku monopolized her yet?"

"He may have monopolized her, but that does not mean she has monopolized HIM!"

"If he has chosen her in some way, she's the lesser evil here. Just think of the consequences, if that mannequin from the 12th tries to seduce him!"

"Kurotsuchi taicho has made it clear that she experiences no feelings, therefore-no ambition as well. She's not a threat."

"Hinamori-fukutaicho?"

"Too devoted to her work and too devoted to the traitor Aizen. We can safely count her out as well."

"What about the Kotetsu sisters? Can Kiyone Kotetsu even be counted as a lieutenant?"

"Can she even be counted as a woman?"

"They seem too preoccupied with their positions to care about a romantic relationship right now."

"That leaves…Matsumoto Rangiku of the 10th."

"She does seem the likeliest person to do that. That…"

"Surely, we must have more faith in our beloved leader? He's got refined tastes-he wouldn't fall for a whore like HER!"

"That's what you said right before he announced he was going to marry that Hisana."

"Isn't this a call for us to act? If Byakuya-sama does not marry to a woman of noble blood, we will be forced to accept that Rukia as our next leader…We must do something! Anything!"

"There is always a way, but we must take caution. If anyone should know…"

There was a hush of silk, indicating that the people were looking out for any eventual eavesdroppers. Kira sank lower to the ground, his knees already turning into butter. If they found him…

"This is not the right thing to do! Byakuya-sama would never forgive us if he found out!"

"But if he is pressed by the necessity, he will marry, and to someone truly refined and noble!"

"Last time that brilliant plan didn't work!"

"Because we underestimated her power over him. Now we do." There was an evil chuckle. "We mustn't let the clan fall to parish!"

Kira felt disgusted. These people…these words…how much cruelty and bitterness could these people hold. Then he snapped out of it-he had to get out of there. If he was right, Rukia-san was in danger. He had to warn her, he had to warn Kuchiki-taicho…

He tried sneaking out, but hit something. He looked up and met a pair of pitch black eyes.

* * *


	18. Love me when I'm gone

* * *

**Love me when I'm gone**

To Shunsui's great dismay, Nanao went out patrolling on her own. _"But Nanao-chan, what will they think of us if you don't stay with me?"_ He'd had a point, but she left her gigai in the bed, and that was all that mattered to the humans. Of course, her taicho hadn't been very pleased. It was the soul he wanted, and Nanao counted on him not doing anything funny to her body…or vise versa. She'd had gikon pills customary made just for her so that her gigai wouldn't put her in a compromising position, but she couldn't leave everything to chance. She would come back soon.

But for the time being, she decided to get her frustration and disappointment out by killing as much hollows as possible. She had such expectations for that course! She hoped that her captain might catch the little hits she'd been sending him, that he would finally realize how much she loved him and start acting seriously. How vain had her efforts been-as soon as they set foot in the living world, she couldn't keep him away from the sake.

When was he going to realize that life wasn't a game? That she wasn't a game? If somebody came around and offered her romance and comfort, she'd follow him and Shunsui wouldn't be able to do anything but stare…

But it was never going to happen, right, Nanao thought sadly. There wasn't a shinigami in the Gotei 13 that didn't know of Captain Kyoraku Shunsui's crush on his lieutenant, Ise Nanao, and there wasn't anyone who didn't think that she returned his affections either. Nobody would approach her-they were too honorable to do so. Really, he had gotten everything down to a T-telling everyone about his never-ending love for her and then all he had to do was sit back and wait for her to give up. Damn it.

Nanao slowed her pace as she reached the park. Finding a comfortable bench, she sat down and pulled her glasses on her forehead. Why did things have to be so complicated? If she made the move on him, it would seem like an insubordinate, totally unprofessional offence of a superior officer. Even if Shunsui…no, even if her taicho did not take it as such, what would the others say? What would happen to that hard-earned respect she had won and defended through all these centuries? Everybody thought she was a reliable person.

A sigh escaped her lips. If only he could be less irresistible! _"Then why don't you change divisions? Or try and take the __taishushiken? Given the situation, the 3__rd__, 5__th__ and 9__th__ would be killing each other to have you as their taicho." _

She tried shaking off that thought. She was a kido expert, not a warior-she'd hardly conversed with her zanpakuto, she couldn't remember the last time she used her shikai, and banaki couldn't even be considered. But…but she had experience in dealing with paperwork, she understood people, not to mention that she looked great in white.

No! Fashion couldn't detirmine important decisions like that! The Sou-taicho wouldn't allow her to be captain just because she looked good in a white haori.

"_They're desperate."_

Not that much. Never that desperate!

* * *

Suddenly, the air started to bizz with spiritual energy and a portal opened. Nanao jumped up, her hand going directly on the hilt of her zanpakuto. An opening of a gate here was not scheduled for today, definitely. Which meant that it was either an outbreak from Hueco Mundo, or an unauthorised passage.

Nanao hesitated. If this was an attack from Hueco Mundo, it wouldn't be just a minor Hollow or a Menos-what if there was an adjucha or even an arrancar. If it happened to be one of the espada they failed to capture, facing him alone would be…ok, maybe not equal to a suicitde, but it would be stupid nevertheless to face one alone. But if she sent a Hell Butterfly to fetch her captain it would give out his position. They were supposed to keep a low profile. And besides, her captain was bound to be rolling drunk on the floor by now…

However, her feares proved wrong when she felt no Hollow reiatsu, and saw three cloaked figures pass. Suspicious they were indeed, but definitely not Hollows. Sheathing her zanpakuto, she advanced towards them.

"The weather didn't seem favorable for a travel." She stated as she approached.

"Who are you?" One of the newcomers asked, and not very nicely. She narrowed her eyes.

"Fukutaicho of the 8th division of the Gotei 13, Ise Nanao. Identify yourselves and the purpose of your travel."

"We don't owe an explenation to the likes of you." The man looked down on her with a scowl "We are on special business of the Kuchiki clan."

"You are here on the orders of Kuchiki-taicho?" she looked at them suspiciously. They looked more like bouncers you'd assign guarding a night club. She always thought Kuchiki Byakuya carried out his own special missions himself, or if he couldn't-gave the assignment to somebody trustworthy. "I would like you to varify that."

"What?"

"Present the document with which Kuchiki-taicho assigns you. I must varify it."

"Why? We don't need to explain ourselves to the likes of you."

"I would advise you to watch your tongue." Nanao was usually a patient person (being with her captain did this to people), but she was itching to hit that smug bastard.

"Or what…fukutaicho?" he spat out.

"Oi, there's no time for this." One of his companions said "Let's just get going."

"Hey! Stop right there or I will use force."

"Yeah, you just try stopping us, you Rukongai brat!" he pulled something out of his cloak, something that really resembled a Hollow bate. Nanao stiffened. The men grinned and flashed away, dropping it on the ground. The world turned into a huge roar.

* * *

Ichigo was walking down the street, his bag casually thrown over his shoulder. Faithful to his crazy ideas, Kurosaki Isshin had secretly enrolled him for charm school, and now he was suffering three nights in a week.

Well, at least his old man gave him an excuse to get out of the house. It was tense enough with Rukia around, but Byakuya was driving him insane. There was no telling when he might say something that could get them in trouble, although when you thought about it, he was really on his most humble behavior. When he wasn't out "looking for a job", he helped out at the clinic, did some of the heavy lifting and even tidied the patients' rooms. He didn't complain once about the simplicity of Yuzu's cooking or the little space-he was determined to play the role of the humble brother to the end.

Even his dislike to Ichigo and Rukia's relationship (not that you could call it one) was expressed in a milder, more discreet way. Ichigo didn't know whether he should be thankful or alerted because of that behavior.

He passed a small playground near his school and noticed that there was somebody on the swings. Well, it wasn't very unusual, there were lots of children spirits hanging around there, and even though it was sad, it wouldn't attract his attention. No, this person was flesh and blood, and it was Rukia on top of all.

Curious, he turned and started walking towards her. Just as he was about to yell at her for sitting in the cold like that, there was a blast of orange fire and the playground was incinrated.

He gasped, feeling the air sucked out of his lungs. He tried calling out Rukia's name, but the words stuck in his throat. What happened? Did a meteor strike? Was she ok? She had to be ok, right? She was already dead. Right…

It took him about a mintue, enough for the heat to burn his skin, to realize that it was her gigai that had burnt, and that the playground was suddenly filled with anuchas and Hollows, all chasing Rukia's shinigami form. It took him just a second to jump out of his body and run towards her.

"Rukia!" he yelled, while slashing through a Hollow. The petite shinigami turned around to see who was calling her and an adjucha used this opportunity to crush her. Rukia jumped away, landing on her shoulder and turning, getting on her feet at once. However, the monster was too fast and prepared to finish her off before she could use Sode no Shirayuki.

Ichigo broke in a dead run towards her, leaped up, wrapped his arms around her and rolled them both away from the fireline.

"Rukia, are you alright?" he asked, looking at the petite woman in his arms. She tried coming up with a smart comeback, but the pain in her shoulder was too great. Seeing her delicate features twisted in an anguishing grimce, he felt his blood boil.

"Getsuga Tensho!" he yelled, unleashing his bankai on that lousy bunch of murderes and wiping them out, while estinguishing the fire on the playground in the process.

While the adrenalyn was draining from his blood, Ichigo realized Rukia was shaking. He sheathed his zanpakuto and wrapped his arms around her again, stroking her hair gently and whispering something comforting.

"Shh, it's ok now, don't worry."

"How can you say that…" she whimpered against his chest. Oh, if Byakuya saw this he'd lecture her on showing weakness in front of peasants, but…Byakuya wasn't there, right? "You…you shouldn't have interefered!"

"What?" he pulled away to look at her "How the hell can you say that? You could've died there!"

"I'd have deserved it. I was stupid to have let my guard down."

"What's gotten into you? We've saved each other thousands of times, what makes this one different?"

"I just…" Rukia turned her head "I shouldn't rely on anyone! How can I fulfill my duties as a shinigami if everybody just protects me."

"Idiot." He smiled "That's my line."

"But it's true!"

"Listen here…" he ruffled her hair "Nobody can be totally self-sufficient. During the war, even Yama-jii had to rely on somebody, Yachiro looked after Zaraki, Hitsugaya protected the 5th and even Byakuya had his ass saved by Hanararou, but nobody complained or had their pride hurt-that's war for you. Everybody covers somebody's back, that's how it is. Now really, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." She murmured

"It sure as hell doesn't look like nothing. Nothing doesn't make you cry."

She mumbled something muffled under her nose.

"Huh? I thought you said that you were scared."

"Yes! I was scared!" she snapped "I was scared because I thought I was gonna die!"

"Is that a bad thing?" he cocked his eyebrows

"Yes! Because I thought I was going to die without…" she opened her mouth and closed it stubbornly. "Forget it."

"The hell I won't! Tell me!"

"No."

"Rukia, tell me now!"

"No!"

"Rukia….please tell me." He looked her softly with his amber eyes. She pouted.

"That's not fair, Ichigo." He just kept looking her like…THAT! Not with the usual sarcastic scowl, not with anger and frustration, just with such warmth and kindness…god, he looked like he was about to smile! How could you resist that? "I was afraid that I would die without having told you…that I really…em…ok, that I love you. There I said it!" she covered her face with her hands, as if expecting a bomb to drop from the sky and finish off what those hollows had started.

Ichigo stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Um…" ok, not the smartest thing to say under the circumstases. Ok, Ichigo, pull yourself together, Zangetsu told him, don't let her think you don't care!

That's right, he told himself, that's right, I can't let her think that I don't care. Letting her walk away once was the biggest mistake he had ever made, and letting her slip away again would be just plain stupid!

"Rukia, I…excuse me for the slang, but why the hell couldn't you tell me earlier?"

"Huh?" her head snapped back, anger quickly replacing the embarassment "What do you mean? When could I tell you I loved you? While we were standing in the rain in the middle of the graveyard? While you were dying on the street? Right before you fought Nii-sama? While you were stopping my execution? If you haven't noticed, Ichigo, the only times when I have your full attention, the moment isn't appropriate!"

He stared blankly. Come to think of it…she was right. But now…

"Ok, I get it, I'm not very considerate. I understand." He cupped her cheek and flashed one of his rare smiles than made her knees give out. "Now…stop hiding your face and let's go back home. My old man is going to go berserk if we're not on time for dinner."

"Huh?" it was Rukia's turn to give him a weird look 'Ichigo, have you heard what I said?"

"Yeah, yeah." He turned back to face her, befoe re-entering his body "I love you too."

* * *

Shunsui looked up from the cup of sake he was offering to Nanao's gigai to find the real Nanao entering their hotel room. He couldn't help chuckling.

"Even when they can't see you, you're still so polite, Nanao-chan. What's the matter, afraid that I'd be busy?"

"Stop joking, taicho." She was going to smack him with her fan, but collapsed on her knees instead. Shunsui bolted up, finally noticing the pitiful state of her uniform, her dishevelled hair and her bruised sides.

"What's wrong? Did you get hurt?" he jumped out of his gigai and ran up to her side, helping her up and making her sit on the bed. "Don't worry, I'll send for a healer immediately."

"Don't be ridiculous, taicho, it would take them days to get the message. I've already healed most of the injuries, I just need some rest." Without another word, she collapsed on the bed with a relieved sigh. "To think that such a small thing would attract so many hollows…"

"What little thing, Nanao? I didn't feel anything the whole time!"

Nanao glanced at her gokan, who was obediently sipping sake with his gigai.

"I don't know. We were uspposed to keep a low profile, so I didn't make any spectacular spells. Besides, there was an outburst of Kurosaki-san's reiatsu. I suspect it clouded mine and hid the battle from you."

"Probably." Shunsui sighed "Well…what happened? Did you stumble upon a Hollow's nest?"

"No." she shook her head "I was…I don't know. There was an opening of a gate and some people arrived from Soul Society. I asked them about their purpose of coming and they dropped a hollow bate…Next thing I knew, I was surrounded by them and was fighting for my life."

Shunsui covered her with a blanket and storked her hair, trying to look carefree and relaxed…but on the inside, he swore that if he got his hands on those bastards, he'd tare them apart.

* * *

A/N-I hope you liked it. The title comes from the song "When I'm gone" by 3 doors down, you should listen to it. It's great. Thank you for your reviews, it's always a pleasure to read them. I'm off climbing mountains now, so don't expect a chappie in the next few days.


	19. Humanity

Song of the day: "How can we be lovers" by Michael Bolton, there's a nice clip on Youtube from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge.

Well, I'm back from my little trip, burned, with a headache, but full of inspiration to write. Thank you all for your kind reviews, it's always a pleasure to read them and I hope you like this chappie. Some Ukitake/Nemu this time, since it's only fair-I neglected them a lot. Please, don't lynch me because my French is preposterous.

* * *

**Humanity**

It was early evening in Seiretei-one of those sweet summer times when flowers shyly open their petals towards the darkening sky to drink the peaceful coolness before they settle in for the night; one of those times when children went out to play, when elders sat on the porch to eat strawberries and artists brought their canvas on the balcony to do their work in the open; it was that time of the day people call twilight and that can be compared to a cherry blossom-ephemeral beauty.

A perfect time to sit back, savor the moment, think over your plans of the future or turn your gaze towards the past, or share this moment with the person you love, or set a fire to your division, or go out on a fateful walk that may change your life for…But let's stick to the fire.

Kiyone and Sentaro had had one of their heated arguments, which went too far and ended with the kitchen of the 13th division in flames. Ukitake had managed to send for captain Hitsugaya before dashing in to save his subordinates, and thankfully, the 10th division captain arrived to put out the fire before there was any serious damage done to the small compound.

They were, as they say, lucky to have the 10th so near by. Only a small part of the 13th division compound was seriously damaged, and it could be fixed in a matter of a week. Since Ukitake didn't have many subordinates, the only ones that suffered were Kiyone and Sentaro, the former already on his feet and arranging for the repairs to begin as soon as possible. Hitsugaya, being respectful to his sensei, offered to accommodate the rest of the 13th division shinigami in his barracks, and Ukitake himself had gotten away with a smudged haori and a few scratches. So the problem was _"solved with surprisingly little inconvenience to himself"_ (Pride and Prejudice, if you're still wondering) and all he had to do was sit back and watch.

Ok, maybe not that little. He was lectured by Unohana taicho on subordinates' reckless battle for the seat of lieutenant, even though he already knew that. Kiyone and Sentaro kept on fighting, her on her hospital bed, him standing, with poor Isane squashed between them, on whose fault the fire was, and in the end they couldn't determine if it happened because Sentaro started it or because Kiyone wouldn't give it up.

Ukitake himself wasn't very pleased with this turn of circumstances. Thanks to his condition, he was automatically excluded from any serious physical labor and he was of no use in the office of the 10th, where Hitsugaya was getting irritated by Matsumoto and Matsumoto was flashing weird looks at the wall whenever lieutenant Hinamori's name came up in a conversation. The fact that breathing in some ashes miraculously lightened his cough was not helping either.

* * *

Walking on the familiar route towards his division, he noticed another figure that was not busy relaxing as the rest of the world. Noticing the short-skirted uniform and the black braid snaking down a perfectly straight back, he accelerated his pace and aligned himself with Kurotsuchi Nemu. She stopped and greeted him politely, while balancing a big stack of library books in her hands. One of them was slipping away, and Ukitake hurried to catch it and put it back into place.

"_Beginner's Romantic French-Le meilleur guide en la langue français pour les nulles"_ was the title, written in huge golden letters over a purple cover, completed with blooming roses and gravity-defining pump cupids with sparrow's wings. Jushiro turned a few pages and then quickly slammed it shut-who on Earth would have the nerve to write such a vulgar book was beyond his compre…oh, that one. He turned the book to see the author and chuckled-the old bastard had given a 20 year-old photo to the publisher.

He looked at Nemu, who was staring at him curiously and waiting for him to finish with the book. Ukitake smiled and returned it to her, but not before he saw her hands shake a little.

"Kurotsuchi-san, aren't those books a little heavy?" he asked, while eyeing the stack and wondering exactly how much had she taken from the library

"I do not know." She titled her head on the side, looking slightly confused. "The weight of the stack is about 6 kilograms, which is not much."

"Six kilograms?" Ukitake quickly changed that into pounds and the number was far from his liking. "Give me those, you cannot be loading yourself like a mule just for the sake of…of whatever these books are for!"

"Mayuri-sama required them for a research" there was no reproach in her voice, even though he had dismissed what probably was hours spend in research through those dusty shelves in the library as pointless.

"I understand." He quickly tried to fix things "But surely you shouldn't burden yourself like that. It's dangerous."

"How so?" she was still reluctant to let go of the pile, but Ukitake used the slight hesitation to pull them away from her and carry them himself.

It took him a second to realize the oh so stupid mistake he had done-the weight, combined with the extreme pressure in his lungs and his recent predicament caused him to slump forward and shake violently while coughing madly.

Nemu ran to his aid, knocking out the books from his hands so that they wouldn't get in the way and making him sit down next to a wall. With no hesitation or panic, she ran over his sleeves, looking for the pills he kept in case of a sudden attack.

When she finally found them, he was already seeing double. His world was spinning, his head was throbbing and his heart felt like exploding. Hell, Ukitake couldn't even tell where he was, but then he felt two small, soft lips press on him and two strong hands pulling his head back.

Stunned, he blinked and made out Nemu's clear, pale face and realized it was her hands on his neck. Her eyes were closed, but she seemed aware of what she was doing as she used her tongue to administer two pills into his throat and used her fingers to relax his muscles enough to let them pass.

The whole moment took no more than a few seconds, and when she pulled away the first thing she did was hold him still until the relapse was over. Then she checked his pulse carefully and ran to a nearby source to bring him some water. Even though his throat hurt and his body was completely drained, Ukitake realized he hadn't felt better in months.

"Are you sure you are better?" Nemu asked, and he nodded stiffly. Even though he was rather on the shaken side, she decided it was best not to argue with him and gathered the books from the ground. "Then I shall be on my way. Please consult a physician, it would be best."

"I'm fine. But please, leave those books to me!" finding the strength to both move and speak, Ukitake rose and once again took the stack from her with the clear intention of helping. However, Nemu clearly knew better. Narrowing her eyes, she hesitated for a moment before abruptly grabbing the offending burden from him, putting them away on the ground and forcing him to sit down on a nearby bench with her arms on his shoulders.

"Nemu!" he exclaimed, forgetting about honorifics and politeness for a moment "What is the meaning of this?"

"You just suffered from a severe attack. Please, have some consideration for your health before thinking of others." Realizing how rude that sound, she quickly stepped away and bowed "My apologies. I thought it was the best thing to do under the circumstances. You may hit me now."

Ukitake blinked sheepishly.

"Hit you? Why would I do that?"

"Because I showed insubordination, and even though I am not of your division, I must be punished somehow. Mayuri-sama says that if a lower seat defies a superior officer, he or she must be absolutely punished because that is an act of defiance against the system and the authority of superior officers."

"Well…that's not far from the truth, but surely Kurotsuchi-taicho didn't mean that. After all, you did what you though was best and that does not deserve punishment." Ukitake, seeing that she was still reluctant to accept that concept, said the first thing that came to his mind "How about we have dinner together and we consider this your punishment? Unless of course your work can't be delayed."

"No. Mayuri-sama sent the whole division on a one week vacation, saying that he didn't want anybody to interfere with his work. After I make this delivery, he wants me to go and sleep over some of my fellow lieutenants and not come back. He said that everyone should enjoy an early Valentine's day holiday, and threatened that if anyone dared come back before it was out he'd castrate them with a rusty knife."

"Oh…I see…" No, he didn't.

"I do not see how that applies to me, as he claims I have no feelings, but I will cover some guard shifts for Ise-fukutaicho and Rukia-san. I do not get tired easily and I have nothing better to do."

"Oh…" Ukitake seemed fascinated "Well then, how about you take them with me? I don't have nothing else to do either, and my division's compound is unusable due to an accident…"

"Very well." She got up "Are you still willing to have dinner with me?"

"Yes!" he nodded readily and stood up "Let's go."

* * *

They sat in a small restaurant near the 8th division. Ukitake ordered two bowls of miso soup, as well as tempura and green tea, and an additional chair for Nemu to dispose the load of books. While they were waiting for their meal, he asked her why he father needed these.

"He wouldn't tell me. But he did say it was something new." Jushiro was about to say something, but then closed his mouth. For some reason, he couldn't help the feeling that there was something in Nemu he couldn't make out. Something that was so obvious and yet he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Ukitake taicho?" her voice snapped him back to reality.

"Hm…yes, Kurotsuchi-san?"

"Are you sure about patrolling with me?"

"Half of my division is burned and I'm not even allowed to do the paperwork reports. I don't like feeling useless, and I enjoy talking to you. You are a wonderful converser."

Nemu blushed slightly at the compliment, but looked uncertain.

"But taking on three shifts in a row is a very exhausting task. I can go on for days without sleep, but you must be very careful with your health."

Ukitake smiled brightly.

"I know what's it like to take long shifts, Nemu-san. Before the Gotei 13 was fully established I used to do a lot of patrolling on my own for many hours. Don't worry, I can handle it."

Nemu didn't say anything until they brought their food, but then suddenly looked up at him:

"May I ask you a question, Ukitake-taicho?"

"Of course?"

"Why?"

"What?" Ukitake realized that this wasn't going to get him the answer he wanted "Please, specify."

"When we were doing that exercise with the carrying on the course, when you sat down to help me in the library and now, when you insisted on carrying those books for me…why are you doing this? I am physically more adept to do these things, am I not? I have been created to endure things better and perform tasks more efficiently than any woman in the Gotei 13, and maybe even some men. Yet you always insist on giving me a hand, on…" she paused, looking for the correct expression "Helping me out, even though it may actually kill you. Why?"

"Oh…" now that was a lot of information to process "Well, Kurotsuchi-san, I suppose it's because that's the right thing to do."

"Getting yourself killed?"

"No…just treating women right. That's the point of the course, is it not-make the men more caring to women, right?"

"Up to some point, yes." She nodded

"Well, that's why? Men should help women out."

"But it's physically impossible to be nice to all the women in the world. And as I said, I am not in a need of help."

"Yes, but…" he paused, picking his words carefully "Well, I guess then you can call it being stubborn, but I don't like to see women who suffer. I am not denying the fact that you have a better capacity of executing chores than any other lieutenant, but to me it makes no difference. You are a lady, thus you have to be treated right."

"So basically you are being nice to me just because you don't think I'm different than your other female acquaintances."

"Basically, yes. But not in a bad way."

"But that is not correct." She frowned "You address me by my family name, whereas you address many other with their given name. And you do not insist on helping them like you did with me."

Oh-oh, that's right. Ukitake stared at her, trying to find some indication of a hidden meaning in that conversation, but there was no such. No ruse ness in her eyes, no mocking smirk on her lips-her face was just not made for those emotions. There was just plain logic, and when Ukitake outran her train of thought, the idea waiting on the station made his hair turn white all over.

"You saved my life today, and many other times during battle." He said, trying to distract her "It's only logical to be nice with you."

"But Unohana-taicho saves your life constantly and you don't take her on dinner and not allow her pay her part of the bill. Personally, I wouldn't call a dinner with you a punishment."

"Well, it's nice to go out with good friends every once and a while. Besides, I cannot hit you. In fact, I strongly disapprove of Kurotsuchi-taicho's methods. They can leave you handicapped for life." He stated

"I am Mayuri-sama's creation, he's in his right to do with me as he pleases."

Ukitake sighed. Even though Kurotsuchi looked better without his mask, he wouldn't hesitate to punch him in the face right now. That bastard!

"He's also obliged to look after you. He's your father." His voice got louder "It's his responsibility to assure your well-being." Ukitake looked at her "Even though you may be fine with the way he treats you, in the Living world such behavior is considered illegal and immoral! Nobody should be hitting their children, and your mother would agree to it!"

"I see your point…" Nemu said after a few moments of silence "However, I do not have a mother-I am a combination of gigai and gikon technology. Thus, the same principles do not count for me."

"That's ridiculous, of course they do."

"No, they do not. Allow me to explain…" Nemu rested her hands on the table and looked at the salt-shaker attentively, as if she was expecting it to grow hands and legs and step dance on the table "When you create children, you do that with love. That is why you feel protective of them and obliged to assure their well-being. Mayuri-sama built me for the sole purpose of being his assistant and lieutenant. I am a tool, created as such, and that is how I will always be. I suppose that is why he didn't give me feelings, because he thought they would flaw me."

Ukitake looked at her perfectly blue eyes and couldn't help but feel shaken by her words. Reaching through the table, he rested his hand on her shoulder and made her look up.

"When you're hurt, you cry, don't you?" she nodded sadly "When you're happy, you smile. When you're treated like a tool, you don't like it and you cry. When people are nice to you, you're happy and you smile, and I have to tell you that your smile is beautiful."

Nemu looked at him with surprise.

"One day, when you have a family of your own, you'll understand. You're not just a tool." He smiled

"Thank you…" she nodded, but there was still some hesitation in her eye "But I strongly doubt I will ever create a family of my own. I am not adept for that."

"Everybody is adept for that." He insisted.

"Not really. One can live without love…I mean…you and Kyoraku taicho are one of the oldest captains of the Gotei 13, but neither of you has ever been married, and with the exception of Kyoraku-taicho's love for Nanao-fukutaicho, neither has showed any inclination of engaging a woman in a serious relationship."

"That's true but…" he paused and wondered what to say and resorted in a very, very cliché idea "Sometimes, it takes a long time to find the right person, but that doesn't mean you'll never find him."

"Oh…I see…But how do I even look when I don't know what 'love' looks or feels like?"

"Just stay close to your friends and watch them. You'll see. Humanity isn't built in. And…" he added quickly, in the brick of a sudden inspiration "…Please, you can call me Jushiro from now on, that's how friends should address each-other."

"That would be hardly appropriate…" she began, but then smiled "But there will not be any harm, right?" he nodded, also smiling "Then…please call me Nemu."

Both smiled and the question of the 6 kilogram stack of books was not raised again.

* * *

A/N-Yeah, 6 kilos may not seem much, but my school bad weights about 4 or 5 in it's worst days. Go figure. Hope you liked this and have a nice week.


	20. Where is Kira kun?

* * *

**Where is Kira-kun?**

Opening the door with a loud thud, Hinamori stepped in the 10th division's office. Her hair was taken out of the usual bun and stylized with some gel, and she wore a very elaborate yukata. Truth to be told, she did look good. But seeing only Matsumoto in the office, her smile quickly withered.

"Where's Shiro-kun?" she asked crossly

"Not here." Matsumoto stated bluntly and focused on her paperwork (THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! Hitsugaya thought before leaving the office in a hurry)

"Then where is he?'

"Like I said, not here." She finally looked up from her desk "Going out?"

"Yes. It's my night off, actually, and we're having dinner together." She smiled "It's our special ritual, since a vice-captain gets a night off…a real night off that is…just….a couple of times in a century. And a captain rarely gets a night off. Shiro-chan's break is coming up…come to think of it. Hey, what do you think we should do? Dinner seems rather….casual at this point, right?"

"Taicho likes watermelons." Matsumoto eyed her, while trying to figure out just what _'at this point'_ meant

"He's got enough of them right here, and I'm quite sure he's sick of them. Maybe he needs a change of fruit. Maybe peach?" She smirked.

"Listen you, I'm not going to let you come in this office and insult me…" Matsumoto made a move to get up, but any potential catfight was prevented by the entry of no other than the Golden Apple of the dispute (hmm, too much fruits here).

"Momo? What's going on here?" Hitsugaya looked at his friend, and then at his fuming lieutenant "Matsumoto, how's the work going?"

"Oh…great, actually. It's going…great, taicho."

"Shiro-kun, Matsumoto won't tell me where Kira-kun is." Momo whined "I kept asking her nicely, but she wouldn't say a word."

"WHA?!" This time Matsumoto was on her feet before anything could stop her. Her desk shook violently "You asked where taicho was! Can't you tell the difference between Kira-kun and Shi…I mean, there's a difference. And anyway, how should I know where he is?"

"Well, you're the one that makes him drink all the time and he whines up with headaches in the end!"

"I DID NO SUCH THING! I'm not making Izuru drink, he comes with the gang whenever he pleases!"

"But you're the one pushing him into a degrading life! It's a bad thing, going out with you."

"That can be said both ways!"

"BE QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!" Hitsugaya yelled.

"But Shiro-chan, she's mean!"

"But Taicho, she's insulting me!"

"Quiet! Matsumoto, don't raise your voice at Hinamori. Hinamori, stop making useless implications." The two women finally quiet, Toushiro sighed "Matsumoto, do you have any idea where Kira fukutaicho might be?"

"Probably the 3rd division, buried under paperwork." She mumbled, her eyes focused on the form before her.

"Right. Hinamori, what are you doing here?'

"It's my night out. We're supposed to have dinner, remember." She pouted cutely.

"Oh…" he stated bluntly, while looking at her carefully. For the first time since he saw her that night, he realized she was a bit different. "Did you do something with your hair?"

"Yes." She sighed "Let's go."

"Oh, wait…" Hitsugaya tried to protest as he was being dragged out "I still have paperwork to do…"

"Leave it to Matsumoto…" Hinamori chipped merrily "She seems to have gotten a sudden interest in it anyway!"

* * *

Hitsugaya tried to look relaxed as he was walking with Momo down the street, but it was not working out. He was having the feeling she'd suddenly grow claws and rip him apart. As she was looking around for an ice restaurant, his mind drifted away to the scene he had witnessed back at the office.

He couldn't help but wonder at it. True, Matsumoto's attitude to Hinamori wasn't exactly suffocating cordial, as it was with him, but she was acting civilly around her. After Aizen's treachery, she was actually very sweet, trying to comfort her whenever possible. But now….Ok, so Momo wasn't exactly Little Miss Manners back then…But Hitsugaya had always thought that Matsumoto, if not letting people boss her around, would always know better.

So why that attitude? Had Momo said something terrible to her? Eyeing his best friend, Hitsugaya had to admit that sometimes there was no connection between her mouth and her brain….ok, maybe most of times…ok, nearly every time….OK, HYORINMARU, SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S SAYING! But surely….

"Don't tell me you're making excuses for her!" the ice dragon whined "Please, please, don't make excuses for her! I thought YOU ALWAYS KNEW BETTER!"

Hitsugaya ignored him. This was just going out to dinner with a friend, it wasn't something they weren't sued to doing.

"Oh, that's right…" she suddenly turned to look at him. "Where were you back then?"

"Oh, just showing captain Ukitake my quarters."

"Eh? Shiro-kun, I never thought you and captain Ukitake…." Momo suddenly took a few steps back, with a look of serious disappointment on her face

"What? No…his division just burned a little, and I offered to accommodate him and his men in my barracks."

"Oh…" she let out a relieved sigh "Well then, let's get go on, eh?"

Yeah, he thought, this was something he could handle. A nice, quiet dinner at a facny restaurant and….Hold on! Suddenly, their final assignment popped into his head. Could it be that Momo was….on a date with him!

* * *

Ukitake was trying put himself to sleep by counting the dots on the ceiling. Three, just three. He sighed-Toushiro-kun was a good captain, but he considered dirt a sign of bad leadership. Little dots on the ceiling stood no chance at all. Poor them!

With an exasperated sigh, he rolled over and got up. Hitsugaya's quarters were a nice place, very high up the barracks, with a great view over all of Seiretei. There was a plum of smoke coming from the 11th, as well as a mixture of battle cries and screams of pain. Usually, one would think there was a riot going on there, but that was the 11th after all.

The air over the 12th, however, was perfectly clear. The windows of Mayuri's lab were lit up like a Christmas decoration of a shopping mall, but the rest of the division was dark like a mausoleum. His eyes scanned the building carefully. The captain and lieutenant's quarters were supposed to be on the same level, but he couldn't find Nemu's room anywhere. Given the fact that Mayuri was such a narsist bastard, she probably had the smallest of chambers. Did she even have a window to her room? She was not capricious, but didn't she need fresh air now and then? Did Mayuri even give her the right to a room? Damn it, if he found out he'd been keeping her in a broom closet, he'd…

What? What would he do? And why all of the sudden…

Oh, yeah, because of that kiss. For some reason, just thinking about it made him turn red with embarrassment. Really, he couldn't figure out why he hadn't passed out on the street when she did that.

Well, technically, the more reasonable side of his brain thought, it was not a kiss. She simply administered a medicine into his system…mouth to mouth…her mouth on his mouth…her lips, her tongue…

Oh, boy, this was not good. Why was he feeling so…uptight and embarrassed? Maybe it was because he was a bit…oh, what's that word again…old-fashioned? Well, surely there was nothing wrong in being a gentleman, now. Why, he remembered the times when kissing, or seppun was considered barbaric and perverse, but that didn't mean he found it disgusting. No, but perhaps…he just thought of it as a very intimate gesture. Something lovers did in the privacy of their rooms, hidden from the world, as a token of their undying love for one another. Even now that the Gotei 13 accepted so many different habits from the West with the new flows of souls coming from America, he averted his gaze if he saw people kissing. Because he felt like a voyeur when he witnessed something like this.

Yes, it was childish, but there you have it. He was just uneasy when it came to kissing. And now that she kissed him, he'd be uneasy around her too. Damn it, why did he offer to take those shifts on with her?

But technically, it wasn't a kiss. She just put the pill where it had to go. Life savers on the beach did mouth to mouth all the time and they didn't feel bothered by it, not one bit. To make it a real kiss, there has to be some emotion in it?

Right? Right, of course!

But…

She did it with the desire to save his life. That was an emotion. Lifesavers did this for a living, but she didn't have to do it this way. She could have let him die, thinking that delivering the books to her captain was more important. That's how she was programmed, right? But instead, she risked bringing upon herself Mayuri's anger by staying with him and saving him.

It was a flash decision. She didn't like to watch people die.

She could've flashed him to the 4th. Wasn't that also going to save him?

Ukitake sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Well, there was no turning back now. He was going to take those shifts with her. If not else, it'd get him out of the offices for a while. But they were going to be so close…so very close…just thinking about her brought a red wave on Ukitake's face and he felt his hands trembling. Why?

He suddenly snapped up-could this be love? Surely, this was impossible! He knew that it felt nothing like this. It wasn't this awkward. Gosh, he watched Shunsui in love for the last century and a half and he didn't feel an urge to act….well, Shunsui-like. Or could this be just the first stage? Did this mean he'd act just like him afterwards?

He walked around his room. Ok, no reason to panic. Surely, he could handle this. But…if we follow that train of thought, could it be that he had really fallen in love for the first time? Sure, he had felt attracted to women before, but never felt real, burning love. To whom, really? Soi Fong never let anyone near her. Nanao and Rangiku were just good friends, and it would've been dishonorable to approach them in any other way. Retsu….she belonged to her job, her patients, her call, and besides, he wasn't her type, given the way she was looking at Zaraki taicho. As for Kiyone, Momo, Isane and the other girls….he had grown to think of them as his younger sisters. Aside from harboring the expected admiration to Shihoin Yoruichi (who didn't fall in love with her back then), he had never really experienced that sweeping emotion people described as love.

Up until now, that is. A little more and his knees would give away.

No, no! he scolded himself, that was not going to happen. Pull yourself together, man! Surely he could handle this.

He thought about that kiss….and needed to sit down again.

* * *

Matsumoto laid aside the form and run though the drawers of her desk to find something to drink. Lately, she hadn't had even a drop of sake and that was effecting her usual cheerfulness…and the fact that Momo was around didn't help much either. Damn it.

And what was that about Kira? Why did she ask her where he was? Of course, she wa trying to look sweet and innocent in front of Hitsugaya, but even Hinamori wouldn't ask something so stupid if he wasn't where she had looked for him.

Slowly rising to her feet, Rangiku thought that a little exercise to get the blood running would only do her good and she took a stroll to the 3rd division to check on her drinking buddy.

But for some reason, he wasn't there. The paperwork was piling up, threatening to hide his desk completely, but Kira was nowhere to be found. She looked through the barracks, entering the bathrooms without knocking and even checked under the cupboards. Nothing. It was strange. Given the amount of work that had piled up, he hadn't been in the office for several days, but it was nothing like Kira to skip work like that. What had happened?

She decided to look around their favorite pubs, in case the guy decided to drown his sorrow in sake again. Nobody should drown their sorrow in sake, at least not alone, she thought furiously as she crossed the streets on foot and enjoyed the feeling of blood running through her legs again. Sitting down so much was not good for the health, the thought.

To take a shortcut, she decided to pass through the noble shopping district-a place full of restaurants where only the smell of food could cost you your month's salary.

"Maybe Kira's inside…" she thought with a smile, but before she dismissed the idea, her eyes scanned the beautifully lit terraces. And just as her gaze fell on a couple of silhouettes, she felt her blood run cold. There was no way she could mistake her taicho's spiky hair. And that girl…that was definitely Hinamori. Why were they so close to each other…why was she leaning across the table…why was she kissing him? Was he kissing her back?

Right now, she thought she should do something. Go there. Say something. Scream. This wasn't what it looked like, right? Right! She knew it couldn't be but….

But she couldn't watch it anymore.

Slowly, Matsumoto turned away and walked back to the 10th division.

* * *

A/N-Sorry it took so long and sorry if it's not very good. Watch out for the next chapter, it may be...dangerous.


	21. Some people have no limits

* * *

**Some people have no limits**

Earlier that evening, before Matsumoto witnessed the strange shadow play on the terrace, Hitsugaya Toushiro was beginning to fell like a rat in a trap. Sure, he knew that the assignment had to be filled out sooner or later, but he had wanted to make it later rather than sooner. Given the huge amount of personal problems he was having, it was not surprise that the 10th division captain pushed that idea at the back of his head, where it lay undisturbed until he finally realized what Momo was doing.

As much as he was pleased with his new height, he found it a great disadvantage while walking down the street in the company of his vice captain. With his posture and severe look he looked like some nobleman that went out on a shopping with his concubine, and even thought it was a change from a kid walking around with his mom, it wasn't a welcome one. And now with Momo, there was no doubt that they were on a date. Good Lord, he was standing a good foot taller than her.

They sat in a nice restaurant with a great view of the busiest shopping street in Seiretei, so that when awkward silence fell (and that was very often), he would seek refuge in the site. Momo, on the other hand, obviously had a lot to talk about, or better said-to monologue about. Subject for tonight: Matsumoto and Kira.

"I mean, she obviously knew where he is, but she wouldn't tell me. I swear, Shiro-kun, I went to the 3rd to see how he is, but they told me he wasn't there! Something's going on between those two!"

"Huh?" Hitsugaya snapped into reality, while revising on his table manners. Open the door, bring out the chair, stand up when she goes to wash her hands…darn it, those gentleman rules were obviously created for a place with a more…Western decoration. How the hell was supposed to hold open a shoji door for her, or pull out a cushion and adjust it for her? "What do you mean something? What's happening to whom?"

"Oh, Shiro-kun, how can you be so dense?" she scolded him sweetly and smiled "I mean, didn't you notice she called him 'Izuru' and not 'Kira'? I'm telling you, there's something fishy going on? Do you think they're having a…you know….affair?" she whispered the last word so low he hardly heard her.

"What?" Matsumoto and Kira? No way! "How can you know?"

"Well, they're always going out together, and they usually end up drunk like a pair of puppies. You said it yourself that you caught them in a compromising position once."

"They were drowning their sorrow. People do that a lot recently." Hitsugaya frowned

"You don't, Shiro-kun."

"That doesn't make them lovers, Momo."

"Yeah, but she was the ex-mistress of his captain. Given the fact that Ichimaru-taicho was such a sick man, I won't blame Matsumoto if she sought refuge at a more decent man." She sighed dramatically "I actually feel sorry for her."

Hitsugaya felt hot under his collar, and it wasn't with discomfort. His hands began to tremble with rage and he clenched his fists in the safety of his captain's robes, hoping that Momo wouldn't see it from across the table.

Was this really possible? Kira? And Matsumoto? He was smart enough not to believe the stories bout her and Ichimaru Gin, but could it be possible that there was some truth in them? And now moving on his lieutenant? Ok, so Matsumoto wasn't an example of the perfectly humble Japanese lady, but she had principles. She had honor. And with Kira? He just couldn't make the picture.

"_Of course you can't." _Hyorinmaru snorted _"Rangiku and peach girl aren't that close to have such insides on their love lives. Haven't you noticed already that she's playing a game here? Of course you have! Now stop making excuses for her and let's get out of here, I'm getting a bad feeling."_

"Why? Because Momo's not as endowed as Matsumoto?"

"_That's just one of the reasons, but not the main one. I can't speak to Toubime."_

"I'm not leaving my friend behind just because you don't have someone to talk to."

"_No, you don't understand. She doesn't answer anything I ask her?"_

"Have you per chance asked her "Wanna find out if zanpakutos can have babies?"?"

"_As if! Haineko is more suited for that question. At least SHE has some sense of humor."_

"Is it a rule for zanpakutos to be funny or I'm just the only serious person in the office?"

_"The second."_ Hyorinmaru answered honestly_ "And to tell you the truth, Shiro, you need to do something about that attitude of yours. Acting like a grumpy baby doesn't suit your height any more."_

"What the…Anyway, what's so scary in the fact that you can't talk to Toubime? Aside from the fact that you're bored to tears."

"_Hey, if I cry, it'd be a lot colder here."_ If the dragon had arms, Hitsugaya thought, he'd be crossing them in front of his chest just like Matsumoto. _"But it is serious, for real. Zanpakuto can't remain silent…"_

"Something you've proven quite clearly…"

"_Let me finish. The only reason we are silent is because our link with out wielders is crushed. Something's wrong with Momo."_

"Are you sure she's just reluctant to hear some of your lousy jokes."

"_No way! I keep my lousy jokes only for Haineko."_ Hyorinmaru purred contentedly "Listen, Toubime would've answered, but I bet she can't even reach Momo right now. Something is keeping her back."

"That's ridiculous. A zanpakuto not speaking to its wielder after reaching shikai? I've never heard of such a thing."

"_Oh really? Did you know that Senbonzakura stopped talking to Byakuya aftr Hisana died? Do you know she spoke to him only after he almost lost his life while trying to save Rukia's life from Aizen? Yeah, as if Kuchiki will go that far as to embarrass himself in front of all you guys. Just like a man won't admit he can't get it up at the right time a warrior won't say he can't speak to his zanpakuto. Usually, what causes this is a severe psychological trauma, and if I'm not mistaken, Momo there suffered from one."_

Hitsugaya glanced at his friend, who was munching on the snacks happily, while smiling. Sure enough, she looked ok, but...was it possible that she still thought of Aizen? They all thought she'd be fine after she first got out of the coma (heartbroken, yes, but not violent at least), but she was still protecting him like crazy. Was it possible that she was still suffering?

Impossible, he shook his head. She wouldn't be trying so hard to achieve captain's position if she was still fond of Aizen. The captain's rank! He had completely forgotten about that! What if she brought up that subject now? What could he say? What excuses to make up? A part of him, a big one, wanted to tell her to sod off and deal with it the way everyone else did-by working hard and putting her selfishness aside. But whenever he thought he had the guts to tell her that, the face of the old lady that brought them up came out and he heard her say:

"_You're your only family. Look after each-other, rather than fight all along, because here nobody else will give a damn about you."_

Of course, this was not Rukongai and they didn't just die from malnutrition or beaten up in a corner by stronger kids, but it still felt as if he was betraying her.

* * *

Suddenly, his senses registered an interference with his personal space and he turned around to see Momo standing so close to him their knees were almost touching.

"Shiro-kun, you're too tense." She whispered, leaning closer. What was she doing? Why was she so close? Before he knew it, her lips were on his.

The shock drove all sanity out of his head, but he managed to pull away when she tried to separate his lips with her tongue.

Toushiro was panting for breath, but his survival instincts were screaming that if he didn't say anything smart, he'd lose something more important than his life.

"Momo…what are you doing?" ok, maybe not that smart.

"I just…" the hurt look in her eyes was just begging him to go there and hug her and kiss her a dozen times to make up for that foolish outburst, but behind the tears here was a look of anger that he really didn't like. "Shiro-kun, why did you step away?"

"Momo, Momo, it's ok, just don't cry." No nothing was ok, but still "Listen, you can't just kiss me in the middle of a restaurant."

"But we're in a private room. There's not even a servant at the door." Pointing out the obvious Momo tried again to get closer to him, but Hitsugaya quickly stepped back.

"I know there isn't…" his mind was racing "But…somebody can see us from the street. You remember what the general said, right? We may be in danger, and showing off in a public place like that can be dangerous."

Hinamori paused, her face becoming extremely blank. "Please let it work. Please let it work, please, please!" Hitsugaya prayed, and sent a prayer of thanks when a smile blossomed once again on Hinamori's lips.

"Yes…you're right…some other place…some other time…" she went back to eating as if nothing had happened. For the sake of his sanity, Hitsugaya hoped that this other place and time didn't come around until he figured a way out of this mess…or, better yet, didn't come at all.

* * *

Matsumoto popped her elbows on the table and stared flatly at the empty office. So it was true-places get their charm from the people that occupy them. Sure, she could fill ballrooms with charm, but without her taicho, staring severely at her and pushing her to do paperwork, it was just not the same. Everything was too….dark, too gloomy. Without having someone to tease, Matsumoto was feeling incomplete.

And perhaps she would stay incomplete. Before she came to Seiretei, nobody dared hire her. The called her a harlot, a fallen woman, nobody cared, nobody helped out. They just saw….big boobs and blond hair. How ridiculous! Of course she was a good person, a trustworthy person, her life as a shinigami proved it. Back then she found it irritating, but recently she had stopped paying attention-she didn't care, right? She had friends who loved her for what she really was and that was all that mattered.

But was this enough? Many people wanted to be friends with her, but who'd really want to be in love with her. Some friendship evolves into love at some point, or at least that's how she thought and HOPED things were. But the scene she witnessed was making her re-think her entire concept of the future. Up to that point, she had always thought that she'd get the man she wanted with little patience and a good dose of humor. But now her taicho, her Toushiro, whom she thought to be so tolerate and so good, was actually making out with Hinamori, even though she was a little manipulator and he knew it!

"_Ok, first of all, he wasn't making out with her. All you saw was shadows and anything might have happened…" _Haineko, concerned about Rangiku's sanity, tried to comfort her

"Like what? He got some wasabi on his face and she tried to lick it off?"

"_Well, given the little dog she is that won't be a surprise, but maybe you didn't see it right. Shadows can be deceptive. And anyway, the guy may not like her at all. He may just be doing her a favor as an old friend, taking her out and stuff. "_

"It doesn't help much."

"Do you really think you did the right thing, running away like that? Maybe it was all a misunderstanding."

"Right now, all I want to do is erase that image from my head." She sighed and looked around, then got on the first thing that could help her-paperwork.

* * *

Hitsugaya never remembered a day when he had showered so much. Growing up in Rukongai, where even having pluming was a luxury, he had grown used tio quick trips to the bathroom in between paperwork and…well, more paperwork. But, now it felt different. It took him an entire morning before he felt completely free of Hinamor's influence on him.

Gods, he had heard some men became obsessed with the smell of some women, but he never supposed it would happen to him. And now…on the pillow, on his clothes, his skin, everything felt like her and he did definitely not like the whole thing. It was…creepy and he felt a bit ashamed…perhaps all he had to do was avoid her for several days and keep to his office…and get clean bed sheets.

He found his fukutaicho fallen fast asleep on her desk, with different forms lying around her like fallen doves. Her hair was disheveled, her shikahuso had almost fallen off her shoulders and one of her hands was still trying to write a report.

"MATSUMOTO!"

He ran to her and tried to wake her up, but in vain-she was like a Snow White high on poisonous apples. A happy-go smile appeared on her face while he was shaking some life into her.

"Form A3 goes to pile 3, x2a2+b2, yes, I want some more ice cream, Mr. Chappy the bunny…."

Toushiro's hair stood on its edge as he ran to the door.

"Fukada! Quickly, get Unohana-taicho here, now!"

* * *

"Paperwork overload?" he stared at the 4th division captain as she was examining his fukutaicho. "I've never heard of such a thing!"

"It's normal, Hitsugaya taicho. Think of it as an…allergy."

"So…she wasn't kidding when she told me that paperwork was making her sick?"

Unohana's face turned mockingly-scolding.

"Hitsugaya taicho, paperwork overload is no laughing matter. You should've believed her." She smiled and got up "Anyway, I'll bring her over to the 4th division where she can rest and you can have her back by noon. Is that ok with you?"

"Perfect." He sweat dropped and sat down on his chair. Paperwork overload…who'd think that the woman who could out-drink Kyoraku Shunsui could be beaten by just a few piles of forms. But then again….he looked at the finished reports…so much…she must've been doing the all night. Why would she spend all this time here when she could do much better things?

His train of thought was stopped when a member of his division walked in, announcing a visitor. _"Don't let it be Hinamori, PLEASE don't let it be Hinamori!"_ he was relieved when the young woman that wlaked in the office wasn't the 5th division fukutaicho, but he was nevertheless surprised. Her black hair was arranged in an expensive style, with small, but fine jewels tucked in it, and she wore and elaborate silk furisode-not exactly a garment any shinigami could afford to have. And definitely not something one would wear for any meeting. He tried to identify her, but failed to.

"Hitsugaya Toushiro Taicho, I'm thankful for your receiving me…" she began, but tripped in her skirts and almost tumbled to the ground. A chicken popped out from under her skirt and started running around the office.

"Oh, no!" She squeaked "Leila-chan, come back here!"

The poor hen was quacking and circling the small room, leaving a trail of feathers and dropping whenever it went. The young woman chased after it, begging "Leila-chan, please come back in the sleeve, please, cluck-cluck…" She looked pretty freaked out, but Hitsugaya thought the poor chicken looked more frightened than both of them together.

He couldn't help but laugh when she finally caught it and scolded it ("Leila-chan, you naughty girl you should've stayed where you were supposed to.")

"Is there anything wrong with you, Hitsugaya taicho?"

"No." he wiped a tear "But may you please tell me why have to brought a chicken in my office?"

"Leila-chan is my pet." The girl stated "I couldn't leave her in the mansion, but I was not sure if it's appropriate to present her to you."

"Either way, what is it that you want?" he went into business mood again

"Oh, yes…I come in behalf of Kuchiki-sama. He's holding an Autumn party and he wants your presence. I bring a present for you." She pushed a small box filled with watermelon sweets in front of him. He picked it up, ready to ask her what the hell did that mean, but then he noticed some writing on the lid.

"_May we talk in private?"_

He eyed her. She seemed suspicious enough, but could a girl holding a chicken really hurt him?

"Please, step into my study and tell me more about the party." He said with a smile and opened the door to the terrace. She walked in, still holding Leila-chan, and waited for him to close the door and teak ea seat.

"May I speak?" she asked politely

"Go ahead. This room is completely sound-proof."

She sat down, adjusting her kimono, and looked at him. He noticed her eyes were grey, just like Byakuya's. Interesting.

"Where do I being?'

"You may tell me who you are…and what do you want…for starters." He eyed her "I know from personal experience nobles aren't interested in commoners, be them captains or not."

"Some nobles don't." she nodded "I am Kuchiki Midori, and I have come here on a special missing, concerning, I believe, both the Gotei 13 and our beloved leader-sama." He encouraged her to continue "Before I say anything, be assured that Kira-fukutaicho-san is alright. He just overheard a conversation that he shouldn't have, and put himself in great danger. My brother Shinji and I are protecting him, just for a while until this sheme is dissolved."

She tucked in a strand of hair behind her ear.

"As you know, there is a…sort of war going on in the Kuchiki clan concerning our next leader. Byakuya-sama's refusal to remarry has caused great distress to all of us. The family is split in two-there are those who wish an heir more than anything and there are those who wish a marionette. Sadly, the second are more ruthless, more cruel, and worst of all, our elders."

"And yourself?"

"I am a distant cousin and work for a small group that can count as the first type." She took a breath "The elders have been recently informed that a fukutaicho of the Gotei 13 is planning to seduce Byakuya-sama."

"And what does that have to do with me?" he eyed her suspiciously

"Be assured that I wouldn't be bothering you if it wasn't serious. Of course, all we want is for our leader to be happy, so we must find that woman immediately. Your fukutaicho is the first on the elder's suspicion list, and if she's not the lady in question, let me know now."

"Matsumoto isn't stupid enough to try and seduce Kuchiki-taicho. I'm sure she's not the one you're looking for."

"I don't plan to hurt her…" Midori began "But if you are acquainted with the lady, tell me who she is so that I can explain to her all the aspects of a potential relationship with out leader-sama. She'll be expected to give him a child."

Hitsugaya was trying to focus, but all of the time, Hinamori's face and that evaluation of potential captains involved in her plan came up in his head. Could it be that she had really set her sights on Byakuya? Did she really plan to bear him a child? No way! But still…

He looked at the girl and asked himself if he could trust her again. She looked decent enough, but was this problem that grave?

"Whomever that lady is, I'm sure she'll deal with it." He said.

"You're not telling me the whole truth." Midori stood up, and picked up Leila-chan. "But let me tell you this, Hitsugaya-taicho-whoever she is, she's in great danger. Even if she may consider this as an innocent flirt, many see it otherwise. And the elders wouldn't just want her out of sight-they'd want her dead."


	22. An unexpected discovery

As yesterday, I don't own Bleach. For Thingy, I repeat-This fic contains crack pairings, so proceed with caution, don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

**An unexpected discovery**

In the end, Hitsugaya congratulated with coming up with a fairly good compromise-he didn't tell Midori who might be Byakuya's mystery seductress, but he promised to keep an eye out and do everything in his power to prevent tragedy from happening. Before she left, she instructed him to keep absolutely quiet about their meeting.

_"Discreetness is of vital importance. Do not tell anyone what I just told you, because just like we look out for the well-being of our clan, the elders hold spies everywhere."_

_"What I don't understand is why do you work against each other. You all want an heir to the Kuchiki clan, correct?"_

_"Indeed. However, the elders still believe nobles can do anything and get away with it, and therefore, their methods are very drastic. They won't accept anyone to bear Kuchiki-sama's child but a lady of the highest nobility."_

_"Why?"_

_"They're easier to control, and some people would prefer us to parish to have commoner blood contain our veins."_

_"And you?"_

_She grinned._

_"My mother was a servant before she became my father's concubine. I'm as common as dirt, but I was accepted. We shouldn't let one of the oldest Seiretei clans parish because of some stupid prejudice."_

And now Hitsugaya was facing a big problem….several big problems. He had to make sure Matsumoto was safe from anything those elders could do to her, without worrying her. He couldn't place guards in front of her room in the 4th, and he couldn't stay with her because that was too close to Hinamori's division.

And that brought him to his other problem-Hinamori. There was no doubt she was the one planning to seduce Byakuya, and he had to have a long talk with her, about what will happen if such a relationship occurs and that she's in danger…but he didn't want. Thanks to her kissing him last night he didn't want to be anywhere near her, at least until that craziness was over.

And what the hell was he supposed to tell her? Hitsugaya looked at Yukishiro the kitty, who was licking her paws and was mewing in front of him. So far Matsumoto had been looking after her. Getting to his feet, Hitsugaya went to fetch her some milk and scrateched her between her ears while she was drinking.

What to tell Momo? Give up your plan to seduce Kuchiki Byakuya, his family wants you to bear him a child? If you don't stop dating Kuchiki Byakuya, I'll challenge him to a duel. Wasn't that a bit possessive? Would she take it the wrong way? Hitsugaya really liked her, but not the way he liked Matsumoto. Now Rangiku, his Rangiku….

"Hey, wait, she's not my Rangiku, right!" The kitty mewed in response. Toushiro looked at it. "Then again, you sleep in her room, right? Where are you going to go when she's in the 4th?" another mew, a questioning look. He sighed "Fine, fine, you can sleep with me, but that's just for now, got it!"

Mew. That's a yes, he guessed.

* * *

Nanao was lying in the bed, casually having stepped out of her gigai to phase out Shunsui's gikon, who was writing poetry and was asking her opinion every ten seconds. It was her captain's turn to patrol, which left her with some time to read her book. The former exercise was exhausting, because the book was, quite frankly, annoying her out of her skull.

It was supposed to be a humorous romantic novel about the lives of some women in a pretty village, where a lovely city girl comes to spend the summer. So far so good, but the bachelors of the village are all competing for the heart of some or other woman, sometimes for the hearts of two at the same time, or even of three. The romantic triangles, cubes and hexagons were all public knowledge and the gossipers were only pouring oil in the fire with their remarks.

It was supposed to be funny, but Nanao couldn't stop herself from being irritated. All everybody seemed to care was livestock. Livestock and old maids. Oh, how lucky were the girls who could count the cows their suitors possessed. Oh, how foolish were those who let some lame principles distract them from marrying a man who has a whole horse!

Nanao was itching to kick the book right in the trash bin. Dear Gods, Brook, the main heroine, was so ugly she could make a dog cry-instead of counting kettle, she should be happy there's actually a man included in the package. A very decent man, because Randy, the village beau, who was falling behind the rich land owner with half a horse and a whole village, saved her niece Angel after she fell off a donkey.

However, humoresque or not, the novel brought out some stuff to think about. Has men always thought of women as bearers of children and cooks that look after them, bring them lunch while they work and keep the cock out of the hen house? And, more frighteningly, have women always considered the men as another way to help the family income? The guy with the more cows won, right? Nanao couldn't believe anyone would put that before love.

But, come to think about it, they were just as picky about men as modern women. With horror, Nanao realized that after some years, the members of the SWA would be just like the women on "Desperate Housewives"-not with nice houses, cool cars and dead husbands, but old and alone. Did she really expect young men to be throwing themselves at her feet after a century or two? Would her taicho really change until then? Heck, would he be really alive? How many scars did he have?

89.10, she recalled. When she was little and she played in the water basin with him, she used to get his clothes so wet she could count the cuts and bruises on his torso. Half of those scars were marking almost lethal wounds. It was a miracle he made it out of the war in one piece. Was it really such a good idea to keep refusing to go out on so much as a date with him, given the fact that she grew up on his knee? Why try to change him with a course, going there and putting up with their useless blabbering was enough!

Ok, Nanao, she tried to comfort herself, just because you realized that you may lose the only man you love can die any minute without hearing so much as a "I love you" from you is not a reason for you to give up on a whole century of hard work keeping an icy, proud posture. She imagined him fighting with a hollow right now and wondered-would this be it? Why should I put good thing s off forever? Because of pride? She thought seriously about it, then went back to that playing in the water episode and said _"Oh, the hell with it!"_

When Kyoraku came back, without bothering about gikons and stuff, she stepped out of her gigai and threw herself at him.

* * *

The warm night spread all over Karakura slowly, like syrup on a pudding (do people really put syrup on a pudding? XD, we don't have that in my country). Crickets sang, flowers spread their aroma in the air, people went out in yukatas to buy some snacks and watch the stars from the rooftops.

Yuzu was returning from the shopping district, her hands loaded with bags, heavy like lead. Not that she liked to complain, but she always wished there was somebody to help her with those chores, just once. She wanted to enjoy the lovely evening just like everyone else, do something less demanding than cooking dinner for six people (not counting the patients at the clinic who also needed a meal). But then again, who else could she ask? Rukia-chan was so clueless lately, ever since she went out to greet Ichi-nii, they were both acting so weird. Karin-chan said he was growing, but she never told her what exactly that mean.

The younger twin sighed in frustration-there she was walking around, wondering what to make out of the situation, when everybody knew everything perfectly but refused to tell her. She wasn't a baby anymore, wasn't she?

Whether they liked it or not, the Kurosaki family was changed by the death of Masaki. Sometimes they said it was for good, but Yuzu always harbored a thought that they'd grow up eventually-it didn't have to take her mother's death for it to happen. Sometimes, sad tears of anger and self-pity came on her eyes, but she busied herself so that she wouldn't let them flow. Daddy didn't cry (for real, that is), Karin-chan didn't cry, Ichi-nii definitely didn't cry. Heck, even Rukia-chan and her brother didn't cry, and they'd gone through so much!

Her thoughts accidentally tracing to their two guests, Yuzu felt herself wondering what exactly the story of the Kuchki siblings was. Rukia-chan was so serious and stern, but sometimes she just wasn't herself (understand the times when she left her gikon in her body). Byakuya-san was an important man, yet he wasn't trying to sue the people who left him on the street, but instead contented himself with working part time in the clinic and spending quality time with his sister. And even though he claimed to be happy to have found Rukia, his expression never changed.

He was, although, very civil to them all, she had to admit that. He and Ichigo didn't really get along, but he never said a word about her brother's bad manners. He insisted on helping out and he even complimented her on her cooking (which was flattering, given the fact that he had grown up, fed by the best chefs in the world).

It must be hard, she thought, having to cope with the life of commoners.

Taking a shortcut through a side street, Yuzu passed a bunch of boys. Even though she wasn't 15 years old, she was beginning to shake off her childish looks, resulting frequent whistles from me non the street.

"Hey, cutie, how about you leave those bags and come have some fun with us." One of them yelled and tried to run after her. Yuzu quickened her pace. There was the exit.

"Wait up!" he yelled and reached out to grab her. Yuzu prepared to run. Somebody stepped in front of her. She bumped into his marble-like chest, but a strong hand held her so that she wouldn't fall.

"Hey!" the boy yelled "Who the hell are you?"

"Miss Yuzu, are you alright?" she looked up to see Kuchiki Byakuya, who was hoverin over her like a ghost. "Are those people bothering you?" he asked

"Who? Me?" she blinked "No, I'm fine."

"They seemed to have bothered you." He was eyeing the offensive boy as if he was wondering how to kill him.

"It's alright. Let's get going." She quickly stepped out on the busy street, carrying her bags and dragging him along. Byakuya gave the men another deadly look and followed her.

"They were bothering you, weren't they?" he eyed her carefully.

"Well, they didn't do anything wrong, right, Kuchiki-san? I'm fine, and I'm sure Ichi-nii will be glad to hear of this."

"I would rather not have him know."

"Why?"

"His gratitude is more than I can bear with, Miss Kurosaki. Allow me." He bent down and picked up her bags. Yuzu looked up at him.

"It's Yuzu. Not Miss Kurosaki."

"It's appropriate to call you Miss Kurosaki."

"And how will you call Karin-chan then? The second Miss Kurosaki."

He thought about it.

"Quite right, Yuzu-san." Byakuya nodded, then winced "Aren't those too heavy for a girl to carry?"

"I manage." She smiled. "It's my job, right?"

"To carry big bags?

"No…to look after the house. Cook, clean, do the laundry, go shopping."

"You should get someone to help you. Carrying weights is not an appropriate occupancy for a girl."

"I like doing it." She said back and let out a brave smile "I really don't mind if I don't get help."

* * *

Ichigo and Rukia had been acting weird after that little fight in the park, but thanks to the confession they threw afterwards, none of them was very eager to inform Byakuya of the change of situation. As a result he didn't know about the assassination attempt, nor about those people that ran around Karakura.

A bunch of them were actually following the head of the Kuchiki clan at that very moment. His behavior was, as they say, puzzling them, and they were beginning to suspect that Yuzu may be that mysterious fukutaicho. No, she had no strange reiatsu, but they could mask it, right? The unspoken conversation flickered between them as they moved, silent like falling leaves, and watched them from a distance.

Should they take her out now? After all, that was their mission. He did seem protective of her, so maybe it was the dangerous woman. Many were reluctant to attack in his presence, but after a short dispute, they decided to strike fast and accurately, and get it done with before he could understand what happened.

How sad it was, they didn't know that he was the second fastest Shinigami after Shihoin Yoruichi. Their movements seemed painfully slow to him, but before he could realize that he wasn't the target, they had almost reached Yuzu.

"Watch out!" He grabbed her around the shoulders and swung back, taking a part of the blow with his left hand. Turning to face the stunned assassins, with Yuzu in one of his arms and the bags in the other, he narrowed his eyes and mumbled bakudo no roku-juu-ichi, the six stave light prison. They froze, captured by the spell.

He looked down at Yuzu, who was still trying to figure out what's happened.

"A car was passing by." He said coolly "You might have been hit."

"Oh." She blinked "I see."

"Let us get going." He insisted, and started walking towards the Kurosaki clinic. While he was doing so, he made a mental note to retrieve those assassins later and question them. The spell was going to hold them for a while, but it wouldn't be a good idea to leave them lying around like that, right? Busy thinking, Byakya forgot that he was still carrying Yuzu.

* * *

"Tada ima." He said impassively, walking in the clinic. Since nobody answered, he figured that nobody was home and walked to the living room, where he disposed both Yuzu and the groceries.

"Are you alright?" he asked "The…car didn't hit you, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine." The girl, too stunned to realize she had been in grave danger, quietly squeaked "But your arm…you arm…it's bleeding!"

Byakuya looked at the torn sleeve with a mixture of annoyance and indifference.

"It's nothing." He stated finally, as if it was a stain on his coat.

"That's not good, sit down!" Yuzu ran to get the first aid kit "You have to get this fixed immediately, or else it's going to get worse!"

Of course, he knew that the wounds the gigai suffered wouldn't affect his shinigami form, but perhaps it was not something he should be telling her. She came back and started preparing bandages, so he sat down and started undoing his scarf. There was a pause before he reached for his shirt, and he looked at her again, this time very carefully. She was a child, but a child at the brick of adolescence. He really shouldn't be giving her strange ideas, and if Kurosaki walked in, he'd surely get the wrong idea…but refusing treatment of some sort would be suspicious, and she was a healer, just like Kotetsu Isane and Unohana Retsu.

Yuzu disinfected the cuts, before bandaging his upper arm. All the time, Byakuya stood absolutely still and looked at her face. Just as she was in the middle of her work, a smile crept across his face, and she noticed it. She raised and eyebrow and looked at his questioningly.

"What is wrong, Kuchiki-san?"

"Did you know that scowl of yours is a family trait?" the sound her produced could've been a snicker, if Kuchiki Byakuya snickered.

Yuzu let out a warm smile and finished the bandage.

"Yeah, you can say so." She patted his hand "There, you're all set. Now how about some tea?"

She hopped out of the room, leaving Byakuya alone to change. He put on his shirt and thought that it was best to go and check on the assassins. There could be more out there, and if they were after the Kurosaki family, he had to stop them. But…for some reason, he was beginning to feel hot under the collar (figuratively speaking). His heart rate suddenly speeded up and a blush started to make its way to his face. Byakuya closed his eyes, trying to get a hold of his body's strange reactions, but all he got was a messy sense of the world. Had those blades been poisoned? No, they wouldn't have tried to pierce Yuzu-san through the heart if they were poisonous. Yuzu…

Just remembering her name made him feel a sharp pang in the chest. He looked up in the direction of the kitchen, trying to regain his senses of the surrounding world. He heard her singing a tune while she was preparing tea and his throat went dry. What was the matter? The only time he remembered feeling like this was years away, and even then it wasn't so striking.

_Oh no_, he thought, _o-oh no-o-o-o!_

* * *

A/N-This chapter is dedicated to Terry Pratchett's "Wintersmith", if anyone wonders how the heck did I start thinking about farm animals all of the sudden. Oh, you're wondering if there's going to be Byakuya/Yuzu in this fic? Yeah, like he was going to take Myuri's love potion and get away with it. Ja ne, see you later.


	23. Punch love

Ouch...that brick hurt...anyway, I was aware that you may not like the pairing, but I never expected that you may find it funny. darkangel, he's not going to be a cradle robber and just to calm you guys down, this fic stays in the T section. You can't say I didn't warn you, there are a lot of crack pairings here.

* * *

**Punch love**

Kurosaki Ichigo wasn't a man that could get easily surprised. He fought with hollows and arrancars, he defeated Aizen and saved the world more times than he cared to remember, and he wouldn't get very far if he freaked out every time something unexpected turned up. But after he came home after training with Rukia and found Kuchiki Byakuya doing household chores, for a split second he thought the shock was going to finish him off.

"What the hell is going on here?" he babbled as he watched 'Mr. I'm too good for all of you lousy commoners' casually chop vegetables for the tempura Yuzu was cooking for dinner. "Oi, Byakuya, what happened to your arm?"

"A car." Was the short answer he condescended to give before going back to his occupation.

"A car was going to hit me and Byakuya-san pulled me out of the way." The youngest Kurosaki sibling explained "He really saved me, but now he wouldn't rest like I told him to."

"Nii-sama, you really shouldn't put so much pressure on your arm." Rukia tried to reason, but Byakuya just gave her a glacial look.

"Oi, you should listen to your sister, Byakuya. And besides, what's with the cooking? I thought you guys didn't even know what a kitchen is."

"Somebody should help your sister around the house and since I am now residing here it would be a sign of poor breeding if I didn't help. I'm rather surprised you let women carry such weighs."

"Byakuya-san was a little upset with the bags he found me carrying back from the market." Yuzu explained again to her stupefied brother.

"Yeah, well, I'm here now, so get out of the kitchen." Ichigo gritted his teeth and was about to add 'before I make you', but, irritated that he was, he couldn't fail to note that it was definitely not healthy to pose threats to a man with a kitchen knife. So he ignored the bitter comment and started to lay the table. He couldn't know that just standing up was a challenge to the Kuchiki nobleman.

But what could be done? How could Yuzu know what she was doing to poor Byakuya's heartbeat? Could she know that, unaware to both of them, he had taken a love potion that was kicking in slowly, but surely? Byakuya certainly didn't. He just thought it was the cause of all the commotion today. He was trying to convince himself that it would be gone after a good night's rest and that he wasn't falling in love with the small blond girl…but for some reason, things weren't going in that direction.

However, he wasn't the kind of man to give up to a problem. Some disruption in his emotions wasn't going to take him out, no sir, not him…right? Byakuya had been in love and married, so he knew the symptoms-the speeded heartbeat, the weak legs, the sweaty palms, but he had managed to get over them once, he could do it again. Right now it was important to seem as casual and normal as possible, as avoiding her would be very suspicious.

Of course, any sort of attachment was inconceivable. Gods, if Kurosaki Ichigo found out that Byakuya was developing a crush on his sister, he wouldn't let him hear the end of it. And the list of things that banned a possible relationship from happening was just beginning with that. She was too young. She was too immature. She was alive. But for some reason, whatever argument against falling in love with her came up, a dozen others came up to oppose it. She could grow up. He could wait. He could tell her the truth.

"Anything else?" he asked her after he finished chopping the vegetables. Actually, the proximity was soothing the symptoms in a way, so perhaps he would get over it quickly.

"No, that'll be enough. Thank you." She flushed a bright smile at him. He swallowed hard-ok, maybe not so quickly.

* * *

"How soon will you be able to wake them up?" Byakuya asked, as Urahara was working on the now sleeping assassins.

"It's a strong sedative, supposed to make them look like they're dead for at least 72 hours…But I wouldn't be worried. By tomorrow, I'll have them up and singing like little nightingales." Kisuke grinned "So who'd you piss off this time, Bya-kun?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't be bringing them over here for an examination, wouldn't I, former captain Urahara Kisuke." Actually, his first impulse on finding them unconscious where he left them was to slice them with Senbonzakura for trying to hurt a woman….but then again, he'd always been known for his sober judgment, it would've been stupid to betray it.

"Forgive me, Kuchiki-taicho, but if I was better acquainted with the situation, I'd get the job done quickly." Urahara pushed the carts on which the prisoners lay down the corridor to the lab and looked at Byakuya "I see you need them alive, but why do you want me to run a full range of tests on your blood?"

The nobleman looked away.

"I want to make sure their weapons were not poisoned. I don't feel like…myself lately."

"I doubt there's poison. They struck quickly, so their goal was to kill on sight. But then again…" he grinned "You do seem a little flushed."

A twitch in the noble's face indicated he was irritated, but he managed to control himself enough to say:

"Please, just run the tests."

"Do you want to do the honors, or should I have all the fun in questioning them?"

"The matter may be of a very delicate nature. Your waiting for me interrogating them would be highly appreciated."

"Of course." Urahara hid behind his fan and giggled-the battle had just began. Oh, Byakuya wasn't getting away that easily.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Seiretei, Ikkaku was facing a problem beyond his comprehension-should he sit quietly in the 11th and beat up the new recruits (ok, that wasn't a very quiet occupation), or spit on his pride and find Rei in Rukongai to try and persuade her into trying for the Shinigami Academy.

Ikkaku was starting to feel restless because she was not around. After that encounter in the arena and then in his room he was not finding pleasure even in fighting. Which, given the fact that this was the 11th, could be devastating to his status as 3rd seat. But what could he do? Having asked Isane and Unohana taicho (carefully) what might have caused the fevers and wet dreams, but nothing could have caused them other than the 'L' word. (It began with saying 'love', then you said you wanted a kido type sword and in the end you became a full pacifist-just perfect for the pansies in the 4th.)

So the reason was that Rei girl and Ikkaku had to find a way to meet her, and quickly. The Shinigami Academy was going to help them meet without having to jump over the gates or sneak in through the cracks, making suspicious excuses and lying to friends. Hell, with her love of fighting, they could end up as comrades in the 11th after a few years. The tricky part was finding her, since she was nowhere to be found.

In the end, it was Yumichika who made him go out in Rukongai and look for her.

"_Ikkaku, seeing you depressed is so un-beautiful." _His friend had crossed his arms in front of his chest and glared at him _"Don't give me stupid excuses, walking around and sulking as if you've just pissed yourself is degrading. Get out there and don't come back until you've regained some of your pride." _

Easier said than done, Ikkaku thought as he roamed the streets of the district where they met. He stopped by the place where they had fought, asked around, talked to the people in the houses. It turned out that he had been right, because of her reiatsu she couldn't stay in a family. No, nobody had seen her. No, nobody talked to her. No, she hadn't been around lately.

He was beginning to feel as if the search was hopeless, when while he walked down a street he noticed a door that looked as if it was sealed with bricks. Please, note looked as if. Paying closer attention, Ikkaku realized that the brickwork was drawn on a piece of cardboard. He reached out and pushed it, revealing a poorly lit room. He was stepped in carefully, with a hand on the hilt of his zanpakuto, but as soon as he set foot inside, the door slammed shut and somebody punched him in the face.

He cursed loudly and ducked to avoid another hit and reached out to respond properly to the assault, but his opponent was small and quick. She, because he realized it was a she, tried to stay behind his back, but when she tried to kick him, he quickly turned around and grabbed her leg.

"Damnit, woman…" he hissed, before realizing he had Rei's leg. She didn't give him time to be stupefied (or blush), before she quickly freed her self and grabbed him by the collar, throwing him all the way across the room and slamming him down on the mattress.

* * *

"Is this how ya treat all your guests?" he asked a few hours later, while he was slowly beginning to feel his legs again. Rei was playing with her hair, while studying the ceiling. The covers were thrown off the bed and the straw she used as filling was irritating him. "How the hell did ya know it was me?"

"Cause of the girly punch." She kicked him "Damn it, couldn't you open the door a bit more slowly? I think there are a few idiots left in Kusajishi that haven't seen it."

"Big deal. This place is a dump anyway."

"Ya think? Did the bucket under the leak give it away?" she laughed mockingly "Where do ya want me to live, stupid? Nobody wants me in their house, I make everyone hungry."

"No kiddin." He looked at her hungrily "Now seriously, how did you know?" he wanted to say _'How did you know that was what I needed?'_, but it sounded too girly. Rei just grinned and remained silent.

"I'll have to move now. Everyone knows I'm here now."

"Is that so bad?"

"Nah…I just have a bunch of guys I don't wanna deal with and now they'll probably be all over me the minute you walk your ass away from here."

"Then come to the Shinigami Academy. They'll teach ya how to deal with that reiatsu and they've got plenty of food."

"No thanks. I'd rather just change districts."

"Why not? Why do'ya hate shinigami so much?"

"Do I look like I hate shinigami? I just don't wanna become one of them stuck-up bastards that run around and think they owe the world. Pansies."

"Listen here, not everyone's stuck-up. And I can personally show ya that pansies are not allowed in my division."

"Oh, how sweet." She pinched his ass "But it still ain't happennin."

Ikkaku stared at her.

"Why?"

Her lips curved into a cold grimace and she rolled on her side with her back to him.

"Close the door on our way out."

"Wha…"

"You got what'cha needed, now leave me alone." She snapped, while throing him a glare over her shoulder "I don't wanna be seen around a shinigami like ya."

"Listen you…"

"I don't owe an explanation to anyone, especially you." She softened up a little. "Just let it drop."

* * *

Yoruichi was rolling with laughter. Cats usually can't roll with laughter, but she managed to do it somehow.

The goddess of Flash was lying in a comfortable couch in her old hideout in Seiretei, and watched Soi Fond frown. After she and her old protégée had settled their differences, Yoruichi had given her instructions on how to get there in case she 'needed something'. Now, the taicho of the 2nd division really needed something. Namely, some women's advice…and a good dress.

"I can't believe he actually asked you out." Yoruichi said between pants for breath and new outbursts of hysterical laughter "And you say he's walking around without his mask on?"

"Says it gives him room to breathe." Ok, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come here, but given the fact that she couldn't contact her mother, Soi Fong didn't really have a choice. There were a few people she could ask for advice in such situations and rely on their discreetness, but Nanao was in the living world and Nemu was on a patrol with captain Ukitake, so that left her former mentor. But even though Yoruichi's experience with men was undoubtedly the vastest, the other two wouldn't be laughing. "Yoruichi-sama, surely this can't be that funny."

"Sorry, but it is." Changing into her human form, Yoruichi stepped up and grabbed a dressing gown from the nearby chair and turned to Soi Fong "Kurotsuchi Mayuri, of all people, asking you out. It's hilarious."

"I don't see what other men have that he doesn't."

"Sense of limit. Decency. Basic Sensibility. Oh, the list is long, but since he's so nice to you, I guess that can be overlooked." The goddess of Flash sat on the table "But seriously, Soi, do you really want to go out with this guy? I mean a date is special…especially a…"

"Please, Yoruichi-sama, don't say such ridiculous things. It's just an assignment the rest of the girls in the SWA have come up with, like a…project of some sorts. Both of us don't care about it, so we just have dinner to pull it off and get on with our lives."

"Liar. If it was just about pulling it off, why would you be coming here to borrow a dress."

Ah, yes. That was a problem, Soi Fong thought as she recalled her mortification when, upon checking her wardrobe, she had discovered she didn't have anything that could pass as something one could wear on their date. They said there is a ravishing beauty lying dormant in every woman, thus in the depths of each wardrobe lied a dress, suitable for that ravishing beauty. W-R-O-N-G! All the 2nd division taicho found in her drawers were uniforms and sleeping robes.

As she was slowly getting irritated by Yoruichi's chuckling, Soi Fong told herself that it was more or less her fault for not keeping in touch with her feminine side. She shouldn't have refused going on that shopping spree with Matsumoto the last time they were on patrol in the Living World-her fashion sense was disastrous. But she hadn't expected anyone to ask her on a date, damn it! Hell, with her a captain's haori was fancy wear-whenever she couldn't stand the heat she just peeled it off along with her shikahusho and walked around the office in her chest binds. She couldn't care less, given that she knew who'd come into her office before they even thought about knocking on her door.

In the end, however, what's done was done and she needed some help. And in truth, Yoruichi's clothes were absolutely stunning-from richly embroidered kimonos, through little black dresses, all the way to silk dressing gowns and sexy lingerie, she had it all. Even though she claimed that clothes were uncomfortable, she did enjoy going shopping. But hey, don't all women do that?

"I just want to get it right. Is that a crime?" Soi Fong said

"Nope. I'm just surprised you can be so clueless." Yoruichi hooked one leg over the other "By the way, didn't you try to get away from the date by saying you're busy? So…it wouldn't be disastrous if you show up in your everyday wear."

"Right…Of course…" the Chinese woman scolded herself for her stupidity and looked embarrassingly at her feet "Guess I took all the way here for nothing, eh?"

"Nope. You came here because you need some professional advice." Yoruichi grinned "So…if the fact that you're having a date with Kurotsuchi taicho is not worrying you, then what is?"

"Well, I really don't know. Maybe it's because I never expected to be asked on a date that's troubling me…you know, it did come as a surprise up to some degree. I don't mind, really, I'm sure that we'll find a way to kill time, but I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do."

"The right thing to do? Jesus, Soi, you're not marrying the guy, are you?"

"Of course not, but…well, I am more than 200 years old, and the clock is ticking…"

Oh, boy, Yoruichi thought, so it really was true. The 'I'm getting too old' syndrome. Actually, compared to her, Soi Fong was still in the prime of her youth but…actually…If she was worried about what her life might be if she didn't get married, what was left to Yoruichi, who had lived in refuge for so long she had forgotten how old she really was.

"Well, you don't have to let the desire of having a husband trick you into taking a hasty decision you might regret all your life…that's what dates are for." But really, come to think of it, Soi Fong could do a lot worse than Kurotsuchi Mayuri.

And while such questions of vital importance were being discussed, other people busied themselves with more trivial tasks, like patrolling.

* * *

A/N-And just for the record, I'm planning a seperate Byakuya/Yuzu fic when I'm done with this one, as a sequel. I won't deny it, this is a big fic and perhaps there won't be enough space to make the pairing work until the end, and she has to grow up a bit too. Yes, I cannot imagine them having sex, not at this point, and quite frankly, I think this section needs more Yuzu fics, since the little there are about her pair her up with Hitsugaya or her sister. But Byakushi will wait for her. Jesus, what did you thought I'd do? Not every relationship has to revolve around sex. THere are things like platonic love and such. But anywya, tell me if you want a Byakuya/Yuzu sequel later on. Au revoir.


	24. Sea bunnies and jars

* * *

**Sea bunnies and jars**

It was scary to know your years are paying off. Now, Ukitake was glad to be out of his confinement in Hitsugaya's quarters, but he was beginning to discover that years really were taking their worth out of him. Nemu was walking in a steady, slow pace, occasionally saying hello to someone she knew, but poor Jushiro sometimes had to run after her to catch up.

Oh, how he used to like patrolling. With a good friend, it was always a blast. Not that Nemu wasn't great company, but she wasn't exactly an enthusiastic conversationalist, and quite frankly, Ukitake wasn't the same healthy, vital man he used to be. Up until now he had always tried to look on the bright side and enjoy life as it was, but he never thought about all the things it had taken away from him. And now, even though he was still young and strong, his body felt worn out and old. Compared to Nemu, he was like a walking corpse.

"You seem awfully quiet today, captain Ukitake." She looked at him "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Nemu-san. Please, I told you to call me Jushiro."

"My apologies, I seem to have gotten a habit of calling you captain."

"When we're alone, there's nothing wrong in you calling me Jushiro, you know. Nobody's going to scold you…." He looked at her suspiciously "Your father hasn't been punishing you for being late the other day, has he?"

"No. Mayuri-sama has been entirely devoted to his research. He does not care about such trivial things as the time. Besides, he prefers me out of the lab when he's busy. Says I am in his way."

"Tell me, what do you do when he tells you to stay out of the lab?"

"I usually go to my room and devote my time to improvement through reading. Mayuri-sama is repeatedly implying that I am not good enough to be his assistant, so I should keep to update with every new technology that may prove useful."

"Come on, he can't not want you to have a life."

"On the contraire, Mayuri-sama often says that I'll be better off if he put me to sleep."

That bastard, Ukitake thought, and to think he had such a sweet daughter.

"Well, self-improvement can't be what you do all the time."

"I have nothing better to do. In fact…" she blushed a little "I would rather study than do anything else. I feel worried, you see, that if Mayuri-sama is dissatisfied with my performance, he would really replace me with something better and he would shut me down."

She turned away, suddenly aware of the fact that she was red like a tomato.

"Nemu…" Ukitake placed his hand on her shoulder and she turned to look at him. Her eyes were shining with tears, but she looked determined not to break down in front of him. "Are you alright?"

"No, I am not…" she answered honestly "Because…because I recognize this emotion, and I am ashamed of feeling such fears. If I am terminated, I would have probably deserved it, and Mayuri-sama has the right to want the best fukutaicho possible. I should not be feeling, yet I do experience these emotions; I should have my systems checked, because it's a malfunction, yet I do not see anything wrong with them. And all of this is very confusing, so no, I am not alright, Jushiro-san."

Ukitake stared at her eyes, drowning in them while all the same looking for something to say. Then he did what he thought best to do. He gave her a hug and said: "It's ok to cry, Nemu."

* * *

"I am feeling better." She said after a few minutes "I apologize, I don't know what came over me."

"It's alright." Jushiro smiled "I'm glad you got your pain out."

"I….really want to find out why people cry. I mean…they do it when they are agitated or upset, but they say they feel better after a while."

"Well…it all depends. If you have a friendly shoulder to cry on, it does make you feel better."

"A friendly shoulder? Can body parts be friendly? And how can you determine their sentiments towards you? If a shoulder is friendly, can a hand be friendly as well?"

"Um…that's now quite what I mean." Ukitake sweat dropped.

"Oh? I remember some women say that you can tell if a man likes you if he gets an erection while looking at you. Does this mean that one can like somebody through their body parts?"

"No!" Ukitake was beginning to blush "What I meant was that…when you cry…and you have a good friend to listen to you and give you some advice…and who will keep your secrets if you wish him to…then it's nice to have shared. That's what a 'friendly shoulder to cry on' means."

"Oh…you mean it as a figure of speech." Nemu nodded "I understand."

"I'm glad." He breathed.

* * *

"So she actually chose the guy with the cows?" Shunsui mused as Nanao told him about the novel she had read 'Yare, Nanao-chan, if I knew you were so much into livestock, I'd have brought you over to my sister's husband's ranch. He's got all sorts of cattle there."

"It's not about the cows!" Nanao repeated for the tenth time this day "I'm telling you that I actually got some answers."

"About?"

"About….everything. It seems to me that women are so desperate to get somebody by their side that they actually jump the first guy that makes them a decent offer."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Nanao-chan, but weren't you considering me a bad catch? Or do you feel old already."

"No…" she paused "But the real reason why the SWA did this course wasn't to teach men how to be good with women, but to…well, model them to their wishes."

"But you think you can't wait for me to become a gentleman because until then it would be too late, correct?"

"No, I just…ugh, forget it, we're together, aren't we? Isn't that what you wanted?"

"No, it's not." Shunsui rolled over to look at her in the eyes "I want you to love me."

Nanao stared at him, then she smiled and kissed him.

"I already do."

Kyoraku grinned happily and looked around to make sure the world suited his mood.

"Yare, Nanao-chan, are you sure Yama-jii won't yell at us for slacking off the job."

"What are you saying? We're looking for hollows."

"On the beach?"

"Live-savers."

"And how will I explain the bruises?"

"You can say you've been stampeded over by a herd of sea bunnies."

Shunsui gave her puppy eyes.

"Will you be my sea bunny, Nanao-chan?"

"I'll think about it if you inflate that boat."

* * *

There's nothing as sweet and homely like sisters bonding through cooking. Even though one of the sisters is always complaining for not having gone out with her friends to play soccer. Rukia, Yuzu and Karin were sitting in the kitchen of the Kurosaki clinic, cleaning vegetables to store for the winter in jars. Rukia was humming a Chappy tune under her nose, Karin was leaning back on her chair, counting the dots on the ceiling, and Yuzu was stuffing cucumbers that were waiting to be...well, pickled. The youngest Kurosaki was having a small frown on her face, as if the poor vegetables had done something wrong.

Ichigo, who had been forced by Isshin to help them (under the threat of showing Rukia his boxers with Bugs bunny on them), walked in the kitchen, followed by Byakuya, carrying the last bags of groceries.

"We're back." Ichigo mumbled under his nose.

"Welcome." Yuzu greeted them with a warm smile. Do you guys need help with those?"

"We're cool." Ichigo sighed "Man, are we preparing for World War 3? With all these provisions, we'll last for another ice age!"

"It's a cold winter coming up, Ichigo." Rukia scolded him, but the look in her eyes was warm.

"Yeah, well, you know that saying, if lies have short feet than all the weathermen are dwarfs."

"Are you implying something, idiot!"

"Not at all, midget!"

"Ichi-nii, leave Rukia-chan alone and help me put away these." Yuzu called.

"Allow me." Byakuya pushed Ichigo aside and picked the crates of ready jars up, then carried them to the basement.

"Oi, if you dare drop them, I'll break you neck!" Ichigo yelled and ran after him to ensure the safety of the precious jars. Karin chuckled at their idiotic displays of manliness and looked over her twin to see her reaction. But Yuzu was looking more distracted than ever.

* * *

The men's work done, Ichigo sat down to watch TV, and Byakuya went to help Isshin check on the patients. The three girls were working while discussing the latest top subjects (ok, so Rukia spoke about Chappy, but that was irrelevant.) Somehow, the conversation turned to boys and Karin started explaining why the boys in her class were such wimp.

"Honestly…" the tomboy sighed "I'm wondering if they'll ever grow up."

"Rukia-chan…" Yuzu asked "What kind of man is your brother?"

"Hmm? Oh, Nii-sama is great. Mature and serious and…well, totally unlike the guys in school. He's very kind and generous and smart, and he's also very good to me…I don't deserve it."

"But…does he like silly jokes?"

"No. Nii-sama is way over such childishness. He adopted me in the Kuchiki clan and while every one looked down on me like a stray cat, he was attentive and caring to me." Ok, so maybe it wasn't all true, but he was her brother. "He married my sister, Hisana, you see, and she asked him in her dying breath to take care of me. He's never given up on that promise. Or on any other, to be honest."

"Oh, so he's been married…" for some reason, Yuzu's cheeks had colored in a fade shade of pink "So…he probably likes mature women."

"Well, I can't really tell what kind of girls he likes…" Rukia scratched her head "He's more or less given up on dating after she died fif…I mean five years ago."

"Five years ago? Wow, your bro doesn't waste his time." Karin raised her eyebrows "They must've married while they were still in university."

"Huh? Well, not really…"

"Oh, come on, Rukia. He can't be more than…25 years old."

"Well…yeah…kind of…" if you added a zero to that, you'd be closer to the actual count, but Rukia didn't want to freak them out. "But I guess he likes girls like Yuzu-sweet, gentle and caring."

Yuzu was turned to the oven while she said that, so thankfully Rukia attributed the blush to the heat. Little did she know it was from something totally different.

* * *

Matsumoto opened her eyes slowly, and the first thing she saw was the kitten, Yukishiro, snuggled in the crook of her arm.

"Hello there, Shiro-chan…" she cooed and stroked the cat's head. "How did you get here?" there was a small pout rising to her lips when she remembered what had gotten her into bed in the first place. "Oh, I've got paperwork to do."

"You really shouldn't get up." Isane popped on her side. While Matsumoto stared at her fellow lieutenant, she poured some water in a cup and offered it to her.

"Thanks…but how did I end up here?" Matsumoto looked around curiously "This is the 4th, right?"

"Yes. You captain called Unohana taicho after he found you collapsed on a pile of paperwork. It seems that you've done it all night long without a minute's rest."

"I don't see why you're so freaked out, he does it all the time." She yawned "I'm feeling much better now."

"Yeah, after 24 hours of sleep and a good dose of healing energy." Isane waved her finger at her "You shouldn't do reckless stuff, Matsumoto, especially all of the sudden. What happened?"

"Oh…" the kiss…the scene on the balcony. Oh, lots of things have happened, but she preferred to stay quiet about it. Stroking Yukishiro's head, Matsumoto felt that her mouth was filled with the bitter taste of jealousy "I just found a mouse at my flat and it was too late to call somebody to get it out, so I went back to the office, and then I was bored and I started to do paperwork and…hehe, I guess I got carried away."

Isane crossed her arms, showing she was not buying it one bit…but then she heard somebody calling her and her 3rd seat entered the room.

"Isane-fukutaicho, we've just taken in half of the 9th division. We need you in the main hall now."

"I'm coming." Isane called and turned to Matsumoto "You're telling me all about it later, Matsumoto, because there is no way a mouse can enter your flat while you've got Haineko."

Matsumoto sighed while petting Yukishiro.

"Shiro-chan…oh, why did I pick you such a name." she looked at the small thing "I wish I could call him that. Oh, Yukishiro, you're so dirty, has my taicho not given you a bath? Well, as soon as we're out of here, that's the first thing we're doing."

What she failed to notice was the miniature hell butterfly attached to the kitty's collar…a butterfly linking her directly to her captain.

* * *

A/N-Ok, so be assured, there won't be much action with Byakuya and Yuzu in this fic. However, I do plan a sequel just for them when she's grown up, so all of you who want to read it, please send me a PM, so that when I do start it, I'll let you know it's there. Lol, sorry for the inconveniece, but I just teld to upload a lot at once and it's not a good idea to have me on your Author's alert list.

Until later, I guess. Au revoir.


	25. A man in love

**

* * *

**

A man in love

Isane ran between the stretchers, running out of breath, out of reiatsu and out of patience. The 9th had obviously decided to have a fight with the 11th and of course, Hisagi's division had ended up with the most wounded. However, the acting captain had the stupidity of fighting against Zaraki Kenpachi, so Unohana taicho had run there to take care of the 11th, leaving her own fukutaicho to deal with the 9th.

"So tell me, why did you decide to go against Zaraki-taicho? You know he's still out of your league." Isane asked Hisagi, while she checked his temperature.

"I may not be strong enough, but I have the heart to beat him. Besides, I did leave him enough to remember me by." He staid in a stuck-up manner.

Oh, yeah, Isane thought, the 9th and the 11th pathologically hate each other's guts. It's wasn't because of some old rivalry, but it was more or less Zaraki that exposed Tousen as a traitor. The former captain of the 9th had pursued Kenpachi as a monster, while he was the true devil in disguise.

She sighed-of all the divisions, the 9th had suffered the most out of Aizen's treachery and the Winter War, and of all the people, perhaps Hisagi had been the most hurt. Sure enough, everybody had always doubted Ichimaru Gin, and even Aizen had been too good to be true, but Tousen had preached equality and justice all along, and even in his dying hours he was still maintaining that he was acting for the sake of people's wellbeing.

No wonder the 9th was so messed up-they had been so brainwashed they couldn't know what to do without their leader. Hisagi had been trying to pull them together, but he was crushing-slowly, but surely. She remembered Yachiru's theory, about Hisagi being gay. Ok, the shock of his captain's treachery had been greater than the others, but Isane was actually starting to wonder if there wasn't a grain of truth in what she said. Kira had turned his back on the emotional trauma ages ago, and even Hinamori was beginning to go back to her old self, but Hisagi still seemed shaken up.

Isane looked at him and felt like smacking him-there was this man, so proud and smart once, now turned into a half-assed pile of flesh. Cut flesh, she corrected herself, because Zaraki had sure pulled a number on him. Ok, so maybe smacking wouldn't help much, but surely a talk wouldn't hurt.

"Hisagi-san, I can see it hurts." She said and he looked at her, surprised "I see it may be hard for you, with the war and the treachery and all, but you mustn't give up."

"Wha…" he blinked

"I understand how you feel, even though I haven't experienced it myself, and I can imagine what it must be like trying to make something out of nothing. I'm not sure if fixing the broken pieces is better than building it all over again, but whatever it is, you mustn't risk your life, or the lives of your men, in silly quarrels."

"What quarrels? We were just having a training drill and things got a little out of hand." Hisagi tried to defend himself. And what was that stuff about broken pieces-why, was she talking about pottery all of the sudden? "Isane, I really don't get it."

"Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with it." She patted his shoulder after putting the final touches on his bandage. "After all, it's absolutely natural, some people are just different than others. But in time, you're sure to find someone better. Until then, try not to kill yourself!"

She ran off to help others, congratulating herself on a job well done, and leaving Hisagi in a more confused state than he had ever been in before.

* * *

Hitsugaya was irritated. One would think that with a vice-captain like Matsumoto having a low tolerance limit was absolutely normal, but in truth he was actually quite immune to people's stupidity.

Now, however, the Kuchiki elders were going on his nerves like a tribe of chimpanzees high on bananas. Just in two days he had to fight off ten assassins and chase away twice as many spies, sent to gather information about her so called 'conspiracy to seduce Kuchiki-sama'. Thanks to the little hell butterfly in Yukishiro's collar, he could make sure she was alright in the 4th, and he managed to exchange messages with Kuchiki Midori, getting updates on the current situation.

The assassins sent in the real world had been captured and there was no danger to the units dispatched in Karakura. Although Midori assured him that Byakuya was going to be notified as soon as he returns, Hitsugaya was still uneasy because the elders were not stupid. Not stupid as in they could suppose that Matsumoto may not be the perpetrator and therefore set their sites on other innocent fukutaichos.

He was still avoiding Hinamori, although now it was beginning to seem vital to talk to her frankly about the entire situation. Not only was the threatening the lives of her fellow shinigami with her reckless machinations to become captain, but she was also causing a serious problem in his life. Again because of Yukishiro's collar, he had gathered from Matsumoto's monologues that she had witnessed that "kiss" (aka. Torture) Hinamori had inflicted on him without his permission and she was thinking that it had been a confession of love.

In short, Hitsugaya was finding himself in a big mess. He had to find a way to make the Kuchiki elders think that they were wrong and that there was no danger to their precious Byakuya-sama falling into the wrong commoner hands (just the thought of those highly bastards made him wish that Byakuya got married to the lowliest of women in Rukongai and had a whole football team with her). He also had to find Hinamori and tell her that; 1-he was not interested in her whatsoever and 2-that she had to achieve captaincy the hard way. And last but not least-as soon as Matsumoto came back in the office, he had to explain to her that it was all a misunderstanding and that there was nothing going on between Momo and him.

Usually, Hyorinmaru would be bugging him with the question "Why?". Yes, why did it bother him that Rangiku thought he and Momo were…a couple? It was none of her business. But the ice dragon knew the truth, the truth Hitsugaya was starting to acknowledge-he was in love with her. No matter how you looked at it, he felt drawn to her and he couldn't imagine how his life would be without her hugs and laughter.

Because Matsumoto would never go after a taken man. No matter what they said, she was not that kind of woman. And Toushiro, quite frankly, couldn't imagine what her attitude towards him would be if she turned cold. No more smiles….no more laughter…no more skipping paperwork…no more hugs.

Just for the record, Hitsugaya hated it when she didn't skip paperwork.

* * *

Having done the last of their winter preparations, the Kurosaki family went on to enjoy the last month of summer. Isshin and Yuzu couldn't leave the clinic, but Ichigo and Rukia decided to go out with their gang to go bowling. Karin, having nothing to do came with them.

"Oi, Yuzu, are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Ichigo called as he was putting his shoes on.

"I'm fine, Ichi-nii." Yuzu looked up from the table where, under the pretext of teaching her ikebana (Japanese art of flower arrangement), Byakuya was actually offering her flowers. You couldn't deny that the noble had some style in doing his courting-he knew how to do it in secret from the girl's brother.

* * *

"Who'd have thought Byakuya was into flower arrangement." Ichigo mused as the three went out on the street and headed for the bowling alley.

"Don't say it so casually, Ichigo!" Rukia scolded him "Nii-sama is well acquainted with the fine arts, and there is nothing wrong in practicing ikebana. It's an old art, and he's had the privilege of being taught by the very founda…I mean one of the best in this sphere." She managed to correct herself before Karin noticed.

"Yeah, well, it is sophisticated." The girl ran her fingers through her shabby hair "But to me ikebana's not a man's job."

"Exactly. That's too…"

"Ichigo…" Rukia's stare could tell volumes, but the basic concept was: 'Dare call Nii-sama a pansy and I'll make your life a living hell.'. Thankfully, Ichigo got the message almost instantly.

"Of course, everyone's got their hobbies."

* * *

And hobbies like bowling had their benefits-sitting in the twilight of the alley, tucked comfortably in a bench, you could hold the one you love sweet nothings and share secrets. Or, in Ichigo's case, fight.

"Damn it, midget, I'm sure he's up to something!"

"Nii-sama is a nice person, Ichigo, what do you mean?"

"I mean he spends too much time at home. He patrols for two hours, 'looks for a job', and then spends the whole day around the clinic." Thankfully, the two had stepped out of their bodies, leaving their gikons to play with Ishida, Orihime, Chad, Tatsuki and Karin. The Quincy was deliberately losing so that he could make Orihime happy, and the busty girl laughed happily every time the ball didn't jump over to the other alley.

"Nii-sama shows his thanks to your father for putting him in, it's just a role, Ichigo."

"Look at me in the eye and tell me if you could spend so much time around my dad without freaking out." At this line, Rukia hesitated.

"Well…Nii-sama is the strongest of the Kuchiki-clan…"

"I'm telling you, he's up to something. Maybe he knows."

"About what? Ichigo, honestly, there is nothing wrong, or shameful in your house that could be the object of Nii-sama's inquest."

"Oh, so you do say there is something, but it's not worth the trouble?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, what I'm saying is that Nii-sama won't threat anyone in your family, he wouldn't. And just for the record, he's not so childish as to blackmail you because of your boxers."

"What….what boxers?"

"Stop playing dumb, you know what I mean." She crossed her arms triumphantly "There is nothing for him to find out and be upset about."

"Oh yeah?" There was a slight smirk on Ichigo's lips as he drew closer to her. "And what if he finds out I do this…" he wrapped his arm around her "And this…" he pulled her into his embrace "And this…" then he kissed her "…To his sister?"

Rukia smiled against his lips. "Yes…we definitely can't have him know about it."

On the alley, Orihime smiled at Ishida while looking back.

"Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san look great together, right?"

"Yeah…" he handed her the bowling ball "But let's focus on the game."

* * *

Ukitake wasn't sure if this wasn't turning into a hobby-going to Nanao's quarters, where Nemu had temporarily stationed herself, at least two hours before their designated patrolling time, sit together on a bench and talk until they had to set off, and stay up long after their duty was done. But so it was, and he found himself more and more fascinated by her.

Two days were up, and now it was time for their third night shift. She spoke about some interesting research she had read about, and he listened with one ear, while thinking about the smoothness of her skin and the silky feel of her hair. Her braid was, as always, thick and tight, and he was itching to undo it and let her bangs flow out freely. No, seriously, how could she stand this hairdo when her skull probably hurt like hell?

Nevertheless, walking around Rukongai at night wasn't an easy job and it was quite dangerous to space off for a long time. He kept a hand on his zanpakuto's hilt and stayed on guard while trying to maintain a carefree conversation. Nemu did likewise, and overall they were prepared for any physical attack that might occur to them.

But they weren't prepared for a mental attack, and when Ukitake fell on his knees, coughing and choking on blood, Nemu could only search for his medicine and administer it the same way she had a few days ago. But instead of a relief, the treatment caused Jushiro's face to flush red and him to pass out on the street.

Nemu, however, wasn't the kind to lose her cold-blood to any situation. After checking his pulse and making sure he was stable, she picked him up and carried him into a nearby building (at the moment, they were in a district that had been deserted since the winter war). Thankfully, the rooms of that house were still whole, and there were even some rags she could use as a futon for Jushiro.

She laid out a bed for him and checked his vitals again-he was fine, but his temperature was varying from hot to cold, and he was on his way of getting down with one hell of a fever. She mentally went through all the things she was advised to do in such situations (omitting her father's-leave the idiot to die), and remembered that in some occasions it was best to hold the person and let his body get some heat from yours. Without much hesitation, she pulled off his haori and shikahusho, as well as hers, and after covering them both up with some rags, wrapped her arms around him and held him until he finally calmed down.

* * *


	26. Reality crushes in

* * *

**Reality crashes in**

Soi Fong hesitated before entering the 12th division territory. What was the proper way to go when you were supposed to be on a date? She did say she would be coming from 'work', so the roof wouldn't be that unexpected. Then again, the guy knew as well as she did that this was nothing, a set up…a pity date, even (she hated the sound of it, but it was just how it was). There was a difference between playing the role and really grow into it.

Oh, no, she thought while she jumped off the roofs, she wasn't going to let him get a laugh out of it, she was going through the door!

* * *

Kurosaki Karin, age 14, smashed yet another football while she was practicing on the football field. Luckily, the people who owned the nearby sports centre had already invested a small sum of money into a "Karin-proof" insurance that covered any damaged sports goods. Right now, she was their best client and given that she was entering the difficult stages of adolescence, she was going to need more time to blow off the steam than ever.

Karin had been a realist ever since her mother died. Helping people came first, but she wasn't allowing herself to turn soft on anyone, because that would be the end of it. Naturally, one asks themselves what 'it' was. Maybe 'it' was the careless childhood, maybe 'it' was her one of a kind innocence, or maybe 'it' was the way she had managed to explain to herself this difficult reality, but no matter what the reason was, she had a really hard time letting go of the fact that she could pass as a boy.

It was not denial-Karin liked being all rough and tough, loved playing soccer, and the word tomboy had never been an offence to her. Plus, she was aware she had the worst looks in her family, so why even bother to try and look pretty? Ichi-nii was weird with his bright orange heir and his broad frame, but chicks seemed to find him very attractive. As for Yuzu, well, she was a real princess-smart, gentle and caring. No wonder anyone would pay attention to poor, plain Karin. Mary Benet would've been an excellent soccer player if it wasn't considered scandalous for a girl at Jane Austen's time.

However, to her horror and dismay, Karin discovered that she didn't find as much pleasure in 'guy things' as she used to. She was beginning to notice all the goodness in a man's kind gesture and got irritated over the small habits of the boys at school (though she hadn't ever been bothered before). She was slowly, and against her will, turning to her more feminine side, and it felt absolutely dreadful.

At this moment, Karin was experiencing something women called PMS (not for the first time), something so dreadful that any male creature in a hundred mile radius that wanted to have offspring had to be very careful not to pass the small clearing where she kicked footballs with enough fury to turn them into piles of useless rubber. However, there was someone walking by, and it just so happened that the one time Karin kicked the ball out of the field, it landed in the stranger's arms.

The older Kurosaki twin didn't even bother to look and just snorted, taking out another ball from the net. Guys like that wouldn't even bother to return your stuff, so why ask? If she tried, he'd laugh at her-best thing to do was to keep quiet and ignore him. "Damn it, why can't a real man drop out of the sky for me?" she thought.

The guy, however, didn't walk away or tease her-he actually jumped over the fence (with surprising ease and grace given his tall and broad frame). As he approached her, Karin slowly narrowed her eyes, first thinking that he had decided to walk over instead of drop from the sky, and then her face froze, as she recognized him.

"Is this yours?" Sado Yasudora asked

"Yeah…" she narrowed her eyes even more "You're Ichi-nii's friend, right? Chad."

"Sado." He corrected her automatically.

Even though Karin had gone out with Ichigo and his friends, she and Chad had never actually talked. He wasn't very talkative, and she was still angry at her brother for not telling her about what he was doing. Oh, she knew alright, she had seen him run around in his weird clothes, swinging a katana that was bigger than him at strange monsters, but he just couldn't stop treating her like a child with an overactive imagination.

She knew Chad was a part of the whole conspiracy, of course. The first time she had seen him, they had brought him in their clinic. She still hadn't forgotten the deep gushes into his back, or the strange look in his eyes when he refused treatment, or the parrot he held clutched to his chest like a precious treasure. He had said car accident, or some other lame excuse, but she knew the truth…she heard the small voice call out for help…she just knew there was nothing human that could cause this.

She knew he had saved her once at the field, but he treated her just like her brother did. She couldn't stand it.

"You're Ichigo's sister…" He stated as a matter-of-factly "Why are you here all alone?"

"Wha…" She crossed her arms. "What are you, my father?"

"It's dangerous. I will take you home." What was that guy, the human terminator-he did as he was bid?

"No, it's not." Karin frowned "And why would you care anyway?"

"You're Ichigo's sister."

"So?"

He paused.

"I don't want to see any of my friends hurt. It's what is right."

"So what?" she felt her heart drop "I don't see the connection. Why act…gentlemanly to me?"

But before she could say something more, she found herself being carried away, swung over his shoulder like a doll.

"Hey! Put me down! Now!" she yelled "Damn it, do you even know my name, Chad?"

He froze in mid pace, clearly worried. When he last tried to picture her, he imagined Ichigo with lipstick. With all the possible outcome, it was best to keep quiet.

"You DON'T know, right." She sounded triumphant. "Of course you don't. Now put me down!"

He obeyed and looked at her guiltily. She looked at him in the eye, and for some reason, she softened.

"I'm Karin." She stated "Don't forget it."

He nodded.

"I won't."

* * *

Byakuya looked at Yuzu, who was cooking dinner again. Her eyes fell on him and she looked up, thus cutting her finger with her knife.

But before the girl could even cry, Byakuya was by her side, already holding a bandage.

"Hold still." He ordered, while wrapping the wound up.

"Thank you…" she blushed "You shouldn't have…"

"It is only temporary." He stated "You should disinfect it and get it done properly immediately…and you will lay down…I'll finish here."

"Really, there's no need…" Yuzu babbled "I really am feeling well…but still, you reacted very on time…if my Dad saw this, he'd freak out."

"Yes…indeed." He nodded "But still you should rest."

"Nonsense, I'm great…" Yuzu didn't have time to finish when he took her by the hand and led her up the stairs where he carefully pushed her forward, indicating that she should go to her room. Smiling, Yuzu did so, with the clear intention of returning to the kitchens as soon as he was out of sigh.

They were to leave for Seiretei the other day, Byakuya and Rukia, and while Rukia trusted her gikon here while she was away, Byakuya couldn't, and he was still making up the story in a convenient way. He was coming back, but he had to find a way…

He opened the door to Ichigo's room to ask him about something, and finding him sitting on the bed making out with Rukia, he decided "Yes, I'm definitely coming back here."

He coughed, announcing that he was there, and enjoyed, for a few brief seconds, the looks of mortified astonishment on their faces. Then he rose a hand to stop the possible flow of half-assed justifications from them and told Ichigo to follow him.

* * *

Thus substitute shinigami had found himself in tight situations, but this one took the top. Just as he was trying to explain to Rukia why he couldn't leave his family with Kon for a long time, and they had finally decided to make up (by making out), Byakuya, the man who was just begging for an opportunity to castrate him, had come in.

Byakuya finished the dinner Yuzu had started in the speed of light, with poor Ichigo sitting on the kitchen table, wondering if the nobleman wasn't planning to do it on the kitchen floor and make it look like the blood was from a fish. However, the Kuchki leader seemed only interested in laying out the plates.

Finally, Byakuya took out his gikon pills and stepped out of his gigai, and Ichigo did the same. The nobleman went all the way to the house roof until he condescended to sit down and show the shinigami substitute that he should do the same.

"Look, Byakuya, I know what it looks like…"

"Save your breath, Kurosaki." Byakuya rose one perfect hand to beg for silence "There is nothing to misunderstand, I was aware of your relationship from a long time."

"Huh?" Ichigo looked puzzled. "You're lying."

Byakuya's eyebrow quirked. "Why so?"

"If you knew, you'd have decapitated me by now."

"I said I knew, I never mentioned proof." H enjoyed Ichigo's blank face, and then went on "But now that I do, nothing stops me from taking action."

The orange head wondered if he'd have time to unleash Zangetsu before Byakuya, but the noble didn't show any signs of a future battle.

"Rukia is of a noble family. By adoption, yes, but she is a noble. And she deserves no less." He gave him a level look "I will not hide that I disapproved of your relationship from the beginning, but I never thought of it more than a reflection of her crush on Kaien. I must say I regretted once for not finishing you off."

"But I proved stronger than you, didn't I." Ichigo's voice was edgy, still waiting for an attack.

"No."

"Deny all you want, but I've beaten you."

"No." persisted Byakuya "Even with all your training, you're still nothing more than an insolent boy who only sees what is in front of him. You attack first and then think, and you have to admit that your first impression of Rukia wasn't favorable."

Ichigo decided to stay silent on that matter.

"Because of your constant stupidity, Kurosaki, I thought you could not make a decent partner for her. In Soul Society, and especially in the nobility, a first engagement is usually the last, unless one of the spouses dies and the other remarry. But because of your temperament, I was sure that if you couldn't make it forever."

"Yeah? So why haven't you killed me yet?" Ichigo asked, already too irritated to hold back "If I'm such a terrible suitor for her…"

"It was pointless." Byakuya stated calmly "I knew that even if I used my influence on Rukia to persuade her into an engagement with a boy from a noble family, you'd probably to everything in your power to stop it. You're stubborn and persistent, that's for sure, Kurosaki. I acknowledge that. And given marriage to Hisana-san…and other, more recent discoveries, I thought that my duty as Rukia's brother exceeds that of a clan leader. And as her brother, I would rather not have her embarrassed in front of the entire Seiretei because you decided to jump in the middle of her wedding ceremony to steal her away."

"Hey, I wouldn't do that!"

"If she told you she was miserable, but she had to do it for the family's sake, of course you would. And then you'd challenge me and the groom on a fight, resulting in more broken furniture and the interference of the 4th division because people suffered from your incontrollable reiatsu."

OH…Ichigo thought, right, sure.

"I can see that things are well far off, but in order for me to trust you with my sister for good, it would take a lot more." Ichigo nodded, showing that he was listening. "You two can continue seeing each other on every occasion your duties as shinigami provides, hopefully without causing the end of the world, and I will not interfere…provided that the two of you don't overstep certain boundaries until you are mature enough."

"Of co…hey, I'm mature!"

"It doesn't necessary have to be you, Kurosaki." Byakuya shook his head.

"Oh...I get it …th….HEY WAIT A MINUTE!" He turned to face Byakuya, suspicious to the bone marrow "Since when are you so charitable?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why the hell would you allow me to date your sister when you hate my guts?"

Now that was the point where one shouldn't say a word. Sadly, Byakuya was under more than one influence.

"Because I am enamored with yours."

* * *

A/N-Author's block, author's block, author's block.


	27. Irony

* * *

**Irony**

They say that the silence before the big blast tells it all. In the few seconds, in which Byakuya waited for Ichigo's brain to process the said, he understood the meaning of those words. It wasn't thick tension, although you could slice the air with a knife, but there was more to it. Anticipation, stupid anger, bewilderment. And then there was a roar so loud it scared away all the Hollows in a hundred mile radius, shook all the houses of Karakura, and made the neighbors nauseous because of Ichigo's reaitsu overload.

"WHAT!?" Byakuya winced when he felt Ichigo's breath hot on his face, registering that the shinigami substitute had forgotten to brush his teeth.

"I believe I made myself quite clear." Even though Ichogo was stronger than him in terms of power, Byakuya wasn't an easy kill, and he wasn't the kind of person to allow people to shout at him.

"When? How? You're spilling it all out. I swear, if you've done anything to…" Ichigo paused and scratched the back of his head "Actually, which one is it? Did Karin accidentally see you…"

"No. I'm in love with Yuzu-san." Byakuya was wondering what was happening to him, what had gotten into his skin to make him say such embarrassing stuff. However, Mayuri was going to be pleased to see that his love potion had a nice side effect as a serum of truth.

"With…Yuzu? Are you high on something?!" Ichigo yelled, drawing Zangetsu out "What have you done to her?"

"Absolutely nothing…."

"Liar!" Ichigo tried a blow, but Byakuya shunpo-ed out of his range. For a few seconds the orange-head blowed off steam by trying to hit the noble…without much success. Then Rukia came out on the roof and seeing the scene, she charged between the men and in truly dramatic passionate way, yelled:

"Ichigo! Nii-sama! Stop this immediately! Don't fight over me!"

"Who's fighting over you, midget!" Ichigo yelled "I'm going to kill this guy!"

"Wha?" Rukia blinked, veeeery ungraciously "What are you talking about? Isn't Nii-sama fighting you in order to set us apart?"

"No! I'm stopping the other from happening!"

"What other?"

"Damn it, Rukia, that pervert of brother of yours' got the hots for my sister Yuzu!"

"What!" Rukia turned to her brother, eyes wide in shock. "Nii-sama, is this true?!"

"Before we say ANYTHING further…." A slightly panting Byakuya stated "I would suggest that Kurosaki seals his reiatsu and sit down."

* * *

After some commotion and angry outbursts, Ichigo and Byakuya finally sat down, with Rukia standing between them as a sort of mediator, with her hands on her zanpakuto's hilt, ready to set them apart at any time.

"Ok, so let's begin from the start…"

"As I was trying to tell Kurosaki, I am in love with…"

"Damn you! You'll get her over my cold, dead body!"

"Given the circumstances, you may relieve me of that task."

"Why you…"

"Please! Relax, or the house will crumble!" Rukai turned around to make sure nobody was seeing them "Ichigo, let Nii-sama speak, and then Nii-sama will hear you out."

"As I was saying, because of circumstances beyond my comprehension, I find myself harboring feelings for your sister Yuzu." Byakuya stated before adding carefully "And I wish in due time to see if this relationship has a point."

"Damn you! I won't let it!"

"Ichigo!"

"Can't you see what that crafty bastard is doing?"

"Please, let him finish!"

"Damn it! Even for you, I'm not using my sisters as a trading coin."

"Perhaps it is best to let him speak first." Byakuya carefully fixed some wrinkles on his robes "What are your objections to a possible relationship between Yuzu-san and myself, Kurosaki?"

"Plenty. First off, she's not dead!"

"I do not plan to kill her, if that is your point."

"She's also too little to be in a relationship."

"She'll be 15 soon, you don't have the right to speak of her in such terms as if she's a child."

"And she's my sister!"

"Then I can directly remove Rukia from you, if that's a stable argument."

"You bastard! You know what I mean. Rukia is a shinigami! She's strong! Besides, isn't a relationship with you going to jeopardize Yuzu's life? Didn't you say you often get assassinated."

"People TRY to assassinate me." Byakuya sighed "Can I speak now?"

Ichigo nodded, sitting down angrily, but listening.

"I already said that you and Rukia should climb the different stages of your relationship one at its due time. The same thing goes for Yuzu-san and myself. You must understand that my feelings, though strange, are sincere, and that I will never forgive myself if she is hurt. However, because the circumstances are against us at present, I only wish to be her friend for now. I will never impose my sentiments on her if she does not return, and as you said, she is too young to be in any relationship."

"Humans age faster than spirits…" Byakuya went on "By the time she is mature enough to learn the whole story, the situation with my family would hopefully be calmer. I will wait for her to grow up, and if she feels for me as I do for her, I will tell her the entire truth and then we may speak about a serious relationship. Does that settlement work with you, Kurosaki?"

Ichigo furrowed his brow. He certainly didn't like the way that guy spoke, as if it was a business settlement, but then again, he could've acted totally without his knowing.

"Listen here, I don't want Yuzu hurt…" He finally said "And I don't like it…that we're talking of this as if it's a…deal. You give me your sister and I'll give you mine…"

"I told you, Kurosaki…" Byakuya interrupted "For nobles, one engagement is final. If Yuzu-san takes me, I will never back on my word and I will make her happy. Let me point out that by offering you my consent to your relationship with Rukia, I am not making myself a favor. The Kuchiki elders will insist on my remarriage with an heiress more than ever-they will never support it if the leadership of the clan falls into commoner hands, but at least people won't point at you. Any relationship according to my own wishes is inconceivable, until I make some changes I should've done a long time ago."

"Yeah, well…" Ichigo sighed and looked at Byakuya "Are you sincere?"

"I give you my word as a man." Byakuya stared at him straight in the eye.

"Fine then…" Ichigo mumbled after a long pause "Only if she likes you!" He added in a rush. Byakuya just nodded and offered him a hand. Ichigo shook it after a small hesitation.

* * *

Ukitake woke, with his head spinning, and with something warm pressed tightly against him. Enjoying the sensation, he wrapped his arms tighter around it and pressed it closer to him, trying to guess its origin. While his hands roamed around it, he noticed that it had a very strange shape…and then, when a faint moan reached his ears, his eyes shot open in surprise and he looked down, coming to realize what had happened.

Nemu was lying in his arms, giving him his warmth, hardly covered by her under-robes. Ukitake blushed, when he realized that he wasn't much dressed either, except for the hakama she had left him for some unknown reason.

This is wrong, he thought, this is most definitely wrong. It was not professional, it wasn't good, it wasn't fair to her...but it felt so good…having her so close to him, Ukitake couldn't let her go…it felt as if he'd rip his own heart off if he did.

Slowly, she wore up and looked up at him. For a split second they dazed into the depths of their eyes, savoring the moment as much as possible, her feeling happy that he was alright, him mesmerized by the purely innocent expression in hers.

"Ukitake….Jushiro-san…" she corrected herself "Are you feeling better?"

"Huh? Sure, I just…" he blinked "Nemu-san…do you know what's happened?" Jushiro looked worried as he sat up in the ragged mattress. "I remember…"

"You were having an attack." Nemu explained while she carefully sat up as well "So I brought you here and laid you down. I also tried to keep your body temperature normal by giving you some of mine. Are you feeling better?"

Great, she thought she was saving his life again. Although a small, dark side of Ukitake urged him to encourage her belief and maybe in the future enjoy the benefits of another misunderstanding, his gentleman side popped out and forced him to pull himself together and have a much-delayed talk with her.

"Nemu-san…" he moved a little, trying to make a decent distance between them while not sliding off the mattress and causing himself more embarrassment…he wasn't very sure if the hakama would stay in place if he suddenly budged "Nemu-san, I'm not sure if anyone has had this talk with you, but…I need to explain something to you." She looked at him expectantly and he gulped. "Please cover yourself up first."

Nemu blinked, then pulled her under-robes abound her chest tightly and sat on her knees in the mattress.

"What is it, Ukitake-tai….Jushiro?"

"I…well, has your father talked to you about the…relationship between men and women?" since she looked blissfully unaware, he deduced that she didn't. "Nemu-san…unmarried women don't really…sleep with men they're not intimately acquainted with….or kiss them for that matter."

"Kiss?"

"The other night…when I had an attack again…and you gave me the medicine…that's a kiss."

"That is impossible."

"Why?"

"Well, because I have heard that a kiss is something like a one-of a lifetime experience." She titled her head "Nanao-san and the other women say that a kiss takes your breath away. All I did was simply administer some medicine orally."

"Well…you could say that…But you must understand that such action is not proper." Ukitake went on

"Oh!" she still seemed totally confused, but then she realized why he had acted so weird all of the sudden. "I apologize."

"Wha…what do you mean?" he blinked

"I apologize, my actions must've caused you much trouble." She bowed her head "It never occurred to me that you'd be embarrassed because I tried to save your life."

"No, wait, that's not it…" he began, trying to find the right words "I really like it that you've saved my life and I won't have it any other way, but you must have some reserve. Someone may take advantage of you, do something to you that you will remember forever and that will hurt your for all eternity."

Nemu looked at him.

"So…you say that…it's alright to have no reserve with you?"

"Yes…I mean, no, you should always be cautious…I just…I just really appreciate you…I don't want anything bad to happen to you…"

"But why?" his voice had dropped to a barely audible whisper, so she scooted closer to hear him.

Jushiro looked at her and for a second she was taken aback, when his eyes fell on hers. It felt as if he'd just set her on fire. His fists were balled and shaking from effort, and his voice was frail, but he managed to say it straight into her face, without hesitation.

"Because I can't stand the thought of you being hurt."

Nemu stared at him, torn between instinct and impulse. Then impulse took over and she wrapped her arms around him, closing the distance between them, and planting her lips on his, just like she'd heard. Then he responded, pressing her even closer and returned the kiss, hastily, passionately, as if the world was about to end. And as their pauses for breath drew shorter and shorter, they realized that the night was yet to bring out its surprises.

* * *


	28. Downhill date

Sorry folks, even a flying carrot can't seem to slow me down for al ong time.

* * *

**A date with a mad scientist doesn't always go downhill**

Soi Fong stared across the table in disbelief.

"Please tell me you don't know the names of these." She stated dumbly as Mayuri's newest prototype of brainless gigai set the meals in front of her.

"Of course I do. This here is foie gras, this is camembert, brie, gorgonzola and the fruits that go best with them…the main dish is filet mignon." Kurotsuchi explained, totally full of himself.

"Wow…" Usually she refused to eat anything whose name contained more than two syllables, but since he had taken the trouble. "Wow…" she repeated, in a totally different intonation. "This is…really good. Actually…it's great."

"It better be." Mayuri ate, without changing his facial expression for a second.

Soi Fong stared at the mad scientist across the table, frowning slightly. Their date had been going on very much like she had read it was supposed to be-he had greeted her himself, offering her a bouquet of roses (which was currently decorating the table), and had led her to a nicely decorated room, they had had some very nice appetizers (with names she couldn't remember) before setting down for the main course. All the time, Mayuri had been acting perfectly gentleman-like, he had offered her a chair and hadn't spoken about dissections for a whole evening.

Was it just her or was there something terribly wrong in that picture?

"It's all great…" she stated, as a matter of fact "You really shouldn't have gone through all the trouble." Maybe it was a novelty for her, to be treated dinners, but she was still quite aware that something with a French name didn't go cheap in the living world.

"There was no trouble." Mayuri stated coldly "It's all thanks to my new invention. I just did some research and entered the correct procedures in it. It produced this practically out of thin air."

Soi Fong stared down at the plate, trying to find some indication that it really was artificial. Weird.

"Oh…" was all she had to say. Very intelligent, she kicked herself.

"I'd like to hear your opinion on the wine." He stated "I haven't had this in a long while and I can't remember well the difference."

She hadn't had any at all, but of course, she wouldn't admit it. "It's good." She stated after faking an expert examination she'd seen in the movies-smell it, then turn the glass and take a small sip. The taste was bitter, but it did go well with the food. "How did you find the recipe?"

"I checked the old memory records of my test subjects." He said shamelessly, while calmly cutting off a piece of beef and chewed thoughtfully.

Soi Fong ate in polite silence, while trying to remember Yoruichi's advices on dating. "Remember, Soi, whatever you do, you don't discuss personal info on a first date. If the guy stares at other girls, dump him immediately, and be cautious if he pays too much." She hadn't understood that last one very well. After all, her entire life had been all about going into the Special Forces, be worth Yoruichi-sama's praise, and then out-do her achievements so well that she'd be erased from shinigami history forever.

Damn it, she had thought it was a good purpose, one that would justify her total loss at love. But now, sitting in that warmly lit room trying to figure out how to use the cutlery, she was beginning to regret the fact that she had turned down so many suitors over the years. Then again, Soi hadn't expected Mayuri to have more experience than her in this area…do mad scientists go on dates? She had seen Frankenstein and she had gotten the impression that they should be content marrying their adoptive sisters. And Kurotsuchi was more than devoted to his research.

But…there were a lot of buts…how couldn't he not go on dates…with that face…really handsome face…he could give Kuchiki taicho a run for his money if he didn't walk around with that mask on. He really must like science, otherwise he wouldn't have asked a plain woman like her out.

With such depressing thoughts on one's mind, it was hardly a surprise she didn't pay much attention to what she was doing.

* * *

Mayuri, of course hadn't forgotten anything-from the thousands of ways you could seduce a woman to the taste of wine in his mouth. If it was up to him, they'd have been long past third base by now, but since the stupid love potion was clouding his judgment, making him CONCERNED about her, it was impossible for him to do anything but count the wine glasses she was drinking.

Of course, having a woman drunk was only a plus, but there was something in her reckless way of alcohol consumption that…worried him. More than he would credit to the potion.

"So…" she stared at him, her eyes blurry "What's it like?"

"What exactly?"

"Living…like this….being a….mad scientist…you know…everything. Having to do…what you like…without feeling regret." Without feeling regret until now. He really wished he'd never decided to make that love potion in the first place.

"Um…well, it's more or less like any other job." He stated lamely, feeling a bit embarrassed. On one hand there was his original self, screaming and begging him to take advantage of the situation so that things could get back to normal. On the other, there was his newly acquired instincts that were telling him to get that girl a warm blanket and a steaming cup of coffee.

"You know, I've always wondered…" she said "About people…is it easy not to have regrets…or it's a privilege…for certain individuals?"

O-oh, he thought, this is threatening to become another Yoruichi-centered talk. "I haven't really given it a though."

"Really?" she slurred, getting on her feet and walking all the way to him, somehow without falling. It must be the reflexes, he thought absent-mindedly, right before she seated herself in his lap.

"You know…I wanted to ask you a question…" she said, oblivious to the way he suddenly stiffened up. "Why me? I mean…you sure look like a hundred bucks…why did you choose to ask me out, instead of…Matsumoto or someone else? They've got better racks than mine." She looked sadly down at her chest and played with her correction cops uniform collar. Mayuri gulped hard, noticing that she had put on some sort of perfume. "And don't give me that…we're both serious grown-ups shit…I know well…Handsome men don't date ugly women."

He sighed. Great. Mayuri ignored the fact that his lower body was on fire and tried thinking logically-he should really get her to lie down a little, maybe get her a cold towel. But…somehow…his vocal cords seemed to work with no connection with the brain.

"Beautiful women aren't for me. They're too…aware of themselves…" he placed his hand on her shoulder and started drawing small circles with his fingers "Besides…you have character."

"But Matsumoto is better…Nanao is better…even Uno…."

"People have different tastes…" he interrupted her "Besides, I'm pretty sure none of them would be interested in dating me. Matsumoto and Ise's little crushes on their captains are a bit too obvious to miss."

"What about Unohana? She's cute." Soi Fong was swaying slightly. That was the time to get her off and…

"Unohana…" Mayuri stated coldly. Soi turned to him, noticing a slight pang in his voice. His eyes drifted away. "Unohana is….beautiful…and aware of herself." He measured his words carefully. Soi narrowed her eyes.

She leaned in so close that he couldn't ignore her anymore. Their noses were almost touching, when she stated.

"You loved her." Period. That was definitely not a question. Mayuri sighed. She was drunk, she wouldn't remember in the morning…perhaps getting rid of the source would get rid of the consequences too.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked her, and when she nodded excitingly, he braced himself and lifted her up like a baby. "Once upon a time…" he began, walking around the compound and cradling her like a baby "Once upon a time yours truly was taken out of the 2nd division nut-house to become the greatest scientist in the world." She was holding him in a desperate attempt not to get dizzy. Not desperate.

"One day…" he thanked the gods there weren't any people in the division to see him in this state "One day he meets a young taicho…she's a healer, he's a killer…well, a bit like her love story with Zaraki now, but without an alternative happy ending. You see…" he opened a door and led her through a corridor. "You see…she really doesn't like the scientist and she just wants to be friends…of course, without telling him. So when he finally finds out he's been played for fool….well, he's not too happy about it."

Mayuri walked into a dark room and whistled, activating the lights.

"So…what did the scientist do?" Soi played along. Mayuri swung her around quickly.

"Well…he came up with a plan." He said "He discovered a substance that would make her love him for sure…" he dumped her on the bed, bracing himself on his hands, placed on both sides of her body.

"And then?" she asked, her cheeks slightly flushed from all the spinning. "What did he do?"

Mayuri thought about it for a second. "He drank the potion by accident and fell in love with somebody else."

"Figures." She said, then turned over the bed and threw up.

* * *

Sometimes, dates with mad scientists don't go downhill…but this wasn't one of those times. But sometimes, there are things that could happen overnight that could take the cake.

Matsumoto was out of the 4th division and walking towards her quarters. Having discovered that she couldn't put off her return to the 10th any longer (though she really did try to catch chicken pox to prolong her stay with Unohana), she made arrangements so that Hanataro would sign her out in the evening, when the office closed down and her captain headed towards his living quarters for a fresh cup of tea and a well earned rest. That way she could spare herself the unnecessary dramas she may cause in case she sees him in the company of Hinamori. (which was very probable since she was his girlfriend now, wasn't she.)

She just couldn't understand it-her taicho was uptight the way he was already, did he want to turn into a walking mummy by going out with that frigid little…What was wrong with her, Matsumoto asked herself, she was mature, she was a good warrior, she had a great sense of humor and boobs…ok, so she didn't do her paperwork on time and got a little carried away talking, but hey, somebody had to liven up the atmosphere in the office.

It was not until she set foot in the barracks when she recalled that captain Ukitake slept into her taicho's quarters…and that he was taking that room next to their office…which she had to pass in order to get to her own room. Sure, there were spells on the doors to block out the noises, but her shadow would certainly show…and nobody could mistake Matsumoto Rangiku's shadow.

She hesitated, then took a big breath and told herself not to be stupid.

"Matsumoto."

She leaped up with a squeak.

"Taicho!" was that relief in his voice she just heard? "I almost spilled out! What are you still doing here?"

"I always stay overtime…" he stated the obvious, and she kicked herself mentally "Unohana taicho mentioned that you're coming back today…I wanted to greet you…it took you long."

"Oh…" she looked down "The guys picked me up and gave me a welcome party" shallow lie, but maybe she was going to believe it and maybe even find some comfort

"Oh…" he pursed his lips "I see…Then perhaps you'd like to rest…"

"Yeah, sure." She nodded, grabbed her keys and headed towards her room.

"Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya called.

"Yes?"

"Sweet dreams." He said, without lifting his eyes.

* * *

She left without saying a word, leaving him staring in front of him, wondering how the hell could he have been such a fool. There he was worrying himself sick over her safety and she went on parties…sometimes, he wondered if he should tell her in just what messes she got herself with that skimpy uniform of hers and…

Suddenly, he felt a stir in the air and a shadow ran on the screen door, leading to his current bedroom, the terrace. Getting on his feet, Hitsugaya took his zanpakuto and made his way to the door, preparing to lash out on anyone who had been stupid enough to sneak in there.

He drew them open, only to find himself facing Hinamori Momo.

Hmm…maybe he should've attacked before opening the door.

* * *


	29. Long night

Chapter song: Long night by the Corrs

* * *

**Long night**

"Momo." He breathed, sheathing Hyorinmaru "For a second there I thought…hey, how did you get here?"

The little girl pouted.

"Shiro-kun, you're so dense! I came through the front door, but you were so busy you hardly paid me any attention."

"Well…you could've called me."

"What if I wanted to give you a surprise?" she smiled and got on her feet

"Well…I…" he stared at her "Are you going out?"

"Well, not really." She grinned and spun around "How do you like me?"

Hitsugaya could swear he heard Hyorinmaru cuss in the back of his mind as his eyes followed Momo with growing horror. She was wearing a short, black dress with spaghetti straps and plum blossoms embroidered on the skirts. The garment was made out of some shiny, slick material that allowed the skin to breathe in the hot summer nights, but it also clung to the body in a way that could get even Kurotsuchi taicho a nosebleed. It was the kind of clothing you put on with the sole purpose of having it taken off, and by the looks in her eyes, Hitsugaya guessed Momo knew that.

"Shiro-kun?" she asked curiously

"Well, um…it's very pretty, Momo. But I…er….regret to inform you that I can't go out tonight, it's a…busy day, yeah."

"Oh, silly." She chuckled "We're not going anywhere."

"Really?" he breathed happily, before realizing she was advancing towards him "Momo…"

"You've been so busy lately…I haven't seen you in days…" she whispered "And with that lieutenant of yours sick…I thought you needed to get away from your troubles."

"She has a name…" Hitsugaya sighed.

"What?" Momo looked puzzled "What do you mean?"

"She has a name, Momo. She's not my lieutenant, or that woman, or that death glare you throw when you have to say it. She's Matsumoto Rangiku and I would appreciate it if you stopped that ridiculous quarrel with her."

"Shiro-kun, must you mention her, she's so…" Momo wrinkled her nose

"No, you just have to listen for once!" Hitsugaya walked past her and opened the windows to get some fresh air into the balcony "Look, Momo, I don't know what you two have going on, and frankly, I don't care either. But everything's got it's limits and I really don't appreciate your attitude towards her. She's an excellent subordinate, a great fighter and my friend and I will not have her insulted in any way."

"Is she a closer friend to you than me?" Momo looked at him with her big puppy eyes and started walking towards him "We've been through so much together…"

"Momo, I didn't mean that…" he sighed

"Then let me help you!" she walked up to him "You're so uptight, you need to relax. Relief the stress."

"I don't need stress relief, I feel great." Hitsugaya mumbled, while trying to keep a polite and safe distance from her.

"Sure you do. Or else…" she pouted "You don't love me anymore."

While he was trying to come up with some reasonable excuse, Hinamori took the silence for a silent encouragement and jumped, knocking him off and straddled his legs.

Hitsugaya's eyes went wide, and he could swear that he heard Hiyorinmaru cuss in the back of his mind, but every rational thought was being pushed aside. His senses sharpened up until he was in painful awareness of his surroundings, and then died out until all he could do is breathe and stare. Her skirt rode up to her waist, the straps fell to the elbows as she leaned forward, until Hitsugaya was seeing things he had only witnessed in his dreams…or nightmares.

"Just relax." She whispered, looking seductive…in her opinion. Toushiro found it disturbing. There was a small vial in her hand, filled with a strange liquid. Was it alcohol? Or she planned to get him high so that she could…

This is out of control, his reason screamed, this is wrong, stop her immediately. Hitsugaya was perfectly aware that he was stronger and bigger than her-he could throw her off with only the slightest of movements. But there was something nailing him to the ground, something stronger than their childhood friendship. "You're all you have." He heard the old woman's voice.

Hinamori carefully opened the vial and took the liquid in her mouth, then leaned forward, intending to kiss it into Hitsugaya.

"No!" he screamed in his mind "Please, stop! Please, please stop! Please, this is wrong! STOP IT!"

Everything went black. And then…

"_**This is so not good."**_ Hiyorinmaru sighed, before the whole world filled with white light.

_Now I'm all on my own again  
Thinking you will never show you will be home again  
_

Hitsugaya's angry scream shook the entire building from foundation to top, and a second later a cold tsunami flushed out of every open window and door, making passengers on the street freeze and wrap themselves up, when only seconds later they had wondered how to undress enough to keep cool without looking immoral.

Matsumoto, who had been spinning in her bed in desperate attempt to fall asleep bolted up and out, right into the office. She had Haineko in her hand, ready to unleash her on whatever attacked her captain, but the empty room puzzled her. Then she sensed her taicho's reiatsu in the other room and threw the doors open. The sight inside stopped her dead in her tracks.

Hitsugaya was lying on the floor, with both hands opened, as if to let something out. His body from the chest down was covered in thick, rippled ice. Hinamori lay against the opposite wall, as if thrown out by a great force, and both her legs and arms were blue and covered with frost. The girl was crying and shivering, and no wonder-the air in the room felt like -30° C.

* * *

Hinamori turned her blood-shot eyes towards Matsumoto and screamed:

"This is all your fault, you wretched, wicked woman!"

Sentaro and Kiyone, who were the second most bravest to enter the office, rushed out behind Rangiku, and stared in disbelief at the scene.

"Matsumoto fukutaicho, what's going on here?" Sentaro asked

"Matsumoto-san, what's happened?" Kiyone yelled at the same time

"Nothing." Rangiku braced herself "Nothing's happened. Sentaro-san, take Hinamori fukutaicho to the kitchens. Kiyone-san, prepare a bucket of hot water for her legs. Quickly."

_And it's gonna be a long night  
And it's gonna be cold without your arms  
And I'm gonna get stage fright, caught in the headlights  
It's gonna be a long night  
And I know I'm gonna lose this fight  
I'm gonna get stage fright, caught in the headlights  
_

As the two third seats carried the almost unconscious fukutaicho away, Matsumoto put Haineko aside and ran to her captain.

His teal eyes were closed, his face seemed frozen into the tense expression of a man in a desperate struggle to stay neutral. Failing miserable. She sighed as she knelt down to him and touched his cheek. There was a painful spark of electric cold at first, but then his body seemed to recognize hers and let some of her warmth come into him.

She looked down at his body in disbelief. His reiatsu must've burst, she thought, and then formed ice. Rangiku had heard teachers talk about such occurrences in the academy, that they happened to people with high levels of spiritual power who were under a great deal of stress, but she'd never witnessed one for real. Her taicho was always so calm, so composed, he had always put up with her…she never imagined him losing control like that. And now…

The shock waves had spread all over his body, forming a sort of serpent's tail, with spikes of ice where the levels were unequal. The frozen surface shun with millions of little facets, like scales made out of rough diamond. It was a display in a reiatsu in it's most primal form, something like bankai, but much, much more uncontrolled and wild. It was almost horridly beautiful, but there was nothing good in Toushiro's face, twisted into a pose of pure anguish.

"Taicho, please…" Matsumoto whispered, leaning forward to him "Please, stop this. Snap out of it."

There were small rivers streaming from where their skin made contact and she wrapped her arms around his neck to enhance the touch. He was burning her with frost, yet she didn't let go, trying to accommodate. Meanwhile, Haineko was trying to reach Hyorinmaru so that he could stop this from underneath. Slowly, but surely, the ice started to soften up and melt, soaking the tatami and both their uniforms, but it worked.

Then, suddenly, Hitsugaya let out a groan and his arms, almost reaching out on their own accord, embraced Rangiku with such strength it cut her supply of oxygen for a second. Then, happy to see him coming back, she let out a yell of joy.

"Ren! Fumiko! Kaoru! Get here, quickly!"

While she was trying to get her captain on his feet, their 3rd, 4th and 5th seats rushed into the room, with their swords out and kido blasts prepared to shoot.

"Put those away, immediately!" she yelled "Ren-kun, set up a fire in my quarters and bring a kettle of hot water! Kaoru-kun, go get Hinamori-fukutaicho a clean uniform and escort her to the 5th division. Don't let her out of your site before you've handed her over to a member of her squad, and make sure she gets a warm bath and lots of rest in her quarters! Fumiko-chan, go find the healer, before taicho comes down with pneumonia."

"Yes, fukutaicho!" the three yelled in union, but the girl, Fumiko-chan, seemed hesitant "Matsumoto-san, what's happened?"

Rangiku hesitated-Hitsugaya was still unconscious, and while she had no doubt what could've happened, he might not approve if she accused Hinamori in something.

"I don't know. " she answered honestly "There must've been some disturbance…probably Zaraki taicho dropped his eye patch again…taicho must've reacted on instinct."

"Should we inform Ukitake-taicho?" Ren-kun asked, looking at the two through his thick blond hair.

"No. Don't bother him, the man needs rest." Finally balancing Hitsugaya on her side, Matsumoto rose to her feet "Just warm up my room, ok."

"But this could've been an assassination attempt." Fumiko objected

"Yes, yes, it could've been. That's why…" Rangiku quickly worked her way to the stairs "That's why we shouldn't leave them alone. Make sure Hinamori-fukutaicho is safe at her quarters, and tell the people in her division to…to…put a constant watch at her door. We'll inform the Correction Cops in the morning, until then….neither of them should be left alone."

"Yes, ma'am." The three shinigami finally dashed off to do their duty, as Matsumoto struggled to get her taicho up the stairs. Slowly, but surely, she brought him in her quarters, nicely warmed up by a dancing fire.

* * *

She set him down on a pile of clothes next to the fire place and checked the kettle Ren-kun had brought from the kitchen, then stormed the drawers in search of the herbs she kept there in case of cold. Kiyone came up to the rooms with a dry change of clothes for both her and Hitsugaya, helped her clear up the floor and then excused herself-Sentaro couldn't be left alone for a long while with his ankle.

Matsumoto changed them into clean yukatas and wrapped a blanket around Hitsugaya's shoulders. She checked his pulse, then started to make tea. While she was working, a quiet moan came from behind her.

"Matsu…moto…"

"Taicho!" she exclaimed happily and turned to him, pulling him in a bear hug "Taicho, I'm so glad you're ok!"

"I…can't breathe…" he whispered, making her loosen her grip just enough to reach for the tea

"Drink this, it'll stop you from catching a cold."

"A clod is the least problem." he sipped from the warm liquid thankful…

Thankful for what? For many things. For its sweetness that made his teeth hurt. For the warmth of the fire on which it was made. For the fact that Matsumoto stood in the same room with him and that Hinamori was nowhere in sight, that the nightmare had ended and he was once again the same.

Or was he? Truth to be told, even though he was frozen to the tips of his fingers and the gossipers in Seiretei were going to be all over him in the morning, he wanted the moment to last forever. But…come to think of it…

He frowned.

"Matsumoto, where's Hinamori?"

"I…I told Kaoru-kun, you know, our 5th seat, to get her to her division. I…I said there might have been an assault and that she needed to be guarded. Is…Is that ok?" for a split second she was ready to attribute that little scene down at the balcony to a foreplay gone wrong, but there was something in the way Hitsugaya was looking at her that told her that this was a ridiculous presumption.

"Good…good." Hitsugaya looked down at the tea in his hands and drank it in one gulp.

"More?" Matsumoto leaned forward and poured him some.

"Thank you." He narrowed his eyes "Matsumoto…what's happened to you? You look different."

"Oh…must be the yukata. Grey's not my color." She laughed, then turned serious "You don't remember? You were covered in ice and I was…close while you were melting…and I…actually you…well, er…we got a little wet…actually, the balcony is going to need new tatami."

Hitsugaya stared at her, then looked down in horror and his cheeks turned tomato-red.

"Were you…ugh…"

"Oh, taicho…" she laughed playfully "It's good to see your blood is still running."

"Yeah….sure…" he mumbled.

"But…what happened back there?" she asked, while sitting down next to him and putting an arm on his shoulder "You looked really…" she bit back 'scared'

Hitsugaya sighed. "It was…just…so wicked…"

"It's ok." She quickly changed her mind "I understand. I'll…tell everyone there was an accident with Zaraki's eye patch and…"

"No." Hitsugaya grabbed her hand tight "No, you will do no such thing."

"But taicho…"

"I won't have you lie for her!" He screamed, then added in a calmer tone "Matsumoto, I…I don't want to protect her."

"What?" she shook her head "Are you sure you're ok, taicho?"

"Yes, I am." Hitsugaya set his cup aside and rose to his feet to face her. "What happened just now…I've realized something, Matsumoto. Giving her what she wants is…not helping her…" his voice fell and he sat down, patting the ground to make her sit as well

"Taicho…I understand that but…what are you going to do?" Momo had gone far, that was sure, but if Hitsugaya turned away from her abruptly, that could be the last blow that could push her downhill. That girl was unstable.

"I…I don't know…I can charge her with assault of a superior officer…but…" he sighed "I can't do anything without hurting her, can't I?"

"Kira-kun's family has a sanatorium out of town." Matsumoto said carefully after a pause. "Perhaps we can talk to him…see if we can get her out of Seiretei for a while."

Hitsugaya looked up at her, his eyes lighting up with sudden delight.

"That's…great…" he mumbled "That's so…simple, I guess. That settles it all."

Matsumoto nodded. "Perhaps she needs rest like all of us."

"I certainly hope so." He nodded, then looked at her "How far had I gone, Matsumoto?"

"Huh? Well, you were…"

"I can't remember." He said "I felt…just like the time when Aizen stabbed me…Cold…helpless…lost…I hated that feeling."

She didn't say anything. What could she say? That is wasn't bad? That it was ok to be scared? That what happened wasn't his fault? It wasn't, yet she couldn't bring herself to say anything. Everything that popped into her mind sounded cold and cruel and selfish…in the end, there wasn't anything comforting for her to say.

"Taicho…" she began, but he cut her off.

"You're the one that brought me back." He said looking straight into her eyes "It's because of you and only you that I'm standing here…if it wasn't for you…if it wasn't for you…things…would've been…so…so…much…miserable…" he began slurring and swayed, finally falling asleep while resting on Matsumoto's shoulder. She waited for a while to make sure he was really asleep, then carried him to the bed and pulled the covers over him.

_It's gonna be a long night  
And I know I'm gonna lose this fight  
I'm lost in your arms baby  
Lost in your arms..._

It had been a really long night….but at least not they were not facing the day alone.

* * *


	30. Change of situation

* * *

**Change of situation**

The assassins lay, spellbound to the ground, but none of them opened their mouths to answer Byakuya's questions. They were either scared shitless by the nobleman's wrath, or maybe the combined spiritual pressure of Byakuya, Ichigo and Urahara's reiatsus was doing them in.

"They seem well trained." Urahara waved the heat away with his fan "Do you think they're one of the Shihoin spies?"

"Our relations with that clan, as well as with the others, are unchanged." Byakuya sighed, as he stared each of the assassins straight in the eye "We may not like each other a lot, but it's not insupportable. Besides, they're fully aware that an assault against the Kuchiki clan is an assault against the Gotei 13. None of the other clans has a representative amongst the captains and vice captains who could speak on their behalf, and they wouldn't take the risk of being prosecuted for treachery. Aizen's execution was…most impressive."

Indeed, the traitor had fought the Sou-taicho's blade until the end. His reiatsu shook Seiretei for days on.

"I say we just kill them." Ichigo crossed his arms, staring at Byakuya "We both know who sent them."

"Many of the minor nobles in Seiretei are not so considerate."

"I for one will not have the women I love jeopardized because of your stupid family issues, Byakuya!" Ichigo drew Zangetsu, but Byakuya raised Senbonzakura protectively in front of the shaking culprits.

"Women you love?" he had filled the orange-top on the accident with Yuzu, but he didn't know anything happened to Karin as well. "Have you seen those men attack another person close to you, Kurosaki?"

"Sure as hell, they attacked Rukia a little before your 'car accident'." Ichigo eyed him "Why the hell are you so surprised? If they went after you, why shouldn't they go after her?"

The change in Byakuya's facial expression was amazing. It went from impassive to totally mad in mere seconds, and then sank into a quiet outrage.

"Urahara-san?" he turned to the businessman, who was cowering in a corner "Do you have any rusty blades here?"

"Probably." Urahara managed to raise an eyebrow despite his terror "What do you need it for?"

"Make sure it cuts spirit particles." Byakuya put Senbonzakura away and took off his captain's haori. "And see if you have salt. I don't want their wounds to heal to fast."

"Oi, Byakuya, what's all that about?" Ichigo was also itching away from the noble, whose aura was flooding the room like smog "I thought you preferred to solve family matters quietly."

"Only when the family matters are linked directly to me. An assault against a precious person like Rukia or Yuzu-san is unforgivable and must be punished as it should." He rolled up his sleeves carefully, as if the job would get really messy "Besides, I do not know if it is a family matter. If those men…" he wrinkled his delicate nose with disgust "…refuse to name their employer, then perhaps they are loyal enough to die for him, or they are freelancers who attacked because of their own reasons. If the first, then they'd be happy to suffer the punishment for him. If the second, then they've seen it coming." He took the knife Urahara brought for him and turned it in his long fingers "If you're so eager to see them suffer, Kurosaki, I suggest you pull their pants off and hold them down while I work."

* * *

Rukia sat with Yoruichi, exchanging gossip and news while the men did their 'business'. The Goddess of Flash seemed more than delighted to hear of the SWA's newest scheme, which was the re-education course for me. However, the news of Byakuya's sudden attachment to Yuzu was the cherry of the cake, so to put it-Rukia wished she had a camera, for Yoruichi's expression was something you just had to capture for future generations.

"Oh my!" the tanned woman rested on the wall, holding her heart with one hand, panting "My god, Byakuya-bo's finally growing up! And Yuzu-chan…who'd have thought…I mean she is a sweet girl but I never expected..."

"Neither did I. I mean, I was shocked at first, but when I thought about it, I actually loved it."

"But…don't you feel it's a bit like…betraying your sister's memory?"

"I don't know…but surely she wants him to be happy." Rukia smiled brightly "Come to think of it, I'd rather have him with Yuzu than with any other person. I mean…my friends from the SWA are all nice and stuff but…I don't know, it would've felt embarrassing…but Yuzu-san is so sweet and sensitive, I'm sure she'll make him love her."

"It sure won't be easy for Bya-kun." Yoruichi sighed "He'll have to wait a long time for her to be ready, but seeing that he's decided to get rid of the corruption in the family, 1o years or so seems an awfully short notice. I mean…there have been plots for elimination of the head for centuries, how can he stop them all of the sudden."

"You forget, Yoruichi-san, that Nii-sama can accomplish great feats, especially for what he believes in." Rukia said, while remembering how he had stood up for Hisana, how he had struggled when she was in trouble, how he almost died protecting her…damn, of course he could do it. And he was going to do it, no matter what.

* * *

Byakuya and Ichigo left the basement, both too busy in their thoughts to register that Yoruichi was throwing them weird looks. Ichigo immediately went to Rukia, picked her up and dragged her by the hand, knocking over a door in his determination to get out of the building. The Kuchiki nobleman turned to them and called:

"Have her back to Soul Society before they notice she hasn't come back with me."

A grunt was all he got in return.

"Ichigo!" Rukia complained while he was dragging her away from the shop "What's happened?"

"Your brother's happened, that's what." He said, while slowing down his pace for her to keep up with him.

_The assassins had sung (how couldn't they have), and they told Byakuya everything that they've been told: That an anonymous source had told the Kuchiki elders that a fukutaicho would try to seduce him into marriage, and they had been dispatched to save him. Obviously, their orders were also to eliminate Rukia in order to press the matter of marriage on Byakuya, and since Yuzu had been mistaken for that shinigami fukitaicho, they had attacked her. Moreover, Urahara had given Byakuya his blood test results-he had discovered and identified something like a love potion in his system, which, given the circumstances, didn't surprise the noble at all._

_"The rules have changed…" Byakuya said as Urahara was taking the prisoners away to his private lab, to 'pack them to go', as he expressed himself._

_"You mean that since you've been tricked into loving Yuzu, you'll oppose my relationship with Rukia?" Ichigo asked._

_"No." now that was unexpected "Urahara-san pointed out that the substance only increases the feeling of sympathy for someone, so it is clear that even without it's help, I would've fallen in love with Yuzu-san. However, you have heard them-my sister is frail. If you're going to love each other, you better do it while you still can."_

_"But didn't you say…"_

_"I did not think they would have the nerve to attack her while she's under my protection." Byakuya explained "For which I am bitterly sorry."_

_"So?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow._

_"I hoped you wouldn't be so dense, Kurosaki." Byakuya said "Go and spend time with Rukia. Life is too short for you to waste."_

_Ichigo almost ran to her back there, but he still was suspicious._

_"And what about Yuzu?"_

_Byakuya sighed._

_"I'll have to wait…and hope she loves me back…"_

Of course, Ichigo didn't tell all that to Rukia. He just grabbed her by the hand, picked her up and kissed her. It wasn't gentle or chaste, the kind of shy, frightened kisses worried lovers share, but a rough, powerful and sweeping kiss, the kind that felt like a tsunami, the kind of kiss that leaves your breathless and panting for more. Rukia felt firecrackers explode underneath her eyelids and she pressed closer to him, wrapping her arms around his head and digging her fingers into his hair, desperately holding onto him like a drowning man holds onto a rope.

Hell, if they both didn't need air to breathe, they wouldn't have broken apart even if the ground opened under them and swallowed them to its burning core. Still holing her to him, Ichigo flashed them all the way to Karakura park, the only place he could think of where anyone could see or disturb them. The sounds of the their love-making resounded in the night air until morning.

* * *

**A/N**-Sooo sorry people, it really took so long, but I had something else to take care of, and I have exams coming up. (shudder, ugh, math). Aaaaanyway, there are some announcements I would like to give you.

**First**-The Byakuya Yuzu fic will offcially exist, I will start it as soon as I complete "Re-education". There will be a pool on my profile page for you guys, and all of you who want to know of it as soon as it comes out, please PM me or notify me in some other way, since having me on your Author's Alert list would be too troublesome.

**Second**-Dautchhunds don't scare me, but I would appreciate it if you refrained from using the poor dogs as a threat to make me update soon-you know very well that I update regularly.

**Third and most important**-The story that has been keeping me preoccupied, **'Bleach II: Arrancar'** by my beta **TheArchon** (yes, I do have a beta, I just don't want to burden the poor guy with my neverending writings), _is a story which I am co-writing, along with Kristine93_. Somehow, it recieves amazingly little interest, and**_ I would like to ask you to read and REVIEW_** it. (the last one is vital for the sanity of its authors). **So, please, please, PRETTY DESPERATE please, leave it a review**, because otherwise I might get a very bad author's block that may last a year or so, and I'd really hate to leave you without continuation of this story. Please, for the love of all that's holly, somebody REVIEW that fic! (Bows).

Oh, did I mention that if you don't, I'll pair Renji up with Chizuru?


	31. Setting your sights high

I'm serious about the Renji Chizuru thing people-read and review Bleach II Arrancar! (on my favs list)

* * *

**Setting your sights high**

Soi Fong woke up with that stale, sick feeling people with colossal hangovers wake up with. She felt terribly dirty, in contrast with the squeaking cleanness of the bed where she lay. Slowly, as if afraid that her head might fall off, she rose and looked around.

The room was unfamiliar, but it didn't give her the creeps or any other impression, as a matter of fact. It was cold, small, sterile, as if nobody had ever lived in it. Up until now, anyway.

She rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand, trying hard to remember what happened last night without getting a headache. She had to do something…something important…after patrolling. A handsome face….a proposition…Yoruichi-sama had given her advice…she had come to the 12th and then.

Ugh, so that's what happened. The damned wine had hit her on the head, hard, and she had began talking too much…never talk too much, that's what Yoruichi had told her. Then she had gone to him…ok, she had told her not to do that either…and had…had…Soi's face went dark crimson at that memory, and she wondered if she had broken every unofficial rule of dating that ever existed. Somehow, he had turned very talkative as well, had cradled her in his arms…

Soi Fong groaned and held her throbbing skull, hoping that the ground would open up and swallow her. She had thrown up, damn it! Just how embarrassing could have this gotten? She didn't remember anything after that, perhaps she blacked out….perhaps her body had shut down before she had managed to humiliate herself even more.

Frustrated tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she slapped her palm against the cold stone wall. Damn it! Curses! A thousand curses! Curse that guy for not stopping her! Two grown ups, yeah right!

Curse her for trusting him!, she thought grimly as she put her feet down and rose, very careful not to tumble on the ground. After Yoruichi left for the first time, Soi promised herself that she would never trust anyone again that much, so that they wouldn't hurt her as much. For God's sake, she had been devastated after her captain, her goddess, left her without a word, without so much as a word of explanation or apology. She had spent DECADES, trying to figure out her Goddess's behavior, to come up with some good excuse for leaving her behind and not letting her in on the truth. Actually, until Yoruichi had come back, she still hadn't understood her motives perfectly.

Even now, she felt as if it had been mistake, singling her out and then tossing her aside like a child…a persistent one, to be sure, but still a child. Who knows, if she knew what drove them away from Soul Society, Aizen's plan wouldn't have succeeded. All those people that died in the war against the arrancar could've still be there, if only they could've prevented it…if only somebody on the inside knew what happened.

* * *

Well, best not to ponder over the past, Soi thought, there were enough problems in the present to think of anyway. She started to walk to the door, wondering how to face Mayuri. She paused at the door and thought harder, recollecting more details from their conversation last night. Great, she had spoken to him about Yoruichi-sama…one more black point for her…but he had also said something else….

She tripped and almost fell down the stairs, lost in thought, but was caught by a broad, strong arm.

"Kurotsuchi-taicho?" she blinked "How did you get here so fast?"

"I didn't." he would shrug, if his hands weren't full wit ha tray of food and a Soi Fong. He looked at her carefully, trying hard to control his body's reactions to her proximity. He had to walk up the stairs, after all, and that wouldn't be easy if he got a hard on now. "I was wondering when you'd wake up."

"Why?" she eyed him suspiciously "How long have I been out?"

"Oh, not much, trust me. But it's almost noon, so…" he left the sentence hang in the air, while she slowly regained her balance.

"Are the people from my division looking for me?" she asked carefully

"Not that I know of. They seem used to your disappearing every once in a while. Anyway…" Mayuri shifted his weigh from one foot to the other "There won't be another captain's meeting for another three days, so until then, nobody's likely to notice your absence."

"Oh." She muttered, toying with a lock of hair. Of course, nobody except Yoruichi-sama knew that she was going to the 12th division captain (yeah, like she'd tell her fukutaicho or smth), and the Goddess of Flash was only going to be flattered by her continuous absence, for all she knew. Soi looked down at Mayuri, who was staring at the wall with fascination. Was this how a mad scientist should act? Gulping hard and trying not to blush like a schoolboy? She frowned.

"What was that last night…you spoke of some love potion right before I passed out." She said. It was Mayuri's turn to stare at her, then he looked down and cursed slightly. For a while, neither of them said a word-they both knew it was true, and that there was no way of denying it. Last night, they had (figuratively), but their card down, and now they faced a whole new problem.

"Perhaps we should leave this conversation for later…" he said finally, with a cold tone "Standing around in the middle of the corridor like that will only get you sick, and I suspect you'd prefer to refresh yourself a bit before breakfast."

"Huh?" Soi's eyes traveled from his exposed face, down to the tray of food he was carrying, and finished at her own attire. She couldn't help but squeak embarrassingly-she was wearing only her correction cop's halter top and a loosely tied hakama. Of course-her captain's haori and her shikahusho had probably been ruined.

"Have you been staring at me?" she shot, completely angry.

Mayuri couldn't help but smile-with all the things he could've done to her, she worried about him staring? Soi saw the laughter in his eyes and was about to start screaming her head off, but felt strangely…light headed. She reached out to support herself on the wall, but her knees were already giving out from underneath her.

Without even thinking twice, Mayuri caught her, flung her over his shoulder and carried her back to the bedroom. He put her down carefully, before placing the tray on the floor. Soi noticed that aside from the bowls of rice and the plates of _yakizana_, he had also brought up a small bundle of clothes, as well as clean lingerie and sandals.

"I washed up your shikahusho and haori…but they'll dry up a bit slower indoors, so you may borrow one of Nemu's spare attires…I'm sure she wouldn't mind." He opened another door "The bathrooms are entirely at your disposal. There is a screen inside, so that you can change."

"Thanks…that's very thoughtful…" she looked at him "You will tell me what this is all about afterwards, right?"

Mayuri sighed.

"Do I really have a choice?"

* * *

Yes, a bath did make things feel a lot better. After a hot shower, brushing her teeth and hair, and putting on a clean uniform, Soi actually felt more like herself. Of course, Nemu's uniforms were all the same short-skirted model that she thought she wouldn't be caught dead wearing, but somehow, today was a day for new experiences.

She walked out to discover him laying on a sofa, staring at the ceiling in a spaced-out manner.

"You know, I never knew how comfortable that was…" he mumbled, then looked at her "Are you feeling better."

"Yes." Actually, she felt like she was starving, but had enough pride to hide it. Luckily, he needed breakfast as well, because he knelt down to the small table where he had paid out their food, and with a slight gesture invited her to join him. Carefully, because of the skirt, she sat down and picked up her chopsticks…but didn't eat. She was just looking at him expectantly.

He stared back.

"So…" he finally opened his mouth "I suppose you've got it all figured out by now?"

"I think." She nodded "It has something to do with Unohana-taicho and a love potion you drank by mistake."

"If you want to put it in a nutshell, you definitely cut it down to size." Mayuri took a bite of rice "Are you sure you want to hear the whole story?"

"It would've been nice, seeing I told you enough about mine."

The 12th division captain seemed fascinated, again, by the wall, before saying:

"It's no big deal, I guess. It happens to everybody."

"It does. But I want to know." He liked her by mistake, she guessed as much. But if she knew the whole picture, it might just as well spare her one sleepless night less of pondering over the past.

"Well…" he chewed slowly "As you know probably know, I was guarded by the 2nd division after graduation the shinigami academy, under suspicion that I was dangerous for society. Needless to say that Urahara Kisuke's proposition to get me out of there was gladly accepted." He snorted "You can imagine I wasn't very popular. Not that I cared, but when somebody offers you kindness and understanding, it's easier to be…overwhelmed."

He picked his food.

"Unohana was nice and caring, but I mistook her generosity for something else." Mayuri eyed her, as if making something clear "I wasn't totally clueless back there, but I suppose she was just more….sincere and innocent than most girls I've met. We saw each other a lot…running a scientific institution has its hazards…we talked…she seemed almost…incorruptible…I guess I really did like her. But…"

"But?" it was stupid to ask questions like this, but damn, he seemed so interesting when he spoke like that.

"But I guess I had set my sights too high….and…well, I decided to be frank…tried to ask her out…but she said that her patients always come first, and that she thought it was best for us to be friends. I didn't buy it. She was so preoccupied with Ukitake Jushiro and Kyoraku Shunsui that I suspected she was enamored with one or the other. So I decided to come up with a potion to make her fall in love with me, to turn 'just friends' into lovers, regardless of her wishes."

"Then…" he went on after a pause, because clearly his plan had taken a turn at some point "Urahara and Shihoin fled and I was put in charge of the 12th. I had the formula, but there just didn't seem to be time to synthesize it, and then I just stopped caring. I guess that some of it showed when I was creating Nemu, but I fancy I dealt with it quite well, given the circumstances. You are very different from Unohana, both in appearance and in character, yet the potion made me react towards you."

Soi listened, with hands folded in front of her, not knowing whether to be worried or flattered. On one hand, it meant that his attentions to her were not totally false. On the other, many things became clear, things she had never contemplated before. Nemu and Unohana did look a lot alike, with the same builds and hairs and features, and even the same voice, up to a point. You could call them mother and daughter, only you'd never contemplate Unohana and Mayuri together like that…And the way he treated Nemu…I made sense, in a sick sort of way, but he might have created her in a way to tell Unohana how he felt…and mistreated her in order to get his frustration out.

The more she thought of it, the more the pieces of the puzzle stuck together. He didn't allow his subordinates to go to the forth for medical treatment, his lieutenant was build to withstand anything, and he himself had done everything possible to avoid any contact with Unohana, other than the necessary captain's meetings. Maybe, for one century, they had forgotten all about it. Unohana, at least, had the tact not to mention this to anyone else. Soi wasn't very sure Mayuri liked to be teased about his love life.

But now there was another trouble.

"But now you have accidentally synthesized and taken the potion…" she said "Does that mean that…you'll be stuck liking me for an eternity."

"Well…" he seemed embarrassed "…theoretically, I've made the potion to be irreversible. I'll be concerned for your well being, totally honest with you, and…err...physically attracted to you…but perhaps in time I'll grow used to it and find a way around." Mayuri looked at her "If me liking you is so…unbearable…then perhaps I can talk with the general for my resignation."

"Huh? Why you?"

"Like I said, the potion makes me worried about your well being, thus I'll have to be the one leaving."

He was looking at her expectantly, as if waiting for some divine judgment to be passed on him. She gulped, feeling more embarrassed than ever. What did he expect from her? She had never been this close to a guy, never in such a way. Damn, her dating experience was limited to last night. How the hell was she supposed to act in a situation such as this? It was like…like…having Kuchiki Byakuya fall on his knees and tell you you've been chosen to be the next queen of spirits, only ten times more worrying.

"I don't think…you attentions are unbearable…I actually like it a lot…to have somebody compliment me and stuff…" she rolled a lock of hair on her finger "I'm just new into this. I'm not sure if we can…err…I can't be sure it'll work out, but I want to see."

"Why?" he looked bewildered

"I don't really know." She shrugged "I can't be sure…I mean there's no way we can…"

"Oh, we can actually." He had suddenly moved over to her side of the table, placing a hand close to her "There is a very easy way to find out if we are compatible."

"What is it?" wow, she was either a great actress, or perfectly clueless. He leaned closer in.

"You'll see." He breathed, barely touching the skin of her cheek with his, allowing her to accommodate with his body warmth, then moved onto her lips.

At first there was nothing. Her skin was soft, a little on the cold side, and tasted like white rice and toothpaste. But that was before she leaned in closer, as if attracted to the smell of his skin, and an electric spark ran down both their spines, thrilling them to the very core of their beings. Suddenly, his hands were wrapped around her and pulling her in with such power her bones almost cracked. Soi put her arms around his neck, as if it would lessen the pressure, and leaned in, enjoying the moment. Yes, enjoying it…to think that mere months ago she didn't even think about such things…now all she wanted to do was get closer. Her temperature peaked, the blood rushed into her head and cheeks, and her body felt somehow tighter, uncomfortable.

They pulled away, breathing heavily. Kurotsuchi's hands were balled into fists, and it took everything he had not to ravish her there and then. Damn it, he doubted that what she felt was even close to what was happening to him. He felt like he would burst.

"What…what just happened?" she panted

"I believe…judging by your reaction….that there just may be some hope in our relationship."

"Great…" Soi blinked, breathing easier "So now what?"

"Well…" he grinned maliciously "We can continue."

"To where?" she sat on her heels and looked at him questioningly.

"Huh?" now it was his turn to blink cluelessly

"To where to we continue?" she blinked

"Eh…well…" he kept on blinking, trying to find some trace of ruse or lie in her, but she seemed totally honest "We can always move onto third base…"

"What's that?"

Mayuri almost blushed. Now that was disturbing. Then he leaned in closer.

"You and Shihoin…you didn't…before she left…Has she never talked to you about it before?"

"About what?" He rubbed his eyebrow. Perhaps this was not the best time to tell her that the entire Gotei 13 suspected the former princess and her protégée in a passionate lesbian relationship after Aizen's treachery. Instead, he sat more comfortably and looked at her.

"Well, for starters…do you know from where babies come from?"

"Of course I do!" she seemed indignant "I'm, perfectly aware they come from cabbages."

Mayuri sighed. This was going to take a while…

* * *


	32. Folly

* * *

**Folly**

"Taicho!" Matsumoto frowned when she opened the door to the office "I TOLD you already, you should be resting."

"And who, may I ask, will take care of this paperwork?" Hitsugaya gestured towards the shaking stacks all over the room.

"Me, of course." She laughed "I'm better in forging your signature than anyone in the Gotei 13."

"Please, don't touch any of the paperwork." Hitsugaya said wryly. Rangiku sighed-it had taken a full three hours to convince him to sleep in the morning, and she had gotten through a good tenth of the day's work before she decided she needed a snack. Though her taicho was very smart-he knew that for as long as she was in the room she'd never let him in, so he simply waited for her to get hungry and hope that she wouldn't have made too many mistakes.

Matsumoto got on her desk with a pout and started on her own forms. She was joking about forging his signature-Hitsugaya had gotten over plenty already, he didn't need to deal with faked paperwork too. Hinamori was still "under quarantine" in her quarters, but thankfully, a note had come for her taicho earlier today to tell him that Kuchiki taicho was back in Seiretei and that Kira fukutaicho was out. Hitsugaya seemed overjoyed and told Matsumoto to ask him about 'that thing with the sanatorium' immediately. They were still waiting for an answer, but knowing Kira, he was probably already making arrangements.

Rangiku cleared up her desk, sneaking a peek at her taicho. For some reason, she discovered that he had laid his brush down and was looking at her. What? Had her boobs spilled out while she wasn't looking?

"Matsumoto…" he mumbled "Will you please leave that for a sec?"

"Oh?" she shoved the inkwell away and looked at him, curious "What is it?"

He cleared his desk carefully, then motioned her to come closer. She did as she was told and stood in front of him, wondering what she had done.

"There is something I need to share with you, so if you please…" he put an elbow on the table, and when Matsumoto leaned in, he neared his face to hers so that their noses could almost touch. "I'm not sure if you'll like it…" he studied her worried eyes for a second "…but you really are beautiful." Next thing she knew, he was kissing her, never closing his eyes for a second.

Rangiku was stunned. Never in her life she expected something like that to happen. Sure, she had fantasized plenty of times about such a moment, but she never thought her innocent taicho would be the one initiating it. She expected some sort of resistance, some sort of a chase, but there he was, turning the tables on her.

The kiss stopped as abruptly as it had began. Hitsugaya looked away, panting slightly, a blush flying on his cheeks. Matsumoto blinked, still leaning forward, a bit startled. Then she realized her infamous uniform neck was about to open up totally and pulled away with a faint squeak.

"Taicho?" she looked at him

"I just wanted you to know." He said, still red like a tomato. Slowly, a smile bloomed on Rangiku's face-she understood clearly. He did want to do that, it was not a mistake. He wanted it for a long time, but he didn't want to overstep his boundaries. She chuckled.

"Such a gentleman, taicho." She giggled and sat on his desk, leaning on one hand "I guess we had to give a course on kissing too, eh?"

"What?" the suspicion that his skills weren't good enough got rid of his embarrassment immediately. His eyes shot up to meet hers and he even got up on his seat "What do you mean, Matsumoto?"

"You're so cute, taicho…" Matsumoto smiled and looked at him seriously "Do you really think I'm beautiful, Toushiro?"

A soft smile emerged on his lips. "Yes, I do. With all my heard."

She patted the desk, motioning him to come closer. Hitsugaya hesitated for a second, before popping on it next to her.

"A kiss has a great meaning to a girl. It also illustrates the personality of both partners." Her voice was hushed, but bore the tone of a teacher…the kind of teacher boys usually see in dreams that end in a very embarrassing way. "A gentle kiss, a shy kiss, or maybe a rough and feral…there is always a difference."

"You talk too much for your own good." Hitsugaya mumbled as he lowered his lips on hers. Rangiku reached out and held his head as they kissed again, at first lightly, gently, then fervently and passionately. He reached out and held her tightly, her uniform began slipping…

And then the door to the office opened.

Kuchiki Byakuya stopped in mid pace, raising just an eyebrow at the scene.

"Perhaps I should have come some other time, Hitsugaya taicho." He said "My apologies."

"N…never mind." Matsumoto pulled away "I will bring some tea." Bowing politely, she excused herself, leaving a stone-like Byakuya and a perfectly calm Hitsugaya.

"Please, to what do I owe the honor of this visit?" Toushiro raised an eyebrow.

"Perhaps you would like to sit more…comfortably, Hitsugaya taicho?" Byakuya made his way to a chair and sat down. Matsumoto rushed in with the tea and hurried to pour it, without spilling most. She made a move to get out of the office, but Byakuya raised a delicate hand to stop her. "There is something I would like to talk to you about, to both you and your fukutaicho. Do you have somewhere where our conversation would not be…heard?"

Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow. Because of the reiatsu blast last night, the kido spells on the doors of the terrace-chamber were neutralized. "The office is the best place for such talk. My subordinates can be trusted that they will not peer into other people's business."

"Very well." Byakuya straightened his captain's robes and looked at both of them, carefully "Upon my return from the Living world, I was confronted by a distant cousin of mine, Kuchiki Midori, and her brother Kuchiki Shinji. They seem to have guarded Kira-fukutaicho from some trouble he's gotten himself into and were desperate to speak to me about something."

"You see, the elders of my family have somehow gotten the impression that there would be an attempt of my…seduction, figuratively speaking, would be attempted, and they have decided to…take action. This action, you see almost cost the lives of my sister, Kuchiki Rukia, and of another innocent bystander. By the mercy of providence, casualties were prevented." He spoke as if he dictated a report "Midori-san was kind enough to….enlighten me on certain details. I have now spoken to the elders, assuring them that no such attempt has been tried, but I must find the responsible for this…trouble."

"And what does that have to do with us?" Hitsugaya asked, not once looking at Matsumoto.

"The possible culprit was told to be a fukutaicho of the Gotei 13. Former captain Urahara Kisuke ran some tests after an…occurrence in the living world, during which he discovered a substance in my blood, which can be best identified as a love potion. I calculated that it must've been administered during the last class of the SWA course, because there was no other opportunity. The only thing I had there was a cup of tea, brought to me by Hinamori fukutaicho. She said that it was Matsumoto-san's compliments to me….for making such a fast progress."

Matsumoto felt lump. Damn it, that stupid Momo. Toushiro probably thought she did it, and Byakuya was probably a 100 sure….But the next words that left her taicho's mouth astonished her beyond belief.

"Kuchiki-taicho, if you have come to accuse my fukutaicho of something, you must know that any unjustified offence towards her is an offence against my division."

"I understand." Byakuya nodded calmly "I would never dare start a feud, Hitsugaya taicho. But the situation could've ended in tragedy…a great tragedy, thus I must see whether Hinamori fukutaicho is innocent of the charges." He eyed Rangiku. "Your fukutaicho's affections seem to be engaged…elsewhere…" a good choice of words, Hitsugaya approved. Matsumoto would never play up two guys at the same time and they both knew it. Which only brought them to the possible perpetrator, Hinamori.

"There is, of course, the possibility that the substance was in the water and that Hinamori-fukutaicho has nothing to do with it. I understand that several other shinigami have suffered the same symptoms as I have." Another game. He was asking if he should let her off easy. Rangiku lowered her eyes, expecting the answer to be affirmative, but almost leaped in the air when Toushiro took her hand in his and gently squeezed it.

"Perhaps, but Hinamori herself shared with me her desire to become captain through recommendation. Actually, last night she tried the same…technique on me." With that said, he told Byakuya a shortened version of last night's events. When he was done, the nobleman was frowning hard.

"Why has there not been a report on this?"

"I was indisposed for the greater part of the night, and Matsumoto took it for an assassination attempt."

"Hinamori-fukutaicho's actions do her no credit." Byakuya shook his head "Even through recommendation, she must achieve bankai in a matter of months-her rank requires it. Furthermore, the Sou taicho has the last saying in it. Her deeds are unpardonable-what she has attempted to do with that substance can be considered an assault of a superior officer. Before, this was punishable with death."

"I understand. But since it is our duty to set a good example I believe a last gesture of good grace is in order."

"You do not plan to take action? Must I remind you that she will try again?"

"She may." Hitsugaya looked at Rangiku assuring "But that does not matter anymore. I do plan to take action, Kuchiki taicho. But in a more…merciful way." After sharing his plan, the noble only nodded approvingly.

"A wise choice. Then I see I have no business here." He got up to leave "My apologies for disturbing you."

"Kuchiki-taicho…" Hitsugaya raised his voice just a little. Then, with an impish sparkle in his eyes, he asked the question that was burning in Matsumoto's throat for…oh, about the whole time "You spoke of symptoms?"

Byakuya turned, hiding a smile.

"Have I?"

He left the two shinigami to stare, dumbfounded. Then, when the door closed, Matsumoto opened her mouth to speak.

"Did he just…"

"I think it's best not to ask him for now, Rangiku."

"Yeah…right…Toushiro…" she grinned "So where were we before we got so rudely interrupted?" she purred, her face inches from his "Oh, right, here!" she smiled, before grabbing onto his captain's robes and pulling him down for another kiss.

* * *

Back in the human world, while Yuzu was lying about wondering why her heart weighed so much after Byakuya's departure for his new job, Kurosaki Karin had plans of her own. Her sister seemed so preoccupied with her book (she hadn't turned a single page), there was no way it could go wrong. While the black haired girl was about to scramble through the window, Isshin's voice was heard from below, calling Ichigo to come and watch ER with him, but of course Ichigo didn't answer so Isshin ran up to kick his son into some "quality time together". While the fight was going on, Karin had already slung her legs over the window and jumped on the ground.

"That was dangerous." Chad said, as a matter of fact.

"Blah-blah. It was nothing." Karin shrugged "Come on, before the match starts without us."

"Are you sure your brother cannot accompany you to this game?" Karin smirked mentally-asking the poor guy to come with her to the game under the pretext that nobody could take her was the perfect way to get close with someone you liked. Especially if your brother would go berserk if he found out anyone was hitting on his baby sisters.

"Don't worry." She patted the gentle giant on the shoulder "Ichi-nii has to spend some…quality time with dad."

Behind them, the clinic shook from Ichigo and Isshin's battle.

* * *

"Nanao-chan!"

Oh, no…the 8th division fukutaicho pushed the stacks of paperwork on her desk closer to one another with the desperate hope that they would hide her.

"Na-na-o-chaaaan! Oh, my sweet, lovely Nanao-chaaan! Where are you?!"

The door to the office flung open and Shunsui barged in, in all his pinkness. Was it her or his haori was more flamboyant than usual? Well, after their little vacation in the human world, she did saw everything in Technicolor, so that was only to be expected.

"There you are!" he boomed, sending the papers flying all over the room. Nanao was about to protest, but he quickly pulled her from behind her desk and span her around, laughing like a child that has just discovered a hidden Christmas present. "I found you, my little, sneaky Nanao-chan! Ha-ha-ha!" he kissed her before she contained herself and waltzed around the division, with her in his arms.

"Taicho! Taicho, please stop!" she was getting dizzy "Shunsui!"

He froze in mid-pace. "Yes, Nanao-chan?"

"What are you doing?"

"Celebrating, of course."

"Celebrating what?" she raised an eyebrow "IS it your birthday?"

"OH, Nanao-chan, with you every day can be my birthday. But Kurosaki-kun sent us our pictures from the Living world." He waved the pack around. "Now how about we look at them."

Nanao smiled warmly and nodded, and even allowed him to carry her all the way back to the office. Their subordinates stared, then shrugged the momentarily folly away and got on with their work.

"I asked him to blow up some of our pictures on the beach." Shunsui's voice was heard "That way, we can put them on the walls in the office for everyone to…"

WHACK!

"Oh, Nanao-chan! So cold!"

* * *

A/N-Big thanks to my beta for this chapter. Read the arrancar fic already!


	33. Babbling idiots

Tsk, tsk, tsk, only **Crazy Laughter** left a review on the arrancar fic (Thanks a lot, by the way, you have no idea how happy it made all of us)? Shame on you. Guess I'll have to bring out the heavy artilery (cracks her knickles). Don't say I didn't warn you.

* * *

**Blabbering idiots**

"Ikkaku!" a loud, indignant and quite girly voice echoed all over the 11th division barracks. The mentioned shinigami winced and tried to bury himself deeper in the mattress, which happened to cut a hole in the said mattress and he fell on the ground, just as Yumichika entered.

"A-ha! I knew you'd be moping around here somewhere."

"I ain't mopin'!"

"You most certainly are." Yumichika crossed his arms "Did you lose your head in Rukongai 3 days ago? Or did Rei-chan just beat you brain out again?"

"Shut up, you damn bastard!" Ikkaku groaned

"Aaah, so it is Rei-chan, isn't it?"

"Yumi, for Christ's sake, talk about clothes, shoes, Mayuri-taicho's ass, just don't bring women up!"

"I thought you'd be happy when she entered the academy-that way you two can fight all you want afterwards. Who knows, maybe she'll take up that detestable 4th seat position and I will finally rest in peace…."

"Damn it, Yumi! She's not coming!"

Yumichika blinked. "What do you mean, Ikkaku? She has a hard time finding the place? I told you I'd cover for you if she needed an escort."

"No, idiot! Escort of no escort, she ain't coming, no way in hell."

One perfectly formed eyebrow started to twitch in irritation as the 5th seat made his way to Ikkaku, before pulling him up forcefully and jolting him up like a cocktail shaker.

"What do you mean she's not coming?! What do you mean no escort? I already began to organize her welcome party! Didn't you like her? Didn't she actually come to visit? Wasn't she the only person who could come in the 11th and whose hair I could stylish? What happened?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Ikkaku broke free and sat on the remaining of his bed, slamming his fist on the ruined covers. "She just said she didn't wanna be a stuck-up pansy."

"And?" Yumichika tapped his foot "What else?"

Ikkaku said something incomprehensible.

"What?" Yumi bent down to hear better

"I said she wouldn't tell me!" Ikkaku yelled.

"Jeez, couldn't you have asked her nicely?" the egoist rubbed his echoing ears

"I was." The bald man winced "You have no idea how nice I was..."

"I'm sure you could've done be…." A wide-eyed stare "You don't mean you two were…"

"Yes."

"I mean really…."

"Yes."

"You mean, in her place? And you co…"

"Yes, goddamn it! Do you want me to tell you every goddamn detail?" Red-faced, Ikkaku looked away.

"Oh my, then I guess she must've been awkward. She must've thought you wanted to ask her into the academy out of courtesy."

"What the hell? Why would she think I'd be that…"

"Well, she might have thought you wanted to keep her mouth shut. After all, it is not so bad. But in my opinion, there is nothing to be ashamed of. You've been suffering from a great deal of stress lately and your system is bound to get disrupted. Of course, the problem can be easily solved with some therapy and relaxation, and besides, many men come face to face with…"

"Hold on! Are we talking about the same thing here?" Ikkaku stared at his friend as if he didn't want to know the answer.

"Of course. You two were at it and you couldn't do it. I perfectly understand, don't worry. I'm sure that even Zaraki taicho had the same pro…"

"Damn it, Yumi, neither of us had a problem!"

"Now, there's no need to lie. I'm your best friend and you can tell me every dirty little se…"

"I'm telling you there was no such thing! We were at it for hours! I stopped counting after the third time because she ca…Damn, I don't have to explain myself to you."

"But if you weren't…I mean…Why else would she not want to come here?" Yumichika looked shocked "Are you sure you didn't offend her in some other way?"

"No, damn it."

"And can't you ask her for her reasons again?"

"No. She said she had trouble with some guys…she probably changed places ten times by now."

"Oh well, then I guess it's for the best." Now it was Ikkaku's turn to stare in shock as his friend shook his shoulders in a dismissive manner "After all, what good could've come out of a relationship like yours? All you two could do is fight, and when you wouldn't fight, you'd argue, and eat. She probably wouldn't have let my style her hair. She would've pissed Yachiro-chan and Zaraki taicho so much they'd have you both killing hollows for centuries ahead in the forest. She'd treat you like a mop because she's such a feminist, and she'd probably tell you she'd be better of with her hand than with you. Your love-making would resemble the copulation of rabid dogs, given she doesn't tare off your tool before that. And anyway, who'd like to have a relationship with a tomboyish, crazy woman who doesn't even owe a hairbrush?"

Ikkaku stared right ahead in shock, then got up and stormed out of the barracks. Watching him dash off straight for Rukongai, Yumichika pursed his lips.

"I guess he would."

* * *

Renji couldn't believe his ill luck. After his taicho came back from the Living world, things were going downhill and the worst part was that he couldn't understand why. Byakuya showed up at the office for an hour or two to give orders and sign the most indispensable reports, before either busying himself with the division's library or locking himself up into never ending family councils. Rukia wasn't of much help either, because she seemed so preoccupied with the rebuilding of her division that she couldn't spare even five minutes for him.

So he decided to go to the Living World on his night out instead of drinking with his old buddies from the 11th (Ikkaku was busy anyway). He stopped by the pub to apologize to them and had a sip of a jug of sake they had pocketed from Zaraki taicho, before heading for the Sekai gate.

Karakura was a screen of black and blue shadows, dancing and twirling around him. Since it was a small town, the only place that lit up like a Christmas tree was the centre, and of course, nobody would build a Sekai gate where it could drop shinigami in plain sight…and for Hollows-in the middle of an all you can eat buffet. So Renji (after acquiring a gigai) was walking around the suburbs, feeling determined to go to Kurosaki and ask him what had he done to his captain.

However, the family seemed too busy for him, because when Renji reached the clinic, its walls were shaking from one of the most violent Kurosaki family scandals.

To say that Ichigo and Isshin were the ones that talked the most was an understatement. To realize that the Golden Apple in this case was a girl was also not very hard to deduce. But Renji was to be damned if he didn't know the girl in question was Karin.

Apparently, Ichigo and his friends were supposed to go out to see a movie tonight. However, Chad had told Ishida who told Orihime that Ichigo was busy bounding with his father and he'd probably be too busy to come, so they had gone without him to catch the train to Tokyo (because the movie Orihime wanted to see, "Mamma mia!" was only out there). And Ichigo hadn't known about any of this so he waited for them to show up on the station for half an hour, before Tatsuki called to wish him good luck with his 'family bonding'.

When Ichigo had asked his childhood friend why had they gotten such an idea, she said that Chad had told them. And how exactly did Chad know that? Ichigo had asked. Because he took your sister Karin to the soccer match today, Tatsuki had answered.

And there goes World War Three.

From what Renji understood, Ichigo was not only pissed because Karin condemned him to a whole night of "family bonding" (read: look at old baby pictures and try to guess whether that is Grandma or Ichigo on them). No, he was also very angry because she had gone out on a date with his best friend without his knowledge and consent.

"…AND FURTHERMORE, YOU CAN'T START FIGHTS TO SNEAK OUT THROUGH YOUR WINDOW JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LOOK ADVENTUROUS ON YOUR DATE!" Ichigo was screaming when Renji first started listening.

"Ichigo! There is nothing wrong in appearing adventurous!" Isshin tried to protect his daughter, but Ichigo was really into his element.

"DAMN IT, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE? I AIN'T GONNA TOLLERATE THIS!"

"It was just a soccer match Ichi-nii." Karin snorted

"It's not just about the soccer match. Chad's not some toy you get to use whenever you like!"

"What are you, his mother? Or boyfriend?"

Ichigo tried not to hit her. "Listen you, just because he'd believe every word you say doesn't mean you can take advantage of him as if he doesn't have feelings!"

"Hey, I'm not…"

At that point, Renji's eardrums couldn't handle this anymore and he decided to skip the rest of the arguments, before Ichigo's flaring reiatsu crumbled the building.

* * *

Ok, so maybe going to Kurosaki wasn't a good idea. Renji looked at his watch-if he hurried, he could make it back for the occasional fight after drinks, but traveling through the Sekai gates was exhausting him and he needed time to rest. Perhaps another stroll. Maybe he could notice what got his captain so worked up. Sure, he had no idea what had happened, but maybe if he saw IT, he'd slap himself on the forehead and say: "Hey, that's what got him so worried."

Of course, he couldn't have guessed that the reason why his captain was so worried was that pretty blond haired girl in the Kurosaki house that was about to burst into tears when her brother swore he'd never let anyone date his sisters.

Renji took the short cut through the gardens to the complex of buildings where Inoue lived. Perhaps she could help, given she knew so much about everybody. Of course, she wasn't a gossiper, but a Byakuya that wasn't staring coldly at people and watching out for his sister was even scarier than a Zaraki taicho who's woken up in a tutu. It was his duty as a fukutaicho, Renji mused, that he should find out the reason for his captain's discomfort and eliminate it. Life was complex enough with those re-education courses the SWA was throwing to be burdened with an absent-minded Kuchiki-taicho.

There was nothing more. Renji was a man's man-the 11th division didn't let others live long enough to transfer. His life's purpose had been to grow up into a man who could be a match for Kuchiki Rukia, a man who could stand up to Byakuya and ask for his sister's hand without getting decapitated or, even worse, be rejected with glacial disgust. Once, Yumichika had asked him why he went on with trying to live up to Kuchiki taicho's expectations now that Rukia had met Kurosaki Ichigo. Good question. Perhaps old habits die hard.

Renji paused, wondering if he was going a bit too far. Perhaps Kuchiki taicho had his reasons…anyway, even if the nobleman owed him his life, he doubted he'd go as far as to let him court (he dared not imagine marry) Rukia. Wasn't it best to move on? But he was already there and…Oh, gods, Renji thought, could it actually mean that I'm gay?

The thought was so terrifying he had to sit down for a while. When he finally relaxed he noticed that he had stopped right in front of Inoue's accommodation. He also realized that somebody was trying to get in it.

Without thinking twice, he jumped up, ran, taking the stairs three at a time and grabbing the offender from behind, clutching him in a 'bear hug'. There was a quick struggle, filled with curses and under-waist hits, before Renji's back hit a light switch and he realized the person wasn't a he, but actually a she.

"Oh, let me go, you stupid baboon!" Honsho Chizuru yelled and kicked Renji in the shin. When he finally did, she turned to him, totally ignorant of the fact that he could've been a robber or a rapist, and hit him on the head with her bag, while saying: "How dare you grab me like that, you idiotic, insensitive…Oh, aren't you Kurosaki's brother?"

Renji blinked, trying to remember where had they met before. Chizuru adjusted her glasses: "Yeah, you came to find Kurosaki-kun the day after the summer vacation in our first year, no? I thought you were a cousin or something."

"What the…" Renji tried to read her features and remembered something about a hysterical girl jumping Orihime all the time, only to end up being hit by Tatsuki "Yeah…actually…we are…cousins…We have a lot in common."

"Sure. I mean, there aren't a lot of people here with hair like yours."

Look who's talking, Renji thought as he examined her locks. She could pass as a clone of Rukia, if of course Rukia was taller, with broad shoulders, red hair, glasses and crazy…crazier.

"Why did you grab me like that?" Chizuru asked, adjusting her casual summer's jacket.

"I though you were trying to burglar Inoue's place."

"Idiotic male! Why would I want to do something like that to my sweet Hime?"

"Well it looked like that to me." Renji said grimly.

"Twit." Chizuru tried slapping him, but he caught her wrist and banged her against the wall, her back pressed to his front.

"Oi, I went to a shi…police academy. Don't you dare try hitting me or else you'll get hurt." Renji said.

Chizuru just moaned loudly and tried struggling out of his grip. And just before Renji thought this was getting stupid, his breath hitched and he became painfully aware of a growing tent in his pants.

**Score: Shinigami vs. Love potion-0:5**

**A/N**-Once again, reviews for the arrancar fic, please, and I just might let Mayuri discover an antidote. Emphasis on might. And no, I like lizards. Big thanks to **Crazy Laughter** again, and to **Benehime** as well-I do love writing, but my home country offers no prospects. Actually, the gouverment is begging to be overthrown, but that's a different question. Compliments to my beta, **TheArchon,** whose help for this chapter was indispensible.

* * *

Bye!


	34. All I care for

* * *

**All I care for**

Byakuya carefully looked around the office to make sure nobody was watching. Then he drew a sheet of white paper, took some ink and prepared his brush. Then he hesitated-how to start a letter to a person you love without letting them in on it and make it look like it's a formal letter of thanks?

Why, oh why don't they teach stuff like that in school? At least you'd use them in real life. Slowly, hesitantly, he drew a draft.

"_Dear Yuzu-san,_

_Given that you are the likeliest recipient of this letter, please receive my heartily greetings and let your family know that Rukia and I completed our journey to my new working place. I have already began work and will do my best to spend quality time with her before I dispatch her for the beginning of the school year…."_

Hmm…no this will not do, he decided. Too formal. Too cold. This was not a way to greet people who have treated you with kindness when you were 'supposedly' desperate. He burned the paper before starting again.

After an hour of struggling with his usual language and his detest for apostrophes, Byakuya came up with the following:

"_Dear Yuzu-san,_

_I hope this letter finds you all in good health. I've arrived at my destination, and Rukia is having great fun in the city while I work. Everything is going smoothly. Please give your father once again my sincerest thanks for all he's done for us. I will send Rukia for the beginning of your next semester shortly. I hope that your brother could greet her at the train station."  
_

Good, that felt better, he nodded with appreciation. Now all he had to do is choose a way to end it. Something simple, not too mushy, but kind and heart-warming at the same time. Yours, Kuchiki Byakuya? Yours faithfully, Kuchiki Byakuya? Yours sincerely…Goodbye for now?

He grunted and held his head in pain. Then, after chewing on the end of his writing brush, he quickly scribbled:

"_With all our best wishes,_

_Yours most sincerely, _

_Kuchiki Byakuya and Rukia." _

Yes, using Rukia's name in the end was a brilliant thought, he applauded himself. Now all he had to do was get the letter into the mail of the certain city, get it stamped and hope that it wouldn't go missing on the way. Of course, he could never do that.

Thankfully, there was always someone to help, for the right price…or a brag…or a bet.

Yachiru peeked in the office and stared at him

"Yo, Byakushi!"

"Hello." He carefully folded the letter and wrote the address. "Are you ready to run for as fast as you can?"

"You bet! Those sweet bean buns are as good as mine!" she squeaked, grabbed the envelope and dashed out throught Seiretei, past the Senkai gate and into Osaka, from where, unbeknownst to the poor post office assistant, a letter was stamped and marked and thrown into the bags for the next train to Karakura.

* * *

The 6th division taicho smirked in delight, arranged for a ton of sweet buns to be delivered to Yachiru's quarters in the 11th and prepared to close the office for the night. He would have, if Renji didn't bust in the office, pale as death and panting as if he had run the whole distance from the human world to there.

Later, Byakuya discovered that was just the case, but in that very moment, he was busy staring at his fukutaicho questioningly as Renji sloped on his desk, pulled out a big jug of sake from under his chair and started drinking straight from the bottle.

Amusingly, the red-headed fukutaicho was too busy to look mad to notice him and kept drinking, mumbling to himself between gulps "What's wrong with me!" When the sake was finally over, Renji hurled the jug in the corner where it broke with a loud crush and started storming the drawers of his desk for more. At that point Byakuya coughed delicately and put as much coldness in his voice as it was possible.

"Must I remind you, Abarai, that any damage caused in the office will have to be paid by you?"

The look on his face was weird-he looked hesitant between shitting his pants with fear or blacking out in a primitive attempt to erase that last moment from his mind. Thankfully, he opted for the third thing-to turn around slowly and babble in shock.

"Ku…kuchiki taicho…what are you doing here?"

"The same goes for you as well, Abarai. It's past working hours and it's your night out."

Renji gulped. Hard. He hadn't seen this coming. All he cared for was to dash back here as soon as possible and get himself irreversibly drank, so that he could forget her almost…almost…He shook his head. He hadn't thought he'd have to give explanations until the next morning. Now he had to spill it immediately.

And some explanation that would be-_I almost ravished a girl, taicho. That would be no surprise, Abarai. But taicho, she didn't look like Rukia at all. (Deadly silence). Scatter, Senbonzakura. _

Sure, knowing that you're not in a one-sided homosexual love with your captain was a relieving thought, but the fact that instead you are in love with a girl who can't return your feelings was lessening his joy. Actually, it was a lot like déjà vu, but this time the girl couldn't love him back, not because she was too dense or in love with somebody who did nothing to deserve her (in his modest opinion), but because of her sexual orientation.

Not that it was something new (A/N I just love Sputnik Sweetheart), but it wasn't something to share with your taicho…especially with THAT taicho.

So he said:

"Taicho? Did you just…use an apostrophe?"

Byakuya winced sourly. Mental note-from now on write letters to Yuzu when you're not to talk to anyone right afterwards.

* * *

Zaraki taicho hurled another one of his subordinates through the room and went on with the special midnight practice. That felt so GOOD-the screaming, the feel of broken bones, and no Unohana in sight.

"Zaraki-taicho." A quiet, polite voice came from the door. The big man winced-maybe he shouldn't have gotten too optimistic.

"What?" he grumbled and let go of the man he was currently fighting (beating up). Unohana carefully stepped inside the dojo, removing her shoes and walking up to him. She seemed unhappy.

"Zaraki-taicho, I appreciate the fact that you allow me to heal your subordinates, but don't you think you should leave training session for more…reasonable hours?" One could say she was worried about the people in the 11th division, but a closer inspection revealed black bags under her eyes, wrinkles in her clothes, a barely suppressed yawning. She had slung her captain's haori over her sleeping robes.

Because the courses were suspended, Zaraki had decided that he had won the bet for now, so she had to take care of his troops personally. But she obviously took her job too much in, if she got out of bed to attend their practice. For some reason, he felt rather guilty-she looked like she couldn't keep on her legs. And he hadn't really been going easy on her. Who knows, maybe she thought he was mocking her with these sudden drills? But Zaraki was damned if he thought she'd go as far as to come every time he decided to get the blood running

"You don't have to come." He said at last

"That is the agreement we've had." She smiled meekly and turned to the mountain of dislocated joints awaiting her. With a sigh, her zanpakuto was rested against the wall and she started making her way to the hurt. But Zaraki grabbed her elbow, stopping her dead in her tracks.

"I said you don't have to come." He stated, using his flaring eye to underline his words "That means you can rest."

"I will rest when your men are healed." She smiled "I'm no fighter-my job is to heal. I would be 'worthless' if I don't."

"Now listen here, onna…" Zaraki began, but his eye patch, slightly out of place because of the fight, came undone and his reiatsu spilled in the room. By the time he managed to control it, Unohana, who was already tired, had collapsed on the ground.

Zaraki felt awkward. His subordinates were staring dumbly at him and Retsu, as if wondering what to do about this. Sure, they could call for help, but wouldn't they be called pansies for doing so.

"Taicho…" the one nicknamed Maki-maki called "Should we call for Isane-fukutaicho?"

"Nah, leave it. I'll take care of her, you guys go."

"But taicho…"

"No buts, you idiots. You've been taking care of yourselves before she was around to hold your sissy hands, do it now!" with that, Zaraki took off his haori and wrapped Unohana in it, before picking her up and carrying her all the way to the 4th division.

* * *

"Ukitake-taicho…"

"Nemu-san, I already told you to call me Jushiro."

"Jushiro…" the girl blushed slightly "I know this is not a very good question but…why are you trying to sneak into Hitsugaya taicho's quarters through the window?"

"Well…." Ukitake, who was hanging from the wall, holding onto some tree "We were supposed to be back from our patrol one day ago. Perhaps he might've gotten worried."

"So you want to look like you've been sleeping all day?" Nemu nodded "I understand."

Ukitake made it to the window, grabbed hold of it, pulled himself up and was preparing to open it, when his eyes processed what was happening in the room. He let out a muffled yelp of surprise, before dropping back on the ground. Luckily, his reflexes were still sharp enough for him to land softly, without making any noise or distressing Nemu.

"Uki…Jushiro, are you alright?" she asked worriedly

"Yeah, sure." He swallowed hard "But I think Toushiro-kun will be needing his room tonight."

* * *

**A/N**-Well, another chapter complete, I apologize to **Crazy laughter** if this is a nuisance for her nervous system. I do hope the Zaraki/Unohana moment makes up for it. As Saki Hanajima says: It has been a good run, but at last it has coem to an end. Sadly, this fic has been going on for a long time, and I really do feel that, since summer has ended, I should end it as well. But fear not, there will be a sequel, and there I will pay attention to the pairings I didn't have time to take care of in this one. So, even though the end of Re-education will come soon, don't worry if I didn't leave enough spotlight for all te couples (_all those who want to read it and haven't sent me a notification-please, through PM or review, so that I can tell you when I post it here)._ **Kohryu**, I hope the Byaku/indirect Yuzu moment in this chapter pleased you, and thanks to **Benehime** for the reviews. Of course, I'd like to give credit to my beta **TheArchon** for his help, and the arrancar fic in which I am co-writing is currently being re-evaluated, because we noticed some changes in the storyline are in order. Thank you for your attention.


	35. Delicate touch

* * *

**Delicate touch**

It was a strange time, the hour before dawn. The world was still silent and sleepy, too tired to acknowledge anything. The sky was still dark, but the clouds were a different shade of blue, hinting that very soon there would be a pale pink hue spreading from its eastern corner to announce the new day. The grass bathed in sweet, cool dew and tickled playfully the ankles of those who were happy enough to be out there, enjoying the sincere music of silence.

Ukitake sat on the porch of the 4th division compound, dressed into a pair of loose sleeping robes and looking forward to some good day's rest. Sure, he had just bruised his arm, and sure, he'd much rather be sitting on his own porch, but his division was still under repair and he hadn't gotten much sleep last night, so it was a good excuse to just lie down and recover after a…shall we say, a long and tiresome patrol.

Nemu knelt next to him, dressed similarly, but a lot more uncomfortable. Ukitake greeted her with a warm smile and took her hand gently.

"I mustn't stay for too long." She said quietly. "Mayuri-sama will not be pleased."

"I thought he gave you the whole week off. Doesn't that give you…two more days?" Jushiro calculated quickly

"It does." Nemu nodded "But I can never be too sure. He has a very particular dislike to the 4th division."

"True." Actually, Kurotsuchi's hatred to the 4th was almost proverbial, although nobody (except maybe now Soi Fong) knew why he didn't want his subordinates to be healed there.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" Nemu gently touched his cheek and he leaned into her palm, kissing it and inhaling her scent "You've had a long night."

"I know. But I'm rarely up so early. You don't get such an opportunity to watch the sunrise, and with someone you care for on top of it."

"So you wish to watch the sunrise with me?"

"Yes, I do." He held her closer, and Nemu sniggled in as much as it was possible for her. Slowly, golden light spilled across the sleeping world and the earliest of birds took up their first songs for the day.

* * *

Unohana woke up, feeling warm and cozy. She felt like staying like this forever, but her inner clock told her it was not Sunday, a day for a _grasse matinee_, and she forced herself to sit up.

Surprisingly, she discovered she had been lying on a bed in her division, and not her room. While she examined carefully the white haori with the mark of the 11th division that had been used as a blanket for her, she remembered what happened the night before and winced-dropping out of conscience was most definitely not on her must-do list.

Retsu heard the door open and looked up, only to see Zaraki come in. She blinked-there was something different about him, but she couldn't quite figure it out. He wasn't wearing his captain's haori (logical, since she slept on it). He looked clean shaven…well, sure he would be, after all, he couldn't have stayed with her all the time…Or could he? She looked at the deep valley left in the chair next to her and wondered how long would someone have to sit down on it to make it.

Unohana looked up and got her face buried in something with a sweet smell and sharp leaves.

"Sorry 'bout that." Zaraki said and took the flowers a bit away from her "Didn't think you'd turn around so fast."

"I understand." She nodded, still a little confused "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"These are for you. I er…thought that you may like them." He said without paying her any attention, walked up to a drawer, bulled an empty glass and filled it with water, before settling it down on the table and put in the flowers

"That's very kind of you…" it was hard to call it a bouquet, actually. It was made out of wild flowers, something you could see on the sidewalk or in the park, and it looked like the florist didn't pay much attention to they way it was created. Probably Zaraki just passed through a garden on his way there and took a handful of them, but still, it was a touching gesture "I will heal your troops immediately…" she reached for her shoes, but his hand grabbed hers and put it away.

"They're not babies, they took care of themselves." Zaraki sat down on the chair and put his hands on his knees. Unohana didn't fail to notice they were balled into fists. Interesting. "I…err….wanted to talk to ya…about that bet of ours…"

"Yes?" Gods, how could she look so calm and relaxed when he felt like dying.

"Well…I…you know, think this schedule ain't worin' very good for both of us. Ya need rest and ya have other patients. And I don't need you around all the time. So…since Yama-jii was the one who called off the course thing…and he's a guy…so in a way I was the one running…we both lost. So…er…you come heal the guys once a week and I'll give ya some of these and we'll call it even."

He shot all of that very quickly, without pausing to take a breath even when he was hesitant, and it took Unohana a while to descript what he had mean. Then she said:

"I'm afraid you are not correct, Zaraki-taicho." With a loud 'huh' his head snapped up and he met her radiant smile "I think in this bet…we both won."

* * *

Hisagi was worried. More than worried. For the past few days he hadn't slept, eaten, or worked as good as he was used to, and that was not good. His third seat had noticed that he was failing with paperwork, and being the helpful guy he was, asked him if he needed to go for another check-up at the forth division. Hisagi had declined hastily, trying to look perfectly fine while writing faster than usual, but that wasn't fooling anyone. Thank goodness the poor guy didn't realize the cause of his lieutenant's condition, otherwise Hisagi would've been the laughing stock of the Gotei 13 by now. He knew very well that he had a division to run, and that people expected lots of things from a substitute taicho, but he just couldn't go on. There were things in a man's life that one couldn't overlook.

And the fact that a good friend of yours thought you were gay probably took up the top three of that list. Sure, he wasn't the kind of guy to care much about what people said, but Isane wasn't 'people'. She was sweet and kind and always took care of him first before she ran off to help others.

There was more to her than just a helpful person too-Hisagi loved talking to her, and she was a beautiful girl. Usually, he feared that being just friends with some pretty woman would get spoiled by too much sexual pressure, but now the realization that there could possibly not be a next step to their relationship because there would possibly be no sexual pressure with her thinking he was gay was…complex, to say the least.

Not that he suddenly wanted a 'serious relationship'. No sir, he was a busy substitute captain who didn't have time for romance and courting and stuff like that. But just like women feel the clock ticking, men who work hard also wake up one day and realize that their best years are already left behind and that playing 'playboy' when everyone thought you a responsible and serious person was…pretty sad. And Isane was a charming girl. For some reason, he couldn't stand the thought that she believed him to be gay.

* * *

Still, getting to the 4th division to get things straight took a lot more guts than fighting hollows and mountains of paperwork. Slowly, he made his way there, and under the pretext of a sore neck, got into her office.

She was arranging her medicine cabinet when he came in, so she didn't really notice his entrance.

"Lie there…" she pointed at the nearby examination table with a merry voice "I'll be right there."

Hisagi soundlessly walked up to it, while wondering how to go about it. Initially, he just wanted to grab her and yell at her that he wasn't gay, but such behavior was downright hysterical and inappropriate. Instead, he decided that if she didn't really care for him, his explaining the situation was going to be pointless. So how to…

With a sly grin, he quickly undid his sash and took off his shikahusho, then sat on the table half-naked and expectant of her to turn around.

"Ok, then, how can I….help you?" she blinked, feeling a hot wave come across her "Hisagi-fukutaicho?"

Alright, he breathed, things are going as they should. His inner self smirked when he saw her flush up a bit and swallow hard-even if she thought he was gay, she wanted him. In the back of his mind, he wondered how much exactly did she deny herself for the sake of her patients.

_This is ridiculous_, Isane thought, _I should brace myself. I should stop staring. I should stop thinking about the way he looks right now. _

"So, how are you feeling?" she made her way to him "I understand your neck bothers you."

"Yeah…maybe I slept on the wrong side of bed." Hisagi said, while trying to figure out his next move. And…why did she smell so nice?

"Where exactly?" Isane pushed aside the though of his warm skin under her fingers as she worked on the tight muscles of his neck. _Stop staring, she scolded herself. There is no way for him to like you, so why bother. It's not like he's something special. Just…don't look…down…Ah hell!_

"That's the spot." He said and sighed contentedly as she started massaging. Isane flushed. Slowly, Hisagi turned to look at her. "Isane-san…"

"Y…yes!" she almost leaped into the air. Why the hell did he have such deep, rich, hot, sexy eyes? Why did he…hold on, did she just call him sexy?

"I was wondering…" he touched her hand lightly "If you want to join me for lunch today?"

"Umm…I'm a little busy right now…" she began

"Then how about dinner?" he asked "Actually, it'd be a lot better for both of us."

"I'm not so sure."

"Why?" his eyes darkened and she took a step back without thinking

"Well…because…" she flushed again "Hisagi-kun, you really don't need to hide it from me. I perfectly understand that some people might find it worrying and you don't need to jeopardize your position with coming out of the closet so suddenly, so you can count on my…"

_Damn that woman!_ Hisagi's mind blanked out as he reached back, grabbed Isane by the wrists and pulled her down on the examination table, right into his arms.

"The only one I want is you." He said, before jerking her up in a swift kiss. Isane blushed brighter than ever and tried to pull back, but he only held her tighter. In the end, she started kissing him back, and while the hormones caused havoc into her head, she made a mental note to scold Yachiru for forcing her wild theories on other people. _Gay my ass._

* * *


	36. Stubborn

* * *

**Stubborn**

"Come here, Rei-chan."

"Don't be like that, Rei!"

"Come here, you stupid bitch."

The black haired woman ran through Rukongai, hiding in every niche and behind every trash bin she could come across. She was already panting and sweat soaked, but didn't stop. She just couldn't.

"Damn it, don't these guys ever give up?" she hissed, bringing out her fist and taking a blind hit at someone's head. The dull pain, followed by a muffled curse assured her she had slowed them down the least, before attempting to resume her dead run. But then a hand shot up, grabbed her ankle and knocked her out on the ground, blasting the air ot of her lungs, and before she knew it, the three men were surrounding her, cracking their fists with animalistic grins on their faces.

"Well, look at what we found." The reek of sake almost brought tears to her eyes, if Rei was a woman to cry.

"Didn't your mommies tell you not to pick things up from the ground?" she laughed cynically, but somebody (she couldn't tell which one) had stepped on her back, pinning her down to the ground like deadweight.

"We don't mind getting our hands dirty, don't we, guys?" one of them chuckled "You'll have fun too, Rei-chan, just let us do the work."

"Do it with each other, you friggin' fairy!" she spat, earning a kick in the stomach.

Drunken jokes rained on her head, mixed with other noises she'd rather not have heard, but Rei wasn't somebody to freak out easily. They'd have to move, she thought. Even for a second, one of them had to move his foot from her back, even if it was for the sake of being out of the way when the other…and when he did, she'd be ready. She'd kick and hit and scream and scratch. Go for the groins, she though, or for the eyes. Fingers straight in the sockets, that'd send them right down their stupid throats.

But the foot on her back didn't move and she was getting a very bad feeling about this. Then, there was a whooshing noise and the weight disappeared. Rei blinked, too startled to move, then got up and saw all three of her chasers lying on the ground, getting beat up by something that looked like a rabid wolf that walked on his rear legs.

Ok, it'd look like a wolf if wolves are bald and carried unsheathed swords around. Rei pushed herself up on the wall and stared at Ikkaku.

"I think you made your point clear." She said coldly

"Shut up, I'm not done with them!" red-faced, Ikkaku continued to hit the three drunkards, sometimes using the dull side of his blade, sometimes just crushing them with his reiatsu, but he went on until he was out of breath. THEN he turned to her. "Are you alright?"

"Now you ask me." Rei rolled her eyes "I'm fine. And just for the record, I'd have taken on those guys without your help."

"Sure, and the moon is made of cheese. Hey!" Ikkaku ran after her, as she tried to disappear in the alleyways "I came here to look for you, you stupid onna! You could show some gratitude for saving your ass!"

"I don't need ya to save me. I'd have taken those guys on!"

"Yeah? Then maybe next time I'll just sit back and watch, won't I?"

"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?"

"Did I say I would?"

"You damn…well, will you leave me alone?"

"No." he grabbed her arm and started dragging her through the streets.

"WAIT! LET ME GO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Taking you to the academy. Where you wouldn't be causing so much trouble."

"Damn you!" She tried to yank her arm off "I told you, I don't want to be some high-ass shinigami!"

"Nobody's asking you! You'll be better off there instead of on the streets."

"No!" she dug her heels in and made him stop to look at her. The other alternative was to pull her shoulder out of its socket, and that was not a good idea. "Let me go! I have work here. I have a life!"

"Yeah? Fighting and hiding from rapists, is that your life? In the academy…"

"Stop going on about the academy! My mother is here! I can't leave her alone!"

"What?"

Rei wrinkled her nose and said:

"My mom and I died in an accident a few years back. But since I was always making her sick and hungry, I decided to live on my own. She's too old to work, she needs the money I send her. And…if she doesn't see me every once in a while, she'll be very lonely."

Ikkaku sighed. He grew up without a family, or many friends, aside from Yumichika, but for some reason, he understood. The loneliness…the feeling that you're drifting useless and pathetic, wasting your life…Before, he had cured that with fighting. And now, he cured it by living.

"Listen you…" he began "Your ma wouldn't be happy if something happens to you. In the academy, you won't cause more trouble and you'll learn how to seal your reiatsu, so that you don't make people around you hungry or sick. The money you'd get is a lot better than anything you could steal from the street, and seated officers are allowed a house-you can do more for her that way." As Rei watched him, clearly hesitant, he added "Besides, I won't go around to save ya every time ya get into trouble, so come on."

With this, he picked her up on his shoulder and carried her forward, ready to tune out any more protests she might press on him. Surprisingly, she decided to remain silent and grab onto his shoulders so that she wouldn't wall. Unbeknownst to the other, they both let out a small smile.

* * *

Nanao rubbed her forehead as she was trying to focus on the paperwork, but her treacherous eyes were always waiting for her to be off guard to skim onto the huge picture hanging on the opposite wall of the office, where it could catch the sun and the eyes of everyone who entered.

She had give credit when it's due, it could've been worse. She had argued with her taicho for a good hour before she managed to convince him that they should put a picture in their office that wouldn't give Yamamoto Sou-taicho a heart attack if he saw it. It was of the two of them, Shunsui, clad into a pink Hawaiian shirt, holding her from behind and grinning at the camera. The wind was playing with her disheveled hair and the embroidered skirts of her simple white dress, showing off her slender legs and white skin. Behind them, the sea was roaring and the seagulls were circling the sky, aiming to poop on somebody's head before running away, laughing.

Nanao couldn't argue, the picture was a nice one. Both of them were happy (ok, she looked a little startled, but he caught her off hand), and it reminded her of happiness and lightness, a perfect relaxation from the tedious paperwork and boring bureaucratic duties. But still, it would take some time before she got used to it. Everybody had taken her relationship with her captain as granted, as something existing despite her contradicting the rumors in every possible way, but there was a difference between rumors and a proof posted on the wall of the office.

Then again, she had to be thankful he listened to her and didn't poster the one where he was jumping with her in the sea, where he was wearing a pair of clown-like trousers and she wore nothing but a two-piece swim suit. "I'll save it for my quarters." He had said with a wink. Nanao didn't know whether she should be terrified or excited.

Then, just as unexpected as everything else happening in the eight division, her captain burst into the room, sending papers flying around like a bunch of doves on Trafalgar square and sweeping her up into his arms, cradling her like a bride.

"Ta…taicho!" Nanao exclaimed, grabbing onto him so that she wouldn't fall. "What on earth ARE you doing?"

"Holding my sweet Nanao-chan, of course." Shunsui cooed and almost got hit by her fan again. "Yare! That was unnecessary, Nanao-chan, I just wanted to tell you the good news."

"What good news?" she asked suspiciously "Did you manage to beat your sake drinking record AGAIN?"

"No, no, no, Nanao-chan. But I was talking to Yama-jii today. And Juu-kun as well. We wanted to help him make some…alterations to the rules."

"Alterations?" If Yamamoto's favorite students came to talk him into something, the chances of success were greater than if Aizen had a loaded gun pressed to the Sou-taicho's head. But what.

"You see, Nanao-chan, we figured it out…or, should I say, Nemu-san explained things to Jushiro and he explained them to me. We figured out why the reason behind the whole course thing."

Nanao blinked. Nemu? Tell captain Ukitake? Why? He was a sweet man, but surely she'd have no reason to tell him unless…

Oh! Her eyes widened with the realization. Nemu and Ukitake-taicho…but it was impossible. It was absurd! But…then again…there was lots of love in the air recently.

And then she realized he was bowing at her.

"Sir?"

"I apologize, Nanao-chan." He said, taking her hand in both of his "I apologize for being inconsiderate, ungentlemanly and flamboyant, demanding love from you when I didn't give you a reason to respect me. And I'm sorry for contributing to the misery of so many guys at the courses." He delicately missed the fan and continued "I hereby swear on my prized hat that I'll be on my best behavior. I'll comb my hair. I'll come to work clean shaven. I'll drink less sake than I'd ever had. And I swear I'll make you the happiest woman in the world, my Nanao-chan."

She smiled as she trailed her fingers down his jaw and leaned forward to kiss him lightly.

"Somehow, I doubt that if you had acted otherwise we would've gotten here." She said softly "And even though it sounds crazy, I don't want you to change. I like…I love the way you are."

"Ah, my Nanao-chan finally confessed!" he crooned before they kissed for a good five minutes.

"Shunsui…" she asked "What did you talk to Yamamoto sou-taicho about?"

"Ah, that." Shunsui smiled "Well, since there's so much love in the air recently, we thought he should leave some room for us enamored couples to get together every day without causing an uproar on captain's meetings."

"What?" her eyes shot open briskly. They had talked about that? And there were no scars from burning on him. She eyed his haori, trying to find traces of smudge, before looking at him again "And what did he say?"

"He refused, of course." Shunsui laughed "But he did allow us to skip on our duties on Friday night, so that we can spend more…quality time together."

"Friday night? But that's….now…" Nanao blinked as she was swept up and cradled in Shunsui's arms yet again. "Wait! What's going on?!"

"It's like you said, Nanao-chan. It's Friday night and I'm here to deliver you from this tedious paperwork." He tried to clear her desk while kissing her again, but she stopped him

"We can't…what if somebody comes in? What if somebody from the squad hears…"

"They already left on their weekly drinking break." He mumbled against her lips and winced when she jumped on the ground

"Drinking break? Since when does that happen?" she asked, eyes narrowing dangerously

"Why, ever since you were old enough for me not to worry that some drunken seat might poison your mind with dirty talk, Nanao-chan."

"Poison?" she rolled her eyes, but then smiled impishly, pulling him down again and dragging him towards the living accommodations of the division. Shunsui grinned as he swept her in his arms once again and carried her all the way up the stairs-the night was definitely turning out for the best.

* * *

A/N-And anither one is complete. Since the next chapter will be the last, I hope you guys will tell me which couples would you like to see in it (of those I developped here, sorry there wasn't much Kiyone/Sentaro). Thanks in advance.


	37. Golden autumn

There you go, folks, the last chapter of Re-education. Enjoy.

I don't own Bleach.

* * *

**Golden autumn**

The air was cool, but the rays of the sun left gentle caresses on your cheeks, creating the illusion you're swimming in a sea of light. Maple leaves of all colors danced in the wind, turning the scenery in a patchwork of red, yellow, brown and green.

To say that the announcement on the board of the academy that put the 'Re-education' courses to an end was met with enthusiasm was an understatement. There were cheers everywhere, screams, laughter and yells. The 11th division threw a party, with lots and lots of sake and fighting. Men's fun, they called it. Yamamoto sou-taicho almost threw a tap dance. Even Kira seemed relieved. Most divisions joined them, although Hisagi fukutaicho and Isane fukutaicho's disappearance from the festive did not go unnoticed.

But duty is duty and in the afternoon, Yamamoto sou-taicho called them to a meeting to discuss the results of the survey conducted during the summer. Hisagi and Isane were late, though nobody said a word about the disheveled hair, or the weird looks, or the bite marks with the size of poker chips on their necks.

They saw everything when Soi Fong taicho and Mayuri taicho arrived together, Mayuri with a dazed look on his face, and Soi dressed in a short skirted outfit under her captain's haori. Of course, nobody could know that earlier that day, when Mayuri had been showing her a documentary on sex (read: an adult movie), she had wrapped her arms around him and whispered hoarsely in his ear: "I want to try something like that…"

Needless to say he didn't need to be told twice.

* * *

One week later, things were taking their usual rhythm. Paperwork had to be done, errands were ran, people flirted with each other and sometimes locked themselves into rooms. Friday night was quickly becoming a favorite in the 8th division, and Nanao had used the opportunity to ask Nemu, who was off for her patrolling duty in the Living world with Ukitake taicho to get her some things.

The picture on the wall of her office was becoming quite proverbial, attracting more shinigami who looked at it and helped her with the paperwork, while they were at it. While Nanao was stacking the forms in a corner and gave it the 100,345th look she gave it that day, the small 3rd seat who was currently helping her let out a yelp of surprise. The door of the office was blocked by something that appeared to be a bear, made out of lilies, roses, violets and all sorts of flowers.

Nanao was wondering whether to yell or to use kido when the thing made its way into the office and turned out to be nobody but her own taicho, grinning widely while a patch of dandelions stuck out from under his hat. To her surprised gaze, he answered with a wider grin (if that was even possible), and wished her happy birthday.

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, smacked him with her fan and then kissed him….before reminding him her birthday was in the spring. The 3rd seat excused herself and took the forms away, preparing herself for an afternoon of forging her fukutaicho's signature practice.

* * *

Kira took a week off to spend it at his family's sanatorium with Hinamori. Rangiku saw him off with a big fruits basket for Hinamori and Hitsugaya's best wishes for a quick recovery. Nobody knew how long it would take, but they all hoped that she wouldn't try anything so reckless as to "throw herself in front of some assassins", as they delicately put it in front of Yamamoto sou-taicho.

Rangiku asked Toushiro to help her achieve bankai. He agreed, on the condition that she doesn't try to change divisions like Hinamori did. One day, after practice, they took a walk around the forests around Rukongai in the hopes of finding a suitable clearing for their training sessions, and stumbled upon a small valley with very little trees in it. Even though autumn was advancing, the grass there was still luscious green and soft, and the air was still filled with the scent of summer, of love, or happiness. It looked like it had come out of a painting.

In one corner, looking completely out of place, as if the artist's brush had slipped him, was an old shack, abandoned and covered in weeds and ivy. It looked almost wild, with its creaky walls and humid ceiling, but as soon as they saw it, they knew it would be perfect.

Rangiku ran forward to check it out, while Toushiro shrugged off his upper shikahusho and haori, allowing the warm sun to tickle his skin. He watched as his lieutenant laughed, skipped around the house like a child playing with his Cristmas present, sometimes bending forward to pick up daisies to make them in a chain. He watched her, with her crown on flowers and hair made out of sun and thought he never felt happier.

Then she turned around and flashed a bright smile at him, waving him to come and join her, and he immediately felt the tension and worry from the past weeks evaporate from his body as he ran towards her, careful not to wall into some ditch. No bankai practice was done that day, but it didn't go to the waste.

* * *

"It's a disaster." Renji sighed as he told his friends at the 11th about his latest predicament. "I mean…I liked Rukia…but this girl is totally different. I never felt anything like this before. I mean…she's not bad but…I never thought I'd be hot for that type."

"Oi, Renji, what do ya mean?" Ikkaku asked with the exasperated sigh of a man after a long night. He cast his eyes around the yard where the latest fighting and drinking session of the 11th was being held. A tall, ebony haired woman was helping Yachiru beat the shit out of the troops, and from time to time gave him dirty looks over her shoulder. He sighed again and picked up his sword. "Tell ya what, man, you go find that girl of yours and get her to go on a date with ya, and then talk about disasters."

"But…."

"Don't give me 'buts', you crybaby. You may be under Byakuya-hime's command now, but you're still one of us! Pull yourself together and go for that girl!"

"But she likes girls! I just told you that!" Renji yelled

"So what? She'll stop liking them!"

"Jeez, Renji…" Yumichika sighed "You can make the cowardly lion look like Zaraki taicho."

"But how can we hook up? I have to grow breasts!"

Ikkaku slapped his forehead and went to help Rei kick ass. Yumichika sighed again and rubbed his perfectly shaped eyebrow, before saying:

"Look, Renji, it all comes down to the right words. You must be persuasive. You must talk to her. Dating a girl like Chizuru-san has many advantages, if you look at it from another angle."

"Like?"

"Well, your wildest fantasies will come true, whatever they are. Surely, with a man like you Chizuru-san can get her dreams come true as well. Using you as bait to get a third party…"

"Oi, I ain't no bait!" Renji exclaimed

"I was speaking figuratively." Yumichika brushed off the comment as if it was some annoying fly. "Don't act so chaste to me, Renji, I can't count the times you said you wanted to see what a three…."

"I was drunk! Besides, I've already tried to forget her. Women are…boring. Other women that is."

"I suppose it's not the right time to ask if men are…."

"Damn it, are you going to help me or not?!"

"Like I said, a relationship with a girl like Chizuru-san has many advantages, if you can convince her to accept you. Perhaps, with Kurosaki-kun and Rukia-chan together now, you can draw Orihime-san to your bond and…"

"Damn it! She's in love with the Quincy!" Renji exclaimed

"Did she say so?"

"Isn't it obvious? And besides, if I make a move on her, Ishida'll make a pin cushion out of my ass."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try and get Chizuru chan. After Rukia chose Ichigo, all you've been doing is mop around. Don't interrupt me!" he cut him off before he could open his mouth "You've been moping around and it's understandable. She was too dense to see how you felt for her, but you're going over your limits. People are getting some pretty strange ideas, and maybe your tastes are leaning…towards people with different preferences. So what? Do you have to kill yourself with loneliness? If you have to, grow breasts!"

Renji stared dumbly at Yumichika. Little did the 5th seat know that's how started the longest and most tiresome courtship in history.

* * *

"Here!" Zaraki thrust another bouquet in Unohana's arms, ignoring the looks and muffled chuckles coming from the patients. Well, it was his fault for bursting in the middle of a check up. Thank goodness she decided to give the old lady a sponge bath later in the afternoon. She picked up the flowers and smiled, appreciating.

"Very good, Zaraki-taicho, thank you. No poison ivy today, I see."

"Yeah well…" he looked at her mouth and frowned "What's that?"

"What? That? Yachiru-chan treated me a candy drop." She blinked.

"She did?" that was weird. Yachiru didn't share sweets. Then…"What flavor?"

"Hmm?" Unohana sucked on the treat pensively "Cherry, I think."

She blinked, finding her lips pressed to something hard and warm at the same time. It took her another second to realize that it was Zaraki's mouth. He pulled away after a minute or two, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I like cherry." He mumbled. Unohana stared for a second, then smiled.

"So do I." she nodded.

"Why don't those two just get a room and leave us alone to sleep?" one of her patients asked the old lady with the sponge bath. She looked at the two taichos briefly, before sighing:

"_Ah, les jeunes."_In the living world, a petite raven-haired shinigami paid a orange-head teen a surprise visit by jumping through the window. Nobody knows what happened next, but it's pretty certain that the teen didn't notice his dad scream "Good luck on your date, Karin-chan." So loudly that even the neighbors heard. The older Kurosaki twin just yelled at him to be quiet and pulled Sado Yasudora away from the clinic.

* * *

In the kitchen, a petite, blond haired girl was cooking a miso soup with a happy hum on her lips. A letter with Osaka's postal code was carefully tucked in the folds of her apron so that she could pull it out and re-read it over and over again. Yours most sincerely….maybe it was too much to hope for, but Yuzu loved the way it sounded.

In the middle of Karakura park, two figures moved in the patchwork of shadows and moonlight. The wild bushes around the lake made the moonbeams in the water look less blinding, but the couple had eyes only for each other. Nemu's hair was let loose after the latest fight and Jushiro was stroking it leisurely with his fingers. Gently, they stopped by a small bench, under which some wild flowers still grew. He bent down, picked up a late daisy and tucked it behind her ear. Nemu smiled sweetly and leaned onto his hand. He bent down to kiss her and they stayed like that, parts in this game of light and darkness, leaning onto each other, a picture of trust, happiness and love.

Over their heads, a crippled moon continued its way through the velvety skies, a little sad, a little envious, but gently stealing some moments from the day for them.

….

After all, you couldn't know what idea Matsumoto would come up with when the sun shone so brightly time got too tired to move.

….

And how would they deal with it.

….

The end? Not quite.

* * *

**A/N**-And now for the credits. Big thanks to **Kohru**, **Benehime, darkangel1910** and **Crazy laughter** for their constant reviews and good ideas. Thanks to "Pride and prejudice", "Midnight secretary" and the Bleach manga, which I watch and read, I got over my numerous author's blocks. Of course, most of the credit for this story must go to **TheArchon**, my beta, whose support and help were indispensable. Play yourselves "Europa" by Globus for me and read Bleach II Arrancar.

The Byakuya/Yuzu sequel will come out...eventually. I'll inform the ones interested through PM, don't add me to your author's alert list. If I may say so, this fic has been one of my best and I hope my sense of humor isn't as amputated as it usually is. I liked writing it a lot, and so I hope you liked reading it as much. So there we are for now, we can take a breath. _Thank you, God bless and good night!_


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